Men's Health Forum
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Need sum guy support

Alright guys, im toby. I dont usually talk bout my feelings so sorry if i stumble a bit. I used to play sports, outdoor recreational activities, hangin with mates, passionate bout cars, gadgets, trainers lol, always the strong one which people turned to in times of need, but in the last couple of years have only done a fraction of all of it. Losin mum to cancer nov'12 & me diagnosed nov'13 has left me a shadow of my former self. I miss the physical activity, the socialising and my work due to anxiety but mainly depression. This isnt a pity party as there r people who've had it 10 times worse than me. I just want the OLD me back but i cant get out of this rut. Thanx for taking the time to read this and hopefully get a bit of advice. Toby.

7 Replies

Sorry to hear your news, but what is the outlook for your illness?

If there is prospects of a cure the there are also prospects of getting the old you back


outlook on cancer is good. fingers crossed im cancer free but im still just over 2 years in to remission.


Hi Toby,

I know what it's like to have depression and anxiety, I have been there and come out the other side. I am struggling a bit at the moment as I have had a low grade tumour removed from my bladder, the prognosis is good, but still I can be anxious at times. I know it is hard to be motivated but if you can do moderate exercise this does help. Medication does help but I know with me it makes me feel worse before I feel better. Please remember it may not seem like it but you are not by yourself. Best regards.



cheers man. cancers not the prob. the prob is with me im afraid.


Toby, I myself have mets to the lungs. I had it in my humerus 2010, had my shoulder and humerus replaced 2011.

My cancer came back in 2013, spreading to my lungs. It's incurable now. They can treat but ok still quite "healthy"

Know what? I'm fitter now than I have ever been man! I joined the gym 2013, lost 9stone and enjoy running and hitting the gym daily!

Know that, it's easy to sit back and not want to do anything. It's expected in fact! It's shit, bluntly. BUT: you can get back to the gym. Start just doing a little. You'll get into it in no time.

Those passions you had.. you still have. Reignite them my man! It's all inside of you!

Also: learn to laugh at everything! Literally everything! Even your situation! I don't mean to trivialise it.. but if you can find some humour in it you might find it helpful? Example: I once joked "you know, first diagnosis I had 1 tumour, when it came back I had 3.. how odd!" - if it's not for you, don't.. but it helped me a lot buddy.

I'm laid back with it though, I figure if I just keep up with my daily routines then I forget about everything else.

I wish you the best buddy


cheers bud. believe it or not,wen i had cancer n chemo, i actually carried on a normal life. i wasnt gona play the cancer or chemo guy. its strange that wen the major stresses r gone, my mental health falls.


It's a lot more common than you think buddy. I struggled during chemo to carry on like normal. It hit me crazy hard. Apparently the nurses claimed I was on one of the toughest regimens they knew of. .. was fine mentally though. After it was all done though.. unnoticed my mental and emotional health and well being were incredibly fragile. I once walked into work and burst into tears. Took me a few weeks to get over it! It still happens now, almost 3 years from last chemo! Did you not get any contact with Macmillan? They have people who're there to support you with post effects mate! You're not alone and it's absolutely normal to be fragile! Ironically; it takes a lot of strength to admit you're struggling!


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