Major Depression

[Monkey55-]

Hi this is Cheryl have been dealing with Major Depression for about twenty years. On and off medication. Married have four grown children. Have had bladder cancer in 2023. But it was non invasive. Have regular checkups for it. Also have MGUS. I am a christian with a very strong faith. I also have anxiety. Which can get really bad at times. Thank You

[Windsorgardener5087]

Hi and welcome to your forum.This is a safe place for venting or contributing your lived experiences.

If you have talent for drawing, writing poetry or come across a great article, you can post here too.

I acknowledge the link between physical health issues and our mental health. I have developed w-AIHA over Christmas so coming to terms with treatment and long term care of myself.

[Cookie2217]

Hi Monkey 55 and welcome to the group. I hope you find it helpful for you and it relieves some of your depression and anxiety like you I've been on multiple medications and I am now on Prozac 40 mg hoping desperately that it helps me. In 2023 I had a great counselor Dr Nover but I moved and he didn't practice in the area so it ended. It was also extremely expensive at $250 an hour which I really couldn't afford either however during that time I made a lot of progress but I've just fallen back into my old ways. There are days weeks that I go from the bed to the recliner back to the bed and do nothing all day and night I don't even get up to strain to go to work either which is a problem and now we are facing issues with paying the rent. My husband God bless them is really supportive and tries to understand as best he could and it was his birthday 2 days ago and I couldn't even get up for that. I feel like such a loser I mean I love him so very much why couldn't I just get beyond the damn depression and do something for somebody else. A few weeks ago we had an event to go to which was very important and I didn't go to that either and left him to go by himself he said everybody was asking for me and he had a go and be live on our radio station for hours all by himself that wasn't fair either and what did I do lay in bed all day doing nothing just wasting away. I think it's time that I stop letting this depression deprive me of things time I can spend with my husband and Friends that would be enjoyable if I just could get over the hump of getting up and going. I didn't go to that event because I was nervous about getting ready to go which is ridiculous pretty much but I guess it was anxiety it was just an overwhelming feeling. When I get into my really bad depression I withdraw from everyone and everything and just sit in a dark room with the lights off all day and night trying to sleep it's like I'm dead or maybe I'm trying to be dead who knows the whole thing is depressing. It makes me sick to see just how much time I've wasted so far and I know others tell me to be gentle with myself but I think that at this point I'm going to have to get pissed at the depression and not let it take one more second from me I'm strong right now but what will tomorrow bring? Lord help me. I'm glad that you have strong faith that can carry you a long way especially in a depression. Wishing you peace and well-being during your journey here. I like journaling and getting those depressive feelings out in the open and I also do a breathing exercise call the 567 method where I breathe in for 5 seconds hold it for 6 seconds and then breathe it out slowly for 7 seconds and it helps calm your nerves if needed.

[Monkey55- in reply to Cookie2217]

Thank You so much Cookie2217 I completely understand what you are going through my husband doesn't understand but I know he is kinda trying. It's been very frustrating for him. It's been very hard on my family and grandkids. Because I took myself on and off of meds. Not doing that any more without the help of my psychiatric nurse practitioner, It's just very hard with all my anxiety and switching meds. Hope and Pray I see a improvement soon. Thanks again and I will be praying for you please keep me updated. love and prayers.

[Cookie2217 in reply to Monkey55-]

Thanks for the positivity Monkey 55. I think it helps to know people here get it totally like nobody else can because they don't suffer from it like we do you know what I'm saying. Nobody intentionally lays in a bed all day and night doing nothing in the dark all by themselves for fun. Depression is such a debilitating disease and it takes so much from you your heart your soul your desires your wants your needs your zest for life and most especially time that you could be spending with loved ones to be cherished. I've decided I'm going to get ticked off at depression now and not stand for it one minute longer and when I want to give up and give in peel myself out of that bed no matter how hard my head tries to tell me to withdraw get to get up and go and do something. It's just so hard sometimes I know you know how I feel.

[Monkey55- in reply to Cookie2217]

I really know exactly where you’re at. I have a problem with looking all my symptoms up online which is very bad. I am really trying to give it all to Jesus he wants us to do that. Many scripture s on that. I just have to put into action. My therapist is really awesome I see her every two weeks. Pray we start seeing results. Love and Prayers ❤️🙏