Bouncing Around Meds

[JulBean]

55F ADHD, MDD, GAD

My doctor has been bouncing me around on antidepressants for a year now. I’m not getting any relief and only dealing with side effects.

We have been figuring out ADHD meds at the same time. I’m regular old ADHD (not inattentive) with documented history dating back to Kindergarten. I have an adult child (24yrs) who is also ADHD afflicted.

I’m finally settled on Adderall as the one ADHD med that has zero negative side effects. My current dose is low while we try to deal with the overwhelming severe MDD.

I’m in serious danger of losing my job as I am on my third mental health leave of absence in a year. I rarely leave my house because I can’t face any people outside my family without crying. I’m a retail manager, so not being able to deal with people is a nonstarter.

I don’t have any friends left and my partner left me because he couldn’t deal with the untreated depression and ADHD. I’m finally getting ADHD treatment because of this “wake-up call” that I needed to finally get professional help with my ADHD.

I’ve stopped going to work, grocery shopping (unless we’re desperate), and looking after the house or myself. I rarely eat. I don’t exercise (because there are people everywhere and I am constantly exhausted). I’m not overweight.

I do own my house. I do have savings. I do have 4 teen/early-adult children at home. I DID think that I sort of had it together until a series of events (parent with terminal cancer diagnosis and then her death) threw my carefully managed routines into disarray. If you know anything about managing ADHD without meds you can understand that tightly controlled routines and structures are of utmost importance in holding life together.

I am a poor responder to most medications and side effects greatly outweigh any potential benefits (potential positive benefits are masked by negative effects).

I have tried Wellbutrin, Venfaxaline, and Zoloft. I’m in the detox process from Venlafaxine now (brutal). Next up is brand name Escitlopram (Cipralex) at half a tablet for 8 days and then a full tablet for 6 weeks, if it doesn’t knock me on my ass with side effects. And yes, we are aware of the red flag interactions with Adderall and another medication that I have to take for something unrelated (Long QT Syndrome and Serotonin Syndrome).

Has anyone else experienced this with no medication working? I’m just beginning to look into pharmacogenetic testing, but it isn’t common here (Canada) outside of those in inpatient centers.

[Mofro]

Yes, I've also been diagnosed with TRD. Although I once thought this meant no antidepressant would work, I've come to the understanding that it means I haven't found one to work yet, and still haven't. This is what I've tried, some in combinations over the years.

Bupropion _ Cymbalta _ Elavil _ Prozac _ Zoloft _ Imipramine _ Mirtazapine

Pristiq _ Effexor XR - Vibryyd _ Trintellix _ Lexapro _ Trazodone

Most of these were years ago, because I just got to the point I was sick of trying. I've even tried Ketamine IV treatments which I had to pay for out of pocket, which also didn't work for me. I went to a doctor about 2 months ago to mainly be seen for anxiety, and while we were talking about my depression he asked if I wanted to try Zoloft. He said that even though I tried it before years ago, that meds can work differently on people as they grow older. I agreed but unfortunately it was the same story, and I'm currently tapering off of it. At least I was prescribed for the anxiety which was out of control, and to me affects my ability to function more so than my depression. I've also had the pharmacogenetic testing which I gave to my doctor. He said while helpful in deciding on what med to try, they really aren't an exact science.

I once read a quote about psychiatrists and how they decide what type of medication to prescribe to patients. It basically said how they decide can be likened to throwing a dart at a dart board. Kind of seems that way to me at this point.

[Lovecatspetrats]

I can relate. I remember when I was diagnosed as a young teen jumping around antidepressants. I took Zoloft, lexapro, celexa, venlafaxine, Prozac. I don’t think I ever found the right fit even then. Being younger I started adhd treatment with concerta. At the same time I was taking klonopin for panic disorder. So I had a lot of ups and downs until I was 18 and stopped taking all medications. Now as an adult I just started taking adderall this year and have started been trying to find the right antidepressant again. I did pretty well with venlafaxine as a teen but when I tried taking it this year I had the worst side effects I’ve ever experienced. Same with lexapro. They don’t affect me the same way they did years ago. I started taking Wellbutrin this year and I was doing alright again for a bit but now I feel it becoming less effective and I’m afraid of the new adventures of balancing medications. It’s a struggle.

This year I went through one of the more severe episodes I’ve had. I could not get myself out of bed. Still can’t, a lot of the time. I can relate to the fear of losing your job. I had a big accomplishment this year in my career but I’ve been too miserable to acknowledge it or enjoy the benefits. I’m 26 and feel like I’m already failing. I’ve been trying to find ways to still function. Such as the grocery shopping. I started doing grocery orders where I can just go pick up at the store without having to actually go in. It’s still exhausting but it makes it easier. Im not sure if this sort of thing is available in your area. I also started ordering food delivery more to avoid having to cook. Just do the little things to take some of the load off of your shoulders. I feel very blessed to even have these conveniences.

I’ve been very focused on keeping a routine, which I agree, is very important when having adhd. But basically just keep putting one foot in front of the other and do your best for today. Tomorrow is a new day. We can’t always make ourselves feel better right away. It takes time. I’m low right now but I cycle through these stages and I know that eventually I will be “up” again and I just have to hold out long enough to see it. Being without medication or treatment for years, I have learned to be very self aware and check in with myself often. Trying to find a balance in medication is a work in progress that sometimes doesn’t feel worth the trouble. But still hanging in there for that “a-ha!” moment when I find the right fit. You will too. Don’t get discouraged. There is no one size fits all with mental health. Sorry for the long reply, but I am here experiencing similar situation and hoping that relating will help. Don’t stop yourself from reaching out.

[ElephantsHear in reply to Lovecatspetrats]

I appreciate your encouraging post. It’s going to help me get through today. Thanks.

[designguy]

I did do a psychopharmacological test and it worked well for me, it showed that none of the half-dozen meds I had tried before were right for me and I started on one it recommend (Pristiq) and it has worked well. My test was from Genesight and I live in the US so i'm not sure it's available in Canada. It was prescribed to me by my med doctor.

[JulBean in reply to designguy]

Yeah. The regular doctor doesn’t seem to know about it. I have found it here in Canada. It’s $300 out of pocket. I’m trying to figure out if it’s covered under my ex-husband’s health insurance. There might be a different vers. But at least I know now that it exists!

[designguy in reply to JulBean]

I hope you are able to get one and that it helps you, it definitely helped me.