new here

[blueberrymoons]

Hi, I just joined this group today to find posts I could relate to and feel less alone. I have been struggling with pretty severe anxiety and depression for years now, I have consistently been in therapy and on meds but I still fall into these slumps that I have to climb my way out of. It's frustrating because I feel like I've been reaching out for help for so long and nothing can really help me, I don't feel like I remember what it's like to not be depressed anymore. Anyways, my depression is especially bad right now and I'm in college just trying to pass my classes this semester. Right now I'm trying to write an essay but every time I look at the assignment I just start crying and hating that I can't just do it. I've been here many times before but can usually somehow power through and trudge along but for some reason, this time is much harder. School seems so unimportant when I'm this depressed and just want to disappear, but if I fail my classes it will just make things worse. I thought I'd write a post instead of continuing to cry at my computer. I just hate that if I don't want to take a medical leave of absence, I have to meet the same expectations that I would if I wasn't struggling so much to just get out of bed every day.