Today has been a struggle

[JumanjiBerry]

Hello all; I am Brad, and I have been struggling with my depression today because I feel a lack of motivation to engage in my hobbies and interests or otherwise do anything productive. I feel that my parents are not helping right now. I do have therapy later this evening, so hopefully that helps. Thank you all for listening, and I would appreciate any support that you are able to offer.

[BaronFrankenstein]

Do you keep a mood diary? I use an app called Daylio and not only do i record my moods but i also mainly use it to keep a record of things ive done, with pictures, its also allows you to record audio notes. Even if its just that i got up at a certain time, took my meds, made a decent meal or watched a film. That way you can see that you are actually acheiving something even if it is routine and mundane.Ive been suffering with bouts of depression for about 14 years but i find offloading all my thoughts and feelings (or lack of them) into my Daylio dairy helps lighten the load off my mind so i can actually turn it to doing something else, even if just for a little while, like having a play on the guitar, playing retro arcade games, doing a tiny bit of tidying up.

Babysteps basically. Like breaking down a big problem into lots of smaller manageable bits. My late mother always used to say "Do a bit, rest a bit". She had emphysema but still liked to keep busy all day so she made it manageable by breaking chores up with lots of micro breaks.

Ive been keeping a daily mood diary since 2018 and its been helpful to me to put things in perspective because i can look back on a day and see that yes, i have actually done something productive, the small things like eating, having a shower or getting a haircut.

Its all too easy to discount these things as not being of any importance because they are routine, but they do have value. Once you can see that you are actually doing something like that, then i find i can build on it doing other little tasks, small household chores intercut with playing a game, reading or doing some study.

[BaronFrankenstein]

Since going back to work after my heart attack im struggling with motivation again myself.

Paradoxically when i was off sick for 4 months I eventually felt that I hadnt felt so good mentally for years! I was getting great sleep, exercising, lost weight, was full of motivation, ideas, doing art, DIY.

I even did a short course and exam and got an electrical qualification id been after for years. Id got plans and dreams and hopes again.

After 3 months of being back at work, here i am feeling tired, low motivation, low energy, back to writing essays in my mood diary about how crap my job is making me feel. But im reframing that because im using that as motivation to find another job.

I never learned to drive so im also going to start driving lessons next week and do an intensive course to get my licence. Being able to drive will give me access to other jobs that are currently too far away or require site visits, i.e. as a mobile maintenance man.

It will also allow me to go on holiday or walks to places not accessible by public transport outside of work for leisure. And to go see my dad and sister more often and other friends.

I dont know about you but i only have a small group of real friends and i simply dont get to see them often enough. Its important you keep in touch and see them even if its only every 2 or 3 weeks. Try not to spend too much time on your own. Im trying to find new friends through exercise, hobby and volunteer groups. Im talking about meeting people in person rather than just online involvement.

[BaronFrankenstein]

Keep toxic people at a distance if you can. This can be hard if theyre your boss, work colleagues or family. Dont let the energy vampires (or Mood Hoovers as my friend calls them) sap your energy and optimism when you have it.

Limit your time on social media and try and avoid doom scrolling. That can be toxic to you too. I came off Facebook and Twitter entirely as i found i was spending most of my time on their posting status updates and arguing with people who didnt actually give a toss what I had to say in reality. I lost friends too getting carried away as a keyboard warrior. Its all too easy to get overconfident and cocky hiding behind your online persona.

There are some really horrible people on social media and unless you strictly limit and filter content you are exposed to negativity every day and can end up obsessed with it and do yourself and others harm without realising it. When i was depressed i used to take it out on other people online in chat groups. It turned me into a bully to be honest. Thats why i came off it. I kept messenger to keep in touch with a select number of people but apart from that i have no social media and feel better for it.

Substitute Daylio for your social media posts. People forget that they are entitled to a private life and dont have to share every aspect of their daily lives online.

[BaronFrankenstein]

Back before smartphones and Facebook for instance, you wouldn't phone every single person in your contacts or call random phone numbers of strangers to tell them you just had a nice meal, are watching TV, doing some shopping, having a walk, gone to the toilet, had an argument etc.

Or take a photo of a funny cat with a camera, print out 100 pictures and then mail them them in the post to everyone you knew and random strangers addresses

People dont realise how unnaturally social media has conditioned them to behave. Yeah, some people argue its the new norm, but just because something serms to be the norm doesnt mean its necessarily healthy or good for you or others around you. I am talking from experience as i got addicted and it started to ruin my mental health and relationship with my wife, family and friends.

I think its worrying when you are on a bus, train or even in a cinema or theatre or restaurant, how many people are together as couples or groups, but one or more are on their phones rather than talking to each other. It not only seems weird, its rude and insulting I think. Especialky if theyre flicking through Tok Tok or FB vids without headphones on. Really irritating.

I can understand if you are on your own, but even then whats wrong with starting a a conversation with another human being. They could be really interesting and maybe even say something inspirational you dont know. Ive done this and unexpectedly had some really good conversations.

[BaronFrankenstein]

I think in summary:

Reduce social media time and limit negative people and content. No doom scrolling! Monitor your screen time youll be surprised how much time youre wasting on your phone a day, i was.

Get yourself Daylio to record what you are doing and offload negative thoughts. Look at articles on Positive News Network instead.

Stay in touch with real friends, even if its only 2 or 3, that make you feel good to talk to and be with.

Stay away from Mood Hoovers, energy vampires if you can. That applies to online as well. Dont let strangers or even so called friends bring you down.

Try to get quality, unbroken sleep. This is what screws me up the most. I need at least 6 hours unbroken sleep every night to feel normal. I use earplugs and an eye shade to block out light and noise.

Babysteps. Just do lits of little things each day, break it down and record what you have acheived not what you havent done.

Sorry this post is so long, hence multiple replies but i hope theres something you can take away from it.