Depression and divorce

[BananaNana69]

I’ve had depression for as long as I remember, but I am also a people pleaser. I developed that in order to survive my childhood.

Fast forward to 1993. I met a man who I felt loved me. He was funny, affectionate and wanted me sexually.

I felt safe, I felt important.

We were married in 1995.

I worked, but he was the major breadwinner. I took care of the house, the shopping, his kids and my daughter while still working. Then I took care of his grandmother until she died. Lots of meals, driving and cleaning.

The house is old, I painted it inside and out. The outside twice. Idid all the gardening.

I had to pull back from work as the domestic needs increased and started including grandchildren.

He was emotionally non verbal but I believed he tried to make up for it by letting me have a horse and agreeing to some trips.

Once when I admitted to him that I was depressed and struggling, he said, “Do what you have to do, we have good insurance.” That was the extent of his emotional support.

I accepted it.

30 years down the road, after covid, I could no longer keep up with his Bipolar hypersexuality. I tried but just couldn’t do it everyday.

He started sneaking across the driveway and was having sex with our 33 years old tenant.

I am sure she saw it as an opportunity for a more spacious and comfortable life.

I caught them and ended up in a rental we had that was bought as a long term investment and an inheritance for my daughter.

He has now filed for divorce-(I think she’s pregnant.)

I am terrified that he wants to take more from me than he already has.

I just need to vent.

Our oldest grandchild is autistic and lives with me.

The rest of the grandkids don’t want to be around him anymore and prefer to be with me.

I think he also resents that.

All I am seeking is some peace of mind and security.

Thanks for reading

[blackcat64013]

Thank you for your post. You're welcome to vent here as often as you need to. Sometimes putting it all in writing in a safe place can be a huge emotional relief.

A divorce is a huge life step. It seems like there is a need to get yourself a good lawyer to protect everything you have worked so hard for.

[BananaNana69 in reply to blackcat64013]

Tjanks, O

I do have one, will meet with her next week.

[BananaNana69 in reply to BananaNana69]

Thanks