sick and tired of esa

[rusty]

after my fight with esa it has left me with panick attacks scared to go out and answer my phone and my door have thought about ending my life got tablets from dr still not helping and to make it worse had visit from dwp today im so sick and tired of this s**** any advice

[Gillyg]

Not advice about dealing with ESA but just to say a lot of us are going through this with them. They make you nervous about going out in case it is a better day and they think you are always like that. Just believe in your self you have an illness that effects you differently daily it doesn't mean you can work. You are ill and I am sure you would rather not be but don't let them make you think you don't deserve a quality of life. I am in appeal at the moment but don't hold out much hope it has been 5months and not heard a word except the phone call to ask how I am. In Febuary my money will stop and I will have to reapply, I will do it although it will make me feel a nervouse wreck having to prove you are ill is a dreadful thing but hang in there. Talk about your feelings someone on here will listen. Don't do anything silly because of these unfeeling people in government. You deserve a life. Take care.

[smurfette]

That's a shame ur feeling so low, my daughters going through a dark spell at the moment. I'm fighting dla for her at the moment and it's exhausting.keep fighting you know u can if ur not happy with the government go get advice elsewhere even go and see your local councillor. If your not happy with your doctor change them. Have you got family to support you? Take them with you. Take care

[Hidden]

Hmmmm. This story is getting all too familiar - and I know how you feel Rusty, because I have felt it too. I am going to have a long hard think about this. There must be something that we can do.

[loopy-lou]

Keep strong and keep fighting. Don't allow them to get the better of you. It is all too familiar and I totally understand how you feel. Get someone to go with you to any appointments. Why not go to Citizens Advice. I am going though similar and am seeing Citizens Advice again this week. It is very hard when you are feeling so ill. If your doctor is not supportive, changed dr. Keep posting and take care.

[fiona734]

Sending you a hug. Are your vitamin D levels low ? You prowawasbbly have none...and the Dr's do not always check blood test results with you. Ask your GP asap. As you know we need to protect ourselves from UV plus a "Flare/Crisis" also keeps us preferably in bed or on the couch because of the exhaustion & or pain.

No Vitamin D = ACUTE DEPRESSION & a host of other physiological effects on the body.

You may well need a VITAMIN D INJECTION & then be prescribed something like ABITEC ( multi vitamin. Also have you had your thyroid function blood test results looked at ? Again your GP should be able to pull up results from most recent going back to see if there is a trend.

Please don't just start taking loads of vitamins without consultation as they can sometimes be unhelpful if not taylored to your body's needs and things like StJohns Wort can actually have serious contraindications with prescribed meds.

I feel so angry that you are having to go thru all the extra stress. The trouble with the new

assessments seem to be that if you can get there, then "you must be well"..Personally I have copies of every test result. Dr Guides available from Lupus UK for about £7.00 and my Achievment Journal (a daily record of illness, what I could do and highlighted any problemd).

Have you a Social Worker ? They can sometimes offer support by helping with filling out forms and writing letters of support. It seems that the only way to cope with the new systems is to bombard with paperwork & education.

Plus we are proud. It is awful to admit what we cant do, we make sure we look as best we can to go to the Drs etc even if exhausted and or in agony. Pride needs to be dumped & tell it like it is. I used to make sure my hair had been done in the weeks leading up to a Consultation, have a G/F help me put on my make-up & get me dressed in my sunday best etc. Now I wear edwardian style nighties so that I just need to add pantirs, a belt, bright scarf and a jacket. With a hat & sunglasses who knows. You pass muster but it is so energy saving plus no need to change for scans, exams etc.

Good luck & demand to have your Vitamin D & B12 levels tested.

Anti-depressents probably are not necessary just a couple of injections and monitoring.

Sorry I ramble but in Flare myself at moment. If one thing I have suggested helps then for once I will feel useful ( another side effect of this frustrating condition - feeling a burden etc)

A BIG HUG TO YOU

[uglydress01]

Rusty, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm in the USA and had same difficulties when applying for disability. It was the most humiliating and degrading experience I've ever gone through. Truly, I look like the picture of health and I knew everyone was judging me. I held my head up and stuck to the facts. Eventually, I won my case. As Goethe says, "Endure and save yourself for days of happiness." Hang in there.

[fabwheelie]

Some advise - Try your local council social services dept to see if they have a welfare rights officer - My GP refered me to my local one and it helped me win my ESA appeal

Do go back to GP and speak to them as it will help ESA appeal/ application if detrimental effects of being in ESA are medically acknowledged (If you can get evidence that ESA decision is detrimental then there is a chance of people getting changed from WRAG group to support group, and I guess it may also be grounds to get re-assessed for people who originally do not "qualify with enough " ESA points" in the assesment)

It may also be worth discussing with GP about having mental health team involvement as thoughts of ending life do need to be addressed

This blog has a usefull link to what "they score points for" in ESA assesment so may give you some way of knowing how to fit your symptoms and disabilities to the form -

lupusuk.healthunlocked.com/...

see this Lupus UK link for access to "benefits and work" publications for free -

lupusuk.org.uk/living-with-...

good luck

[Lupo30]

Hi Rusty

You are not alone! I had a dreaded brown letter come on my doorstep this afternoon saying I'm being summoned to the jobcentre. They've not even acknowledge my appeal letter. I do feel very stressed also and am constantly worrying and having impoverished thoughts. This government really makes me sick and as a consequence it is making the sick even sicker - just to make their numbers look good. Hopefully your visit from the DWP today will make them realise what they have done to you! Please do not do anything stupid for these people - think of how upset those that care about you would feel, and there are many on this support forum that care about you, as well as those closet to you. KEEP STRONG!!!

[river]

My DLA was withdrawn and I appealed twice and decided I was too weary to fight anymore. I then was lucky to hear that my county council had an advice officer and after applying once more with his support and asking that all correspondence was copied to him within a week it was reinstated, so please do not give up, do hope you soon feel much happier.