Could abortion be a cause for depress... - Mental Health Sup...
Could abortion be a cause for depression?
I read that abortion can cause depression and that there are therapists trained to help women with this.
there should be your doctor may know of one
It's a traumatic experience I am not a Doctor but I would say yes
Hi,
Yes, I really do believe it does. It is such a sensitive subject which isn't really discussed. Apart from all the hormonal upheaval, the emotional issues are so complex. Even if the termination was done for all the "right" reasons, it will always be a horrendous decision to have to make. There should be some kind of counselling before the operation to ensure it is the right thing to do, but I don't think this always happens. The Pregnancy Advice Service should be able to advise about counselling, but don't know about costs. MIND should also be able to help, and a GP will be able to refer for counselling, but sometimes the waiting lists can be long, just depending where you live. Sometimes a good friend can help, just talking about it to someone who will just listen and not judge. But the first thing that does help is to forgive yourself, and get rid of the guilt and that can be difficult.
Yes of course, your hormones rushing around and then a sudden drop,,, just like after baby depression. go see your gp x
Exactly, that is why I have created this space, cause as you just said, it is not a subject that is really discussed, although many many women have been through this terrible experience, a trauma that is felt pretty much in her body, mind and soul. I believe men also get the post abortion syndrome and have a really hard time trying to recover and forgive themselves.... and even trying to forget. So the idea is to find out the consequences abortion has in the body of the women and in her mind, and how to help her, and him to somehow try to heal this part of their lives.
Even after 24 years I still find it hard to deal with. I was really young and away from home so never told my parents. Only a few close friends knew. I have never thought about father's feelings before as I was raped and I didn't have to consider them. Maybe because it is a woman who goes through the physical trauma, and ultimately only she can decide what to do with her body, we forget that the father may have similar feelings and thoughts afterwards. I suppose we, perhaps wrongly, just assume they don't have the same emotional fallout. I had a miscarriage 15 year later and I felt that this was some kind of punishment for not going ahead with my first pregnancy, by whom i am not quite sure. now I have a lovely 8 year old, but I have never forgotten my other 2.
I am so sorry!!
I had a miscarriage myself and had the post abortion syndrome, in fact this is what has moved me to talk about the subject. Your case was terribly hard...only you know it, being raped must be one of the most sad and frightening things in the world...so I am very sorry you had to go through that, but anyhow as you said it yourself you still miss that baby, because in him there was also a part of you, although the circumstances as I already said, were simply horrible. But abortion is only another trauma that harms deeply a woman's soul and hormonal balance. I guess we will never forget those lives that didn't get to join us in this world, but their memory can help us to embrace life, take good care of it...as it is very fragile.
Thank you it is difficult to talk about because not only do you have your own guilt to live with, but the judgement from other people, and until you are in a position where you may have to make a decision like this you really don't know which way you will go.
It most certainly does, and I can testify it does to men too, still struggling with it nearly two years on
I'm sorry that you are still finding it difficult. I think sometimes a woman has so many things going on in their bodies, hormones are all over the place, it knows it is no longer pregnant, and will often produce milk and believe me that's hard, and then there is the emotional issues to be dealt with. I s'pose that if the decision has been made by a woman because it is her body and she is the one who has to have the procedure, there is no compromise if the father does not wish her to do so. I will be honest, it just has never really occurred to me that men can be affected just as much, I have never spoken to a man or heard the male perspective before. I hope you don't mind me asking, but how did it affect you relationship, and were you offered any counselling
It ended our relationship and I had to deal with it on my own
That's really sad, you have lost so much. You have made me realise that men suffer too. If you are still struggling, would you consider counselling ?
I have done but not a lot many can say. Was a long-distance relationship and I would have had to move, no definite prospects, lot of issues. Didn't help that I had an existing history of this happening which caused me a lot of anguish. That one was definitely justified but this one I'm not so sure - money was a big concern though and one I couldn't be sure about.
It must have been a really difficult time for you. Did you have any input in the decision or was it made without you. I can't help but wonder if it is easier to come to terms with if the decision is made together, but even then, the woman can always have the last word. I wonder if there needs to be a change in the law, can't believe I am actually saying this because I have always thought that it was a woman's right to chose and have control over her own body, but it is so easy to have a termination now, and even 25 years ago it was reletavely easy. The pregnancy Advisory service just referred me to a clinic Nd it was all over within 24 hours of making the initial enquiry. By law, I should have seen a counsellor to ensure my state of mind, I saw a doctor whoses English wasn't very good, and I kind of got swept way in the system, no one ever discussed options with me and who knows what I would have done, but I do feel that it happen too quickly. So maybe it would be beneficial for both parties to be given counselling before the termination, ok so maybe the father wouldn't be blue to change their partners mind, but they would be able to express their feelings and given some support. If the medical profession can recognised male post natal depression, surely they can recognise that men can feel just as bereft when a partner has a termination?
It was a decision made together but a really upsetting one. I feel we were both in a lot of denial and rushed the decision. I know some counselling beforehand would have been best but she wouldn't do it even though I suggested it. I feel myself angry because I let a lot of issues cloud my judgement, I didn't feel quite right about having kids due to having gone through this before and still having a lot of feelings (have since found out that my previous ex lied to me about one) but also angry at the last one's lax attitude towards birth control.
Pride is a strong thing that men identify with and unless you are a layabout scrounger it hurts when you can't manage a situation especially financially. I needed some certainty that I could support her, I didn't have that and in all fairness I was right to be worried - just spent about 4 months going to over a dozen job interviews and getting nowhere. If that had been going on while she was pregnant I would've been doing my pieces. There was no guarantee of work where I was going to, even harder than down here in London. All that is contributing to terrible depression right now and I would have loved to have known the truth about my past, so I could've maybe set a plan in motion for children and prevented it from happening.
Sorry to hear that!!!...and yes indeed it must be hard on men too...sometimes, the same symptoms appear on both men and women, for instance rejecting other children or simply not being able to see them cause it hurts too much, irritability, being sad too frequently, amongst many other!!
I am truely sorry to hear you pain, we do make dessecions that will make us feel bad, but the courage is actually making that final choice, on both sides and sometimes both are not in sync to acceppting the pregnancy and I would agree that for a man it is harder because the have no real say in the actions of the mother to be. But I speak from experience. I would most probably have had 8 children if not of miscarridges and 2 abortions and 3 miscarridges. But i personally would not abort and would used it as the last resort. the man I was with was not supportive and did not want to father children with me. I know my story is not uplifting but may give you insight for the future. And yes abortion can be a cause of depression, especially if you feel guilty xxx
Ive heard that many many couples split after an abortion, they cannot bear to be together anymore as they are both a reminder of the terrible thing that took place. It must be real hard, and all though there were many other issues, such as the economical part, still the abortion must have been something too heave to lift. So i've seen many couples simply split with time after having made this decision. It's been almost a year already and I still grief for the baby that i've lost, and although I know that I will never forget him, I choose to learn from that experience, in my case PERSONALLY embrace life, protect life and love life in all it's expressions, from the first day of conception until the very last day of natural death. So lear from it, forgive yourself and be a better person.
Hello BOB here
Yes depression can set in. Hormones are flooding your system as the body was preparing for the birth
If possible both of you now need talking therapy to come to terms with your loss.
You have people here who will help and listen, so do not become a stranger to them.
One other thing, be kind to yourselves
BOB
I think that the post abortion symptoms are many, and it is possible to "treat" it or "heal" it, but it a process in which you need to open that wound, face that pain, forgive all the people who told you that abortion was the "easy way out", write the name of your unborn child in a piece of paper...cause thats one of the hardest things, you don't have a physical place where to cry to that child, you don't burry him/her, and so you don't live that step that is so very necessary for us humans to keep on going in life!!
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