Hi, I'm 53 and have been married to a wonderful woman for 30 years. For most of that time I have had recurring yearnings for her to sleep with either another man, a woman, or a couple. She's not interested and fair enough, but in recent years my desire for this has intensified to the point now that it is obsessive. It affects me both in and out of the bedroom as I cant get the weird kink out of my head! I have been working at improving my input into our marriage, and this fetish of mine is now a problem. She doesn't want to hear or talk about it again which I understand as I nagged her about it in the past to my shame. I need to clear it from my psyche and engage with her normally. Anyone have any tips on resetting sexual proclivities?
How do I stop craving my wife being pro... - Men's Health Forum
How do I stop craving my wife being promiscuous
maybe a sex therapist?
Thanks London. I am aware of the therapy route, but I'd hate paying some woke youngster to read all the things I've tried already out of their textbook. What I'm looking for is some village wisdom. Someone who has broken themselves out of a mindset. A disruptor technique. It could be a weightloss trick, stop smoking method, anything that breaks a recurring obsessive desire.
Hypnotherapy… but I sense you don’t like the word therapy as you equate that to wokeness potentially. Good luck.
Why a “woke youngster”? Perhaps the sexual thing is not your only problem. A number of sex therapists are not that young.
Yup therapy mate. Chances of it being a woke youngster will be zero, it'll quite possibly be someone older than you. But given Mrs Matt isn't keen on the idea and YOU want to stop thinking about it,it's probably your best route out of it. Best of luck.
Thanks Brambles mum.
It sounds like you want to stop thinking about it so perhaps couples therapy and/or sex therapy. Although you'd have t be receptive to hearing the suggestions and trying them. I feel like your wife might benefit from being part of the process so she can heal from your coercion in case she has some emotional scars from it.
Thanks Ipnh, therapy seems the common theme here. I have done quite a bit of research over the years, and this 'cuck' attraction I have appears to be a common inbuilt, hardwired sexual disposition. As in other sexual cores like homo or bi sexuality, it can't be changed through therapy. A therapist can offer mitigation techniques like communication, compromise, fantasy and masturbation satiation, roleplay, good diet and exercise, mindfulness or marrital negotiation, but I feel that I already have most of those tools, and they are all exhausted. What they can't offer, as it violates the principles of their ethical code, is the unicorn I am hunting; orientation conversion. At the end of the day, I'm generally very happy in marriage to my wonderful partner, and as omniscient already alluded this is a me problem, so if suppression is my only course forward then so be it. I guess it's human nature to seek a magic bullet to our problems, while reality has other ideas...
I have yet to see any published clinical or psycho-social research that would put the cuckold fetish on a par with sexual orientation. The immediate problem to your theory is that to live out your fetish involved you doing nothing your wife would be the active partner!!!
Who you will consult and what they will offer by way of treatment will never be known on less or until you seek treatment. I just hope that your unguided suppression does not end up affecting your wife negatively.
The brain can't function in a vacuum. The more you concentrate on not having intrusive thoughts the more present they are likely to become. You'll need to replace the unwanted idea with a healthy desire. Then the more you focus on the new vision, the more dominant it. can become. eg forget the pink elephant by visualising the blue dolphin.
Good advice, thanks Bexyboy. I'm going to reflect on that concept.
Hey FYI Bexy. I have spent the last week intensively trading equities. I now wake in the wee small hours with my head full of trade ratios, not my old obsession. Good tip, good results so far. Thanks Bexy Boy.
Glad to have helped!
Circumcision orders and snip by wife and doctor 
Guys help what do I do?
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