Help please

[Rufus07]

I am severely depressed. I can’t break out of it. My sig. other says I need to get out of bed and out of the house. He’s probably right, but how do you do this when you can barely function?

[Nothing_but_books]

Start tiny. Teeny tiny. Do one small thing you'd rather not do, and acknowledge yourself for the superhuman effort involved.

If you feel up to it, do one more. If not, don't beat yourself. This isn't easy.

[Rufus07 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

It has gotten so bad . Severe crying everyday. Inpatient hospital? I was there 20+ years ago and didn’t feel like I got any help. There isn’t anything in particular making me feel this way. I just can’t shake it.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Rufus07]

There is something making you feel this way. Depression. It's a debilitating illness. People who have never experienced it may tell you to "Snap out of it." It doesn't work that way. They wouldn't tell you to snap out of any debilitating illness they lived through.

Treat yourself kindly. Let yourself do things that give you comfort. Make a list.

If you need inpatient, ask for help. Meanwhile, call hotlines and post here. Support is essential.

[Rufus07 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

If something is making me feel this way, I have no idea what it is. I’ve been depressed on and off to different degrees for the past 30+ years. I can remember being like this in high school.maybe not this bad, but bad enough. First suicide attempt was when I was 16! The second about 33. Thankfully God didn’t feel like it was time for me to go. Are hotlines only for if you are suicidal?

[WastedDays in reply to Rufus07]

Please call 988 if you need to. It is for crisis. I have used it many times whether I had suicidal thoughts or not and it has helped me break out of my spiral.

This disease is lying to you. I know it’s hard, but you are worthy, seen, loved and heard. Not only by us, but so much more by the God of all creation.

[Rufus07 in reply to WastedDays]

Thank you!

[Beavis2022 in reply to Rufus07]

Been there - I'm so sorry. Just moving your body & doing small things helps somewhat - walk around the house, do dishes or laundry, if you're up to it. You don't have to leave the house. rest when you feel like resting. This does come and go, as you know, even though you think it;s permanent.

[Rufus07 in reply to Beavis2022]

Thank you for the suggestions

[Rufus07 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

I feel like I’m grabbing at straws and they are just slipping through my fingers. I’m at a loss.

[Rufus07 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

it’s to the point where I don’t even feel like I can help myself.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Rufus07]

Ask for help. If you have any family members or friends who can support you, ask them to help you get a therapist, or to get inpatient.

Meanwhile, think of things you wish you could do, and google How to do X with depression.

[Rufus07 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

I have family members, but I don’t want to bother them. 30+ years of therapy has never helped.

[Beavis2022 in reply to Rufus07]

Me either, or drugs - they make it worse for me.

[Rufus07 in reply to Beavis2022]

I just stopped a drug that I was only on for 4 months. It seemed to make everything worse too.

[Rufus07 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

thank you for the suggestions

[Rufus07 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

It took everything I had, but I did get out for a walk last . All it did for me was make me freeze my butt off. It was about 20 degrees. I did get a shower today and that felt good. Baby steps.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Rufus07]

Congratulations!👍🎉

You got out there and froze your butt off! ⛄ Yay! You did it. You deserve a nice, hot drink. ☕

And showered squeaky clean. Oh, good for you! You did so good!

See how you're doing tomorrow. Remember teeny steps forward beat great big jumps you need a long time to recover from.

I'm so proud of you!

🤎🤎🦜

[Beavis2022 in reply to Rufus07]

Great! I don't know how you got the courage to shower! Yikes!

[Rufus07 in reply to Beavis2022]

Sometimes it’s really difficult.

[blackcat64013]

Hi,

I agree with Nothing But Books.

Start small. Getting out of bed involves putting your feet on the floor to break the deal with your bed. You can then move on to the thing you need to do, be it a shower or getting a drink and so on. It's also important to acknowledge yourself for the superhuman effort involved.

To find help, information about your type of depression and a therapist, the best website is the American Depression & Anxiety Association

adaa.org/understanding-anxi....

If your doctor does phone consultations that would be helpful too. Just ask for a double time booking because you will have a lot to talk about.

Your recovery journey starts with the first step.

[Rufus07 in reply to blackcat64013]

I do have help available but talk therapy has never worked for me. If I tell them I’m severely depressed they ask why and I don’t know why. Then I just feel like they judge me and I’m wasting their time. Like I’m not “broken enough “ to deserve their time. I have no past trauma to “blame” it on. It’s a chemical thing.

[Midori]

You have to fight your hindbrain, which is telling you that 'bed is your safe place', and tell it, forcefully if necessary that it's wrong and Make yourself get up and go sit on the couch, if you can't face the big outdoors yet. Do a bit more each day, don't let yourself go backwards. Your hindbrain is the protective part of your mind, it will always tell you to take the easy course.

I have had to do this; I had two mini-me's to bring up after my husband died, and if I didn't do it nobody else would.

I used to have enormous arguments with my hindbrain, and you have to keep doing it when it tells you to stay safe in bed. If you do it enough times, it will give up; it did for me.

It's not easy, but it does work.

Cheers, Midori

[Rufus07 in reply to Midori]

It’s like I just don’t have it in me. This depression is crippling. I have gotten out on the couch for a bit for all it’s worth. Thank you for your suggestion 🙂. Have a good day, afternoon or night whichever applies to you.

[dollcat]

Bless you Rufus. I know exactly how you feel. I have suffered from depression and anxiety all my life. It's a disorder my GP told me. I have to have antidepressant and anti anxiety meds changed every few years because they stop working. I tell myself I won't always feel this way but when I am having a major depressive episode it doesn't register. Being told by people to pull yourself together and similar sentiments make it worse don't they ? My husband doesn't understand. I put it all in a text to him and he says he has more awareness of my conditions now. People can't emphasise though unless they suffer from our debilitating conditions. Do get help though. It doesn't go away on its own.

[Rufus07 in reply to dollcat]

thank you for your kind reply. Everything you say is true. If only it would go away on its own. It’s been rearing its ugly head for 30+ years. This episode is a bad one. It has gotten a lot better the past few days thank God.

[dollcat in reply to Rufus07]

I am so sorry. This time of year doesn't help does it ? We are supposed to be happy and celebrating. I was already depressed and needing a change of meds. 1 of my dogs was poorly. I had to have her put to sleep. 2 days later my other dog suffered a heart attack and also passed away. Such beautiful elderly girls. I know that meds don't help with grief. I know why my depression is really bad now but I have had depression in the past that has come out of the blue and for no reason. That feels like grief too but you don't know what you are grieving for. Sometimes it happens after a build up of other problems. I hope 🙏 you feel better soon x

[Rufus07 in reply to dollcat]

I am so sorry about your dogs. I can’t even imagine the sadness you are going through. My episode seemed to have been getting better but I seem to be falling back to where I was. You are right about this time of year. I’m so glad it’s almost done. Are you in the process of getting new meds? I hope you find something that helps. I hope you feel better soon too. Again, I’m sorry about losing your fur babies. Mine is 7 and I pray to God I have so many more years with him. Try to have a good day🙂🙏

[dollcat]

Bless you 🙏 Thank you. I am totally heartbroken 💔 about my dogs. I have started new meds. Either they haven't started working yet or they need increasing or aren't the right ones for me. The mental health pharmacist in 2 days so will see what she suggests. I hope you feel better soon 💕

[Rufus07 in reply to dollcat]

I hope you get your meds straightened out soon. It is so frustrating trying to find the right one or the right dose. It always takes too long…at least for me. Thank you for the well wishes🙂

[dollcat]

Thank you so much. I hope you feel better soon too 🙏💕

[Rufus07 in reply to dollcat]

Thank you🙂