Asked to work late big mistake

I am in the nursing field i work as a nurses aide somedays can be alot of work but yesterday i was asked to stay over a few hours to help out i didt want to say no even tho i was allready feeling bad and sore and getting stiff so i stayed but when i got off to go home my legs and hip was hurting so bad and just felt stiif and i got so upset because i do not want to feel this way i was so tired i just did not want to do nothing when i got home but take some iburphron and lay down but then i felt guilty because my family was doing things and i just could not do it. i hate having lupus i wheather have something they can do something about it is just to much with this illness and some people just do not know. i have tryed not taking medication for lupus i go back to rehumy dr on the 11th of june.

6 Replies

Hi Diane. I think this is why a lot of people with lupus end up quitting work. I do the same thing when it comes to work. I push myself too hard and end up paying by the time I go home. My body let's me know I'm pushing it too hard by pain, stiffness and fatigue. All I want to do is go home, relax and do nothing, but that's next to impossible when you have a family to take care of, too. Many times I say to myself (almost daily) that I need to quit working because I can't take much more of this. My family suffers too because I push myself at work. Right now I'm already dreading tomorrow.


I can totally understand this.

I did exactly the same - I was fortunate in that I managed to find a new job that's working from home - not exactly a fantastic career change but I feel better mentally as well as physically,there are some days when I work in my PJs all day!!!!!!

You have to think of your health - go and visit Occupational Health and ask for advice,they were great with me when this all started,helping with flexible working etc.

It's your right to have the help.

Good luck xx


I agree with these comments, I think we are all guilty of pushing ourselves too far, I find one day overdoing it results in a lot more time out of action so I have to remind myself. Sometimes when I am "well" I try to over-compensate and try to do everything and have to remind myself of what is really important and what the priorities are and what doesn't really matter. Take care. xx



I known how you feel, but the hardest part of having this is admitting to our selfs that we are not superwoman. I worked harder than everyone just to prove that a could and that i was not ill. i found that sometimes you just have to say no .That was the hardest part.

Good luck and good health



It's so hard with work isn't it. This happened to me the last shift that I worked :( time after time I've said no and even gave my manager a copy of the spoon theory. Did she read it? Did she ********. She upset me one day a couple of weeks back saying something about my appearance and then even asked me what was wrong with me.. I couldn't believe it! Anyway, I had already said no to working extra but nobody could come on and cover til 45 mins later so I had to stay till then. I'm a care assistant so very physical job. I've had enough after An hour, let alone the 3 that I do... Then have to get home, get food, wash etc. I really don't know what else to do to try and get them to understand :( if anybody's had luck with this please let me know!!

Good luck with your next Rheumy visit.


I just feel at times lately i need a job change but i have been a nurses aide here for 14 years now but it gets so hard lately trying to take care of the people i need to help on a daily basics the first few hours or ok but as i get near time to go home iam really tired and hurting and i need a second job but im having a hard time with working one job right now and you no no one understands how you feel because they do not understand lupus or really care if they dont have to live with it i know there are worser things to have and im greatful everyday but this is so hard for me right now.


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