Where to get help with children, chores, doctors visits etc.

Had a rough few months before Xmas which meant I didn't get my children to school regularly and my house looked like a bomb site. I was very low. As I have neuropsychiatric/CNS SLE with Lupus Anticoagulent I'm under a psychiatrist as well as a rheumy and St Thomas's. I decided to call the emergency psych team because I just felt that I really couldn't cope any more, I wanted to be locked up. The school were also on my back about the childrens attendance and they contacted the education authority.

Well my emergency team scheduled appointments with my psych and with St Tomas's they contacted social services and Guildford Action for Families (GAF,a charity), plus they came everyday to chat for 10 days. I must admit that they made everyone including family stand up and listen and start helping me.

Social services rang and said they were recommending a CAF (children and family) be done and that they knew I was a good mother but that I needed help so I wasnt to fear them.

The head mistress and school home link worker came to my home last week to complete the CAF forms on each child. Basically its to analyse needs and set targets for the children (7 & 11). All medical professionals dealing with the family can get involved too. GAF are seeing me tomorrow to help make plans for flares when I don't feel capable of getting the kids to school or doing housework etc, they'll help do everything it seems. I'm hoping theyll help to teach my children to become more independent, my children are registered carers so they get trips out plus you can claim up to £500 per carer to go towards something that will help to improve their lives - I use the money for swimming and music lessons (I'm a single mum on benefit due to lupus).

To sum up: Who you can contact

School home link worker - has details of local organisations/charities who can help e.g to help with DIY, the children and fitness for health.

Young carers association

Request a CAF be done to see how all interested parties can help

Get your doctor to write a letter stating you're in need of assistance

Local Action for Families Charity

Speak to the class representative of your childs class and see if they can email mums to ask for help with car pooling etc

If the above take no notice or refuse help then you'll just have to keep your kids back from school, cry on your doctors and let them all see that you need help. there are organisations out there, you needn't be alone. I hope this has helped. xxxx

[Sher78]

Handy 2 know, thanks Guildford! Hope u're on the road 2 feeling more u'reself ;0)

[mstr]

So brilliantly put. Until last year and this condition took hold of me I worked as a social worker and I always think it is such a shame that people do not think they can ask for help for fear of being judged. I'm so pleased that you are so able to access this support which you so rightfully need/deserve. The GAF charity sounds amazing. I just hope that this has not taken it out of you health wise too much. I'm so glad that you are getting this help. You can also arrange appointments to suit you and double up on agencies visiting too so that it isn't too fatiguing for you .....best of luck xxx

[flutterby]

I think what you have written shows huge strength of character, and hope it will help other people going through the same. I understand how difficult it can be to manage. I have NP lupus too, and while my kids are now older i remember just how hard things were and what a struggle it was to cope. I wish that I had been able to access such things. It is so good that you have written about the help available and I am so pleased that you have been able to get the help that you so deserve. I hope that things are looking better for you now. xxx

[letslaugh63]

It's not easy to ask for help I think your a very strong and brave person and I hope your life has/is vastly improved by your courage x

[copdber]

Well done for making contact with your emergency teem. It most have been hard to do. So sorry you are having to deal with all this. My kids are grown up I didn't get sick until they were in there teens. I sometimes mind my little grandaughter after she is gone home I have to go to bed I am so tired. I don't know how you mothers with young kids cope. I think your marvelous

[Jaxqueline]

Thanks for the advice, you've done really well. x

[jemmyjemjem]

Thanks for the advice. Social Services are not to be feared, the last thing they would ever want to do is take anyones children away from them, they are there to help and to understand, I worked for Social Services for years and all the social workers i know are luvly and just want to help, they care about what they do and they people they do it for .. good luck with everything Guildford .. J x

[Nightjar]

Great information - thanks. Wishing you and the children Good Luck!

[helentad]

Hi Guildford, great info. I was in a state and my GP helped us. I now have a carer for 17 hour a week. My twin boys are 6 and are in the local young carers group but I don't know anything about the £500 that you mentioned. Is that only available in your area or country wide? Does it have a specific name? My husband gets £250 every other year for breaks or decorating so if any other funds for either him or the boys would be fantastic. It would mean that they could go to beavers or football because as it stands we pay for swimming but can not afford anything else.

Many thanks for the info. Helen