Trying to save me

[Nicole73]

this episode had taken everything away from me. I’m tired all the time and I just want to be left alone. Have started new meds which take time to kick in. But for now I’m barely hanging on.

[TSSS]

This is the first post I’ve responded to but I want you to know you are not alone. I suffer from similar feelings and want nothing more than to feel “human” again! Would love to talk if you want to respond!!

[Pixiegreen69 in reply to TSSS]

I know what you mean by barely hanging on. I get so depressed that my psychosis kicks in and waiting for the medication to kick in while there’s a week of psychosis and horrible voices. It’s a super hard chore to just hang on and get through the day let alone look forward to the day when the medication will kick in. It seems like it will take forever, I only stopped hearing voices two days ago. The week before that and leading up to that day was absolute hell literally. The voice is telling me they’re from hell and they’re going to take me there. They’re going to kill me and they want me to kill myself. These voices are not pleasant, and I don’t want to have them. Stress brings it on and also depression brings it on and also my shot wears off after three weeks so the last week before I can get the next shot is a terrible week and I have to use Risperidone on the bridge the gap. I’m on anti-depressants I’m on lithium do you think I would be balanced enough? I’m on a shot for psychosis. All of this stuff should work. I don’t know why I get this crap. I guess I’m the lucky one. Nobody else in the family has this . I told my brother after you asked me how I was doing and I told him what was going on with me and he told me I was not an asset to anybody. That did not set well, and I flew off the handle. We never get along Told me I was a danger to my family who I would never ever hurt in my psychosis situations I get more protective of them. he has his head up his ass. I had to block him for a couple of days for a cooling off. Period. We really clash sometimes and when we do it big clash. He gets drunk and sends stupid texts and starts berating my family thinking he has the perfect family. He’s a drunk who doesn’t work lives off his wife. But he thinks he’s dad of the year and the super husband. I couldn’t live with him in 1 million Years I think I’d rather live in a tent.

[Smooth_Jazz_Lvr]

Hi, I’m new to this forum but not the feelings you described. You’re not alone. I totally understand you as I’m also taking meds hoping they will get me balanced. I feel lonely and anxious

[TSSS in reply to Smooth_Jazz_Lvr]

I’ve tried multiple different medications and nothing seems to work. I’m hoping reaching out to you wonderful people will help enlighten my mood and take away some of this emptiness!! Looking forward to it actually!!

[Pixiegreen69]

I think mental illness, isolates us enough to the point where we are like pariah’s, and we feel like we can’t have relationships which leads us to loneliness. Nobody understands and they’re all scared to get close enough to have to deal with it. If they deal with it, then it’s a burden as what I feel. I always feel like I’m a burden.

[Herewegoagain12 in reply to Pixiegreen69]

You said the words that I can never get out of my head. I am a burden. Not only do I have mdd and gad, I also have stage 4 kidney disease, and am taking anti rejection drugs which have horrible side effects. I was hoping my kidney would start getting worse, then my family wouldn't have the burden of supporting me anymore. But my kidney is stable. Now all I think about is the burden I am, and how to get out of this mess that used to be me. I don't know how much more I can take, physically and mentally.

[raisin44]

Hi Nicole this bout of my depression started 1and a half years ago, due to my ex having an affair then our divorce. It has been miserable dealing with all of the emotions and bad feelings. I have checked myself into 2 psych wards due to being suicidal. I take medications and talk to a therapist. Do you have a therapist?Talk to anybody who will listen. Good luck.

[fauxartist]

This is a site for anxiety and depression, yet more and more it's becoming an open forum. Most off topic posts about animals, art, and some other minor stuff is just passed over by HU, and most members don't mind, but the harmful posts, some about pushing a personal religious agenda is very triggering and harmful for those who have been traumatized and abused by some religious indoctrination under threat, so to be constantly subjected to bible quotes, and god blogs here on a site that is supposed to be about mental wellness, it's about time HU step up and stop it, like they don't allow swearing, or politics, or pushing of personal agendas.

[Syn222]

Hi. I'm suffering as well found this site and am trying to find people to talk to. Hope things are getting better for you but I know how that is. Message me if you feel alone and want to talk. I'm a safe space.