Hurting

[DonnaEll]

today has been awful. My sons girlfriend gives me anxiety attacks and tonight sent me into a crying jag for two hours. It’s like I want to crawl out of my body for awhile and be someone else. Sometimes I just can’t stand being me and I have no one to hug me and tell me it’ll be ok anymore . I miss my mom and my aunt so much and my son too. My brothers both live out west and know I’m in a bad state but never call to check on me or see how I’m doing. I just want to be in a nice coma for awhile so I can rest. I’m just so tired.

[gajh]

I am sorry that you are hurting. I am glad you are here reaching out. You are not alone. I am sorry you have no one to hug you and tell you it'll be ok. I hope you give yourself a hug. Have you found anything you can do to comfort yourself?

[DonnaEll in reply to gajh]

I really haven’t found much except my cat and older son. Even though he’s my only son now, I still refer to him as my older one. I can’t bring myself to say that he is just my one son. I don’t think I ever will.

[gajh in reply to DonnaEll]

I am glad to hear that you have a cat. I am glad your cat gives you comfort. I am sorry that your son's girlfriend gives you anxiety attacks. Are you able to spend any time alone with your son? I am hesitant to ask because I don't want to hurt you, but I am curious how long ago you lost your youngest son. Only if you feel comfortable sharing.

[Montana136]

Hi DonnaEll,I suffer from major depressive disorder. And often I feel alone and like I need a hug and there's nobody around to give me one. In the past 30 years of having these experiences I've learned that I if I talk nice to myself if I say encouraging things if I remind myself of the good things I've accomplished, I talk to myself with kindness and care sometimes that makes me feel better when I'm alone. It's especially hard when you're at a distance from family. And sometimes family is not very reassuring they have busy lives too and sometimes the overlooked the idea that reaching out to someone struggling is very helpful. Sometimes certain people just do not understand. That's why we are here. I'm sending you a virtual hug and I'm hoping that your pain will ease and you will be better tomorrow. This site has been very helpful to me very supportive encouraging because I know the people on this website have actually experienced some of the incredible disappointing emotions that I have suffered. It's sometimes feels really good to get advice from somebody who knows what they're talking about. Or even just to be listened to and acknowledge. I feel much better I've been a member since March and is done me a good service. And if you had the chance to respond to somebody else in any way encouragement support sending a heart emoji. It helps that person feel better and it also helps you feel better. Reaching out to someone who needs help and being helpful is very healing. Good luck to you I hope you find some relief you're not alone. Take care of yourself and be well

Montana

[DonnaEll in reply to Montana136]

Thank you for the kind words. I am so glad I found the site because I have found some good people on here that listen and understand and that in and of itself is very comforting. I look forward to getting to know everyone here!

[nmgarcia]

I'm so sorry that you're going through that. I completely understand the feeling of wanting to crawl out of your skin and just leave your consciousness for a while. Anxiety is so difficult to live with and people who don't experience can never truly know how we feel. It can feel so terrifying and as if you're the only one in the world silently suffering. People like me know what you're going through and wish that you weren't. I really hope you can find comfort in your cat and son and other people through these forums. We'll be here to talk things through and relate 🌼

[DonnaEll in reply to nmgarcia]

Thank you so much!

[Midori]

What is it about your son's GF that gives you anxiety attacks?

Cheers, Midori