Ive never joined a group like this and Iam not one to talk to people about how i feel but lately ive found it harder and harder to control the way i feel.
I have theses periods were i feel "good" i suppose you can call it, fallowed by periods of darkness were i feel down and when its bad i feel like doing things to my self (one such period iI pored hot glue on the parm of my hand and watched it burn)
I typing this is suppose because i feel as dark time is on me, I was watching Russell Howard tonight on the its not all doom and gloom i bust into tears for 2 hours ive never cryed like that even when my dog and dad died.
How long have you been feeling this way? The good thing is that you have opened up about how you're feeling, which is a big first step. It never is easy to talk or express your feelings to others, so its a good start that you have.
Firstly, do you have anyone close to you like a relation or friend you can talk to? Also, I would honestly suggest you try and make an appointment with the doctor to discuss things. It does sound like you could be going through some form of depression, but we are not medical professionals, but are here to support each other through the tough times we have with this awful illness. And yes it is an illness, its just that it is not a physical recognisable one like a broken arm or leg etc., but you would seek professional help with that and in that case you should do the same with this illness.
The fact that you mention that you have thoughts of harming yourself is also a sign that you could be depressed.
Please if you can, try and phone up your doctor today and get an appointment to discuss how you feel. He/she can help you and advise you on the best course of action for you.
In the meantime, whenever you feel the need to talk or rant then do not hesitate to post on here. I have found this site a great help, just being able to have that rant to others who know how you feel really can help!
I wish you all the best, but please let your doctor know about this, remember that's what he/she is there for.
Yes well done for posting. We're here to help. Its a good idea that you contact your GP and tell them how you've been feeling. I know that can be hard, but its nothing to be ashamed about, and there are treatments that can definitely help. I hope you will keep posting.
Hi Thomas. Well done for taking that first step into sharing how you feel.
Like you , I find it tough to talk and share my feelings but the support form strangers on this site can really help.
We all struggle at times with mood swings, anxiety or depression, or all of them, sharing does help.
Here, we understand how you feel and also understand the need for acceptance by others that those emotions are worrying and difficult to live with.
Do talk with your doctor, if you can also share your worries with a trusted friend, teacher or colleague. Isolation only makes me dwell on my negativity more.
One thing that I keep telling myself which seems to help. "This low mood will pass. It is only flawed thinking and I know I will feel better in a few minutes/hours/tomorrow/soon."
It is a little like a nightmare, it is not real and it will pass.
Hang on to the good times. That is you at your best and recalling them can help keep you positive.
I guess we all have times that are rosy and times that are bleak. Our moods are so ephemeral, sometimes. Its like blowing bubbles and chasing them. The rosy ones are always the quickest to burst while the bleak ones seem to last forever but they don't. They always burst too, eventually, making it possible to catch the rosiness of the next ephemeral, fleeting bubble, balance it gently on our fingertips and appreciate it wholeheartedly before it bursts. I think what I'm trying to say hear is, Without the bad times it would n't be possible to have good ones. Hope you have lots of good ones soon. I'm sure you will.
Whatever is happening there is definitely something wrong. Your GP would be a good place to start - probably best to ask for a double appointment as that means that the GP will be less rushed - you can explain some details to the receptionist when you book - that you have been feeling low on and off for a while and that you have harmed yourself and have thoughts of self harm - please try not to worry about being judged as it should just be about your medical needs.
There are lots of things that can cause depression and are relatively easy to treat so if nothing else it would be good to have a blood test to check for things like anaemia and thyroid problems.
Ive been going though this since my teens my mother had said that when i was 12, i spent 4 mounts lied on the floor in the livening room and my parents worried to the extent that they wouldn't let me listen to music or watch tv, on my own in case it made me suicidal.
@pjNUN I know what you mean about Without the bad times it would n't be possible to have good ones and i have to say have you ever tried to describe the colour red to some one who as been blind since birth.
Thats how i feel about good times. not sure ive ever been there i dount mean to sound like an ass but i feel as my good points are slightly better then my bad times.
I feel a strong affinity to this post. I also struggle to control how I feel, and I a lot of the time I really can't. I find this really, really scary. I start crying about things I really shouldn't be crying about. I avoid watching most TV now for fear of crying. I feel quite similar to you following these outbursts of tears. I feel lost, empty, lonely and scared. I don't know what to do with myself. I would advise you to temporarily avoid things that make you feel low and try to surround yourself with positive things. However, unfortunately life isn't like that and there will be times where your swamped with painful circumstances, so just trying to control your environment won't fix it. I only recently came to terms with this and accepted a guiding hand to direct me to seek help. Hope you feel more balanced soon xx
well Ive just come off a "down" period and i feel grate i do have a list of films i will never watch again ever. I own them as a reminder of how they make me feel.
The thing I did do is take up meditation when i feel bad and that takes me to my warm happy place inside, well that and the doctors help of coarse.
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