I have MDD and am a compulsive shopper

[Raggedy-Ann]

Black Friday deals, Cyber Monday..... clocks counting down, emails Hurry, Going Fast..... blend that pushing , fear mongering, Yes, I get right in there shop everything compare prices.... It feeds my need to imagine my life happier me being beautiful, young, having friends....love.

Reality kicks in and I empty my carts. Only household things remain bedding, a couch I've been looking at for over a year and a half, a lava lamp that I bought and it is helping my anxiety, winter boots- mine leak.... see how I justify. AUUUGH!

I can't sleep

I will never have the life I want or be the person I want to be. I just keep trying to make my house nice 1:30 AM and I was on my kitchen floor cleaning the floor and installing some trim. I can't stop. I feel the edge of the darkness pulling me into the hole of depression. I don't want to go there again.

[Hidden]

Installing trim at 1:30 AM is impressive! Nice work. It also sounds like you have gotten good at emptying shopping carts - much better than spending money and getting more things that may only weigh you down more. You are not really handcuffed to your bed, like in your image, especially if you are getting tasks done at 1:30 AM. Sometimes I find Tara Brach helpful, like her story about Mohini. blog.tarabrach.com/2012/05/...

[omlovepeace]

I have MDD and bipolar disorder and this message shows many symptoms of bipolar disorder. Maybe you should ask your doctor about that.