For last seven years started depression spiral downward. Real bad now. I wish every thing would end already.Lost everyone all headed for the hills. I keep asking God to take me already. Im so tired of depression and anger. My gut hurts my joints hurt all i have is emotional and physical pain.
A cycle i cant seem to break.
Things will get better! Don't worry.
I understand depression is debilitating.On some days I also feel very bad. I think if you talk to someone you will feel better. Try doing cycling or running it helps
I wish I could give you my psychologist. He is helping with my trauma memories. One source is almost shut down. Can you ask your psych for trauma therapy? If they can't do it, get them to refer you. Some relief is better than no relief.
I have been and in a depressive episode for The Last 5 Years. Longest bout of my entire life it started before covid. In the midst of all that I lost my job and then my place to live and my husband and I had to move in temporarily with my sister and we lived in her basement for about 7 months. It was absolutely awful she treated us like garbage and when I was down and out and needed her she did nothing but belittle me and acted like she was my mother. My paper went to live there which was mutually agreed upon and she felt the need when we were at home to come down and snoop through our things. It was an awful experience. We now have our own apartment thank God I would never move in with family ever again. It was awful. I'm diagnosed with major depressive disorder PTSD and adjustment disorder. I did have an excellent therapist but it $250 an hour that was short-lived. I'm on 40 mg of Prozac and 10 mg of Abilify and hoping to God I get out of this depressive state that I'm in it's just all too much. They just up to my dosage of Prozac and I feel a little better today so I'm hopeful. Maybe I have treatment resistant depression not sure but I've been on several meds and none of them seem to work.
I've faced same with my family. Holier than thou hippocrits. Psych system complete disaster. Sorry I ever went to it for help.
Melancholic Depression
How to get my motivation back?
I'm Tired of Being a Loser 
new to forum; lifetime member of MDD
