Depression

[Izen]

I've been to medication for 2 yrs..I sleep a lot.. Cry on bed.. Have literally no one to talk to.. And recently my therapist said that I need to meet somebody.. Build relationships and connections.. But I have no one

[kenster1]

Hi you have virtual friends here but look up meeting groups in your area and you`ll be able to meet like minded people.

[Raggedy-Ann]

Hi Izen, welcome to our community. You can always join in the conversations here.

[Raggedy-Ann]

Oh we all cry and sleep too much, you're in good company. I tell everyone to change your sheets, clean linens are always helpful.

[JulBean]

Hi Izen,

Welcome to the group. You have made a great first step by reaching out to us here. We do understand. And we don’t judge. We encompass a wide variety of people from all ages and gender identities and backgrounds. We can offer a listening ear and virtual hugs.

Please feel open to post and talk about the pain that you are feeling. It is very real. And it is important that you acknowledge it.

Meeting people is so tough. And it’s especially hard when we feel like we are going to be a burden on whoever we meet.

Are there things that you like to do?

Did you play sports? Or games? Do you like to read? If you think that you could join a group - in person or online - that is a really good way to start

Connecting with people virtually REALLY is a start.

I chose to take up playing pool. It’s a weird thing, I know. But I can go to the pool hall or games room and practice on a table all by myself. I am alone, but also not alone. I have had people say hi to me and I have had people ask if I want to play with them. It makes me nervous. But I have played a game with a random stranger, and then said thanks (making an excuse about why I had to leave) and packed up and went home. But at least I got out of my house for an hour. I remind myself that it’s a start. And maybe one day I’ll feel good enough to be the one asking someone else to play, or maybe I will be confident enough to join a league. But for now it is just me, with other people in the room. Baby steps.

There are other low-threat ways to connect with people. These are ways where you aren’t going in feeling “needy” or like you are desperate for a friend.

Look at volunteering:

The local animal shelter may be looking for dog-walkers or people to help clean pens or give attention and socialization to cats. Animals are generally non-threatening and you will have some interaction with people too.

The local food bank or soup kitchen is usually also always looking for people to help with food order packing, prepping meals, serving, or washing dishes. Again, these are non-judgmental people.

Your public library may have positions to volunteer shelving books. This gets you out in public and gives you a purpose with gentle social interaction, but no expectations for long conversations.

Check with your Chamber of Commerce, they may be looking for volunteers to man a town information center.

If you don’t have a criminal record and aren’t a risk then youth organizations like Scouting is often looking for volunteers. Younger people are often less threatening to be around than our age-peers.

Watch for one-off volunteering opportunities. In my area they are currently looking for volunteers to help with the Santa Claus parade - just carrying banners or wearing a Santa hat and handing out candy canes. They are also seeking people for volunteer gift wrapping positions at the mall.

Trying to find friends our own age to spend one on one time with is a really challenging place to start. Our fears of rejection are acute. But when we volunteer we know that our presence is wanted and needed. And people are thankful to have us around to help.

I know that it is awful. And I also know that laying in bed feeling like crap only makes it worse.

And I know that I need to take my own advice too. 🤔 But hold on with us here. You aren’t alone.

[BlahhYataYata in reply to JulBean]

Great advice JulBean. I’ll take it myself! Thanks

[Linguistor]

Yes, Izen, try to have someone to talk to, to establish connections and relationshiops. You might try talking to your relatives, friends, classmates, even strangers in streets, parks, restaurants, etc.. Communicating in virtual communities, like this one, is useful, too. Hope you'll be improving soon.

[Pilsner123]

Volunteering helps me make connections. Not friends - but meaningful connections. Maybe it would work for you?