I'm not sure I fully understand this place or if I will ever continue with it. I just took a test that told me I was severely depressed and had severe anxiety and recommended me this place and I thought, eh, why not?
I am just tired.
Tired of failing, tired of feeling inadequate. Tired of feeling that the world is too large for me. That life is too big for me, and that I'm not up for it. That I can't deal with its challenges.
Its not that I dont want to live or that I'm ungrateful of what I have, of life itself. (Hell, I'm terrified of Death). But I just feel that if life was a test, I would fail it. And failing at life... tends to be extremely punishing. Not only I fear been thrown to the streets and loose all I care for, I feel constantly I'm disappointing everyone around me. Their worry feels like yet another failure in my end.
The world is so beautiful and yet so unforgiving. I dont believe in God because what kind of Sadist would have designed a universe that functions on success alone and punishes by death all those who are not up to it.
I'm not up to it. I'm in the loosing batch and I feel like I will loose it all I love, everyone I love they will just die and become lost, and then I will die, and I'll just not exist anymore, not even memories or thoughts to treassure, not even a sense of self gone into nothingness.
All I care for will just banish on the unforgiving loop of time.
Written by
WorldsTooBigForMe
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Welcome to the community! All of us to some extent are healing from Mental problems, You won't be alone here. We are very supportive.
Don't be worried about not believing in a Divine being, We are all faiths and none here; although some folk may try to preach. Just report them.
We are also a worldwide Community, I'm on GMT, for instance, Basically I'm in Britain, so there are folks around almost all hours of the day and night.
Hi! Yeah, I imagine some people could be predatorily preaching here. I'm just not sure how to engage with this place. Is the first time I've done something like this. And hello From Mexico!
God does exist and He loves us. Also Satan exists. The only way he can affect us is by putting negative thoughts in our minds. His goal is to get us to hate God and even try to get us to commit suicide. He wants us to end up spending eternity in Hell with him. I'm sure what we are going through is nothing compared to eternity in a lake of fire. Call it preaching but that's the way I feel about it.
Yeah, I could believe a god exists, maybe, in a way too negligent and somewhat we dont really matter to him way, but maybe. Satan on the other hand... just nah, its too laughable of a concept. He is too convinient of a tool to manipulate the masses not to mention his whole concept is diminishing of the idea of an all mighty god (which again has its own flaws on logic to even exist). So yeah, I wish to say religion worked on me as this sedative balm that many people relay on but it really doesnt. To me it just too much of a denial of the crudeness of reality and I see way too many nasty people abuse it to justify their nastiness so.... I'm sorry but you are barking to the wrong tree here.
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[Trigger Warning] On this New Year's Eve ...
Just killing time.. 
Showering
Anyone?
Any meds that... work?
