I don't know what to do anymore, I keep talking about myself while other people are in need, and when I try to help I fk it all up. I don't know how to step away I'm sorry. I even cut again and now I don't think anyone will live a fuckin 27 year old man who cuts himself who hasn't been to war, and tries to work but crys too easily. I hate myself. I don't know what to do anymore. I wouldn't hurt my family trying suicide again, so it hurts.I seem to like people so much more than myself, and I'm just trying to make people like me
I hate myself for being depressed - Major Depressive ...
I hate myself for being depressed
hi. Suicide does mean hurting the people we love and causing them to feel the pain and depression and it sounds like you don’t want that so this is good. Though it sounds like your struggle is too much and you need something to quiet your brain. I hope medication can help you.
I do wonder why you want people to like you so much. At my age you get to a point where you just don’t care lol. People can be a lot of work I spend a lot of time alone and I’ve learned to be ok with that.
I do hope you feel even a bit better soon.
M also going through hell from depression attempted suicide 2 but fail.i also can't go ahead thinking of the pain I would cause them because I just lost my brother in 2021 and since then I also got into it.
Oh please, everyone here, read and understand what I have to say that no one seems to understand. Please, know that I took an in the same situation, but for one difference.
When I read your post, what I see as obvious is:
You leave yourself out as the most important person who needs help and compassion. The reason you are the most important is because YOU are the only one YOU can actually help!
But, you have allowed yourself to be fooled by depression into believing YOU ARE NOT WORTHY, that you are the reason for all your problems, and that you are too selfish to think you deserve to care about yourself, certainly not to think anyone else should care about you.
Right there is the problem, the lie that you repeat to yourself.
I will say to this: Knock that shit off!
I had to learn early on NOT to partner with my depression in dragging me down with it.
The truth is:
You , nobody, can help anybody, when they don't have anything left to offer anyone.
That's why, like the flight attendant and the oxygen masks, you MUST put your own on first.
So, you MUST tend to your own needs first, if you are ever to have anything to offer anyone else!
You would be surprised how deeply this affects what you believe about yourself, what you assume others believe about you, what it means when you see yourself as defective. It only drags you deeper and deeper into despair and self loathing that explains the need to cut, nor punish yourself for what you have allowed yourself to believe you deserve.
Please know what I'm saying is the truth.
Throughout my life, those thoughts continue to enter, like when I feel the "sense of impending doom", my mind immediately complies in telling me "it's even worse than you thought!"
And I pause, and then thank those impish voices from helping to send me into full blown panic😅 and then excuse them from the dialog in my head.
So, im telling you:
It's time to excuse the voices that state "you are the problem, you are the broken one, the one who is defective and so the source of problems. You are not worthy of love, or of your own time and attention, and it's selfish to think about yourself."
Those are the lies that cause ALL of your problems to get worse, never better.
Let go of those lies. Practice reminding yourself that they are classic symptoms of depressions power to destroy you with negative self talk. There is enough of that in the world, and depression feeds on these negative beliefs..
As you practice, even when you don't fully believe you are worthy of the effort, try to do things that may feel selfish, but in fact are not.
Practice putting your own oxygen mask on first, understanding that you certainly cannot help anyone else if you don't.
Stop hating yourself. Stop it. Don't hate anyone who is struggling to live, especially yourself. I refuse to let you destroy yourself with your self-loathing. Listen to me! Start giving yourself the the love and support and gentle kindness you need to get better. Then you can be an asset to others who need that from you. But you have nothing to offer until you offer yourself what you need to heal, strengthen and recover yourself. ❤️
You are your worst critic. You're the only one who "gets" to sit inside your head all day and really absorb everything happening in there. Similarly, everybody else is the same way. Everybody is hard on themselves, and most of us are hard on ourselves pretty frequently, I'd wager. Self-compassion isn't exactly taught to us by our parents (for the most part).
Wherever you can, cut yourself some slack...reality is relative and just because you haven't been in active combat or survived a terrible hurricane or something doesn't mean your problems aren't real, and horrible, and valid