The Blues

[Jeffju]

Ooh I have the blues today, everything seems a little overwhelming and am very tearful. We are thinking of moving to another town and I really am not sure if I want to go. We have lived here for a long time and have lots of friends and support here. The move is really to get us nearer to our daughters who live 5 hours drive away. What to do ??? Get over this latest blues session and start to think rationally again, I think. I have been doing so well lately too. Damn depression !!!

[Suzie40]

Do you know, I really get what you're saying. I'm feeling lately that however hard I try to live a normal life, depression creeps up and bites me on the backside. I feel like I can't run fast enough to escape it. Moving towns is a massive thing to do. God I would have meltdown if I had to move to the house next door! Being closer to your children would be so exciting, but I don't know whether it would be outweighed by a possible downward spiral in your depression. How much do you rely on the support of people local to you where you live? X

[Jeffju]

Thanks for your reply. Yes, we have lots of people here who have been very supportive to me with my issues and my husband with his heart problems. It is a very small town with lots of kind people and we have been here for 37 years !!! Today was just too overwhelming in lots of ways. I also don't know if my two girls realise fully what a big thing moving would be for me. Lots of things to ponder over and think about. Thanks again.

[Hidden]

Hi, I'm not surprised it is all feeling a bit much - 37 years is a long time and although the idea of living near your daughters may feel good it is also a HUGE shift, presumably you are a similar age to me - I'm 63. Of course there is a lot to think about and the main thing is whether you feel up to leaving friends behind and focussing your life upon your daughters - there are pros and cons of course but it is important to think about whether you both feel up to making new friends because there could be nothing worse than moving to be near your daughters and then feeling disappointed by not seeing enough of them and not making new friends. It may be a great move and you may find it exciting and make a lot of new friends but leaving friends and familiar places isn't always the right thing so do think what you want. Also does your husband really want to move? I'm asking in case you are being persuaded by your daughters because in the long term moving could lead to resentment and problems between you if it does not work out, so there IS a lot to consider before making the decision - and that's apart from the actual move and creating a new life.

I do hope you both come to the right decision for the two of you.

Suexx

[Jeffju]

Thanks so much for your reply. It all has to be weighed up really and what is best for us.... and that may not be what the girls want. But I don't want to get sick again by getting stressed out over this. At the moment, my husband's heaalth has to get sorted out... pacemaker to be fitted soon... so no moves until theen, if at all. The girls will just have to respect our decision, whatever that may be. Thanks again for your help and insight.

[Hidden in reply to Jeffju]

Hi, Yes I agree absolutely, it often isn't a good idea to move far away in older age because it takes such a lot of effort to establish a new life - believe me I know, I've lived in our current address for years but still haven't made friends the way I did when the children were around and I was doing courses and similar. It's difficult to make a life and people of a similar life already have their own lives well established.

I do hope you get your husband's health sorted. I think you are very wise not to be thinking about moving at such a time, you need your local supports and familiar medics, places, etc. We are also coping with my husband's end stage renal failure and find that difficult but at least do know the unit and nurses, etc.

Suexxx

[Jeffju]

Yes, that's it. When we are needing serious medical help being in familiar hands is comforting and also having the support of friends here is also great. Am trying not to stress too much about it..... has spoilt my weekend really..... but we have to do what's best for us. Thanks for your reply. xx

[Suzie40]

How are you doing today? X

[Jeffju]

Bit better today, not tearful and not being so anxious about it all. Thank you so very much for your care and support. xx