I got caught up in shopping online starting on Black Friday. I was consumed in shopping so I could push down the lump of depression. Alone and depressed on the holidays again. I didn't have money to spend and it actually made the depression worse. I have been returning what I can.
The night after Christmas I woke up choking on stomach acid. It was scary, coughing and gasping grabbing my inhalers and oxygen trying not to pass out. My lungs hurt, my throat hurt, my chest hurt and back hurt. I got an appointment with my doctor because my lungs were still really hurting a few days later. The stomach acid caused an infection in my lungs. December 29th.
I left my house once a week later to pick up some prescriptions and came home with Covid. I left my house once in 2024
I have my spending under control- I've only purchased a lava lamp for my lava lamp garden. My therapist set fourth a challenge of not spending money on unnecessary things to self medicate for that short shopping high. No problem because I need a new to me stove.
I am sorry for rambling on. I am on a lot of medications, still fighting bronchitis. I miss going to work. Scared of losing my job, scared of permanent damage to my lungs, tired of the loneliness.
