Being “Me” • Emotional & Mental Health • Mid-Life Crises

[GENTLEMAN-2601_AT_YS]

Where do I start. I am 54. I love my parents very much.

For 31 years my mum (and dad on occasion) have tried their best for me to be that figure of a man: knight in shining armour type of gentleman. I am a gentleman passively because that is my nature, but mum had always told me that I SHOULD take it on. “When in Rome, do as the Romans do”, she would always say to me. I used to reply, “But I am me. It’s not necessarily what I would do”. I have felt so submissive with all this despite me working for a living, being a good father (my young adults tell me), and a fully executed house person with good friends, and I play keyboards for a jazz band. I am no couch potato, I prefer to be out there and growing.

I have been married and divorced (2008) and I since had a girlfriend who, once she left, said, “I know who I am”. This now ex-girlfriend seemed to indicate that I wasn’t so good for her in those private moments! This got me into despair and feeling low. I still carry on living but I cannot see further in my future than a few feet! I feel so constantly hurt that me as a man isn’t good enough and I am trying to find any one who can help. I have had moments that I just want to end the pain whilst I have been crying uncontrollably because of the way that I feel. I have also found a spiritual route with people on YouTube etc, e.g. Eckhart Tolle.

In my time, I have already had councelling, C.B.T., and have read most/all the self-help book classics.

I found the Men’s Health website and read through the symptoms of mid-life crises and I seem to match what I read, especially the low testosterone levels, which might match my ex-girlfriends comments!

I want to move on and grow “me” in my next chapter and to feel that I am worth something to someone somewhere, in patient time. Some of you reading this might say this is not for this forum, but I believe that it is, since I am talking about men’s emotional health and this is surely linked with levels of testosterone, mid-life crises etc. which is part of what I want to sort out and feel self-empowered again.

Many thanks in advance.

[Hidden]

If you think your testosterone levels might be too low for your age - they do vary with age - a good starting point would be to pu that possibility to your doctor and ask for your levels to be tested.

[GENTLEMAN-2601_AT_YS in reply to Hidden]

Osidge,

Many thanks for that.

I was thinking about that. I will do that once I get better feedback from other men on this forum so I can know better what other health problems that I could be having since my problems are also emotional and there could be a connection.