Looking for advice please fellow lupus warriors 🙏 After a gap of 5 years I gave in to family pleading and got us another dog. She’s a lively Cockapoo and while I can manage a 35 minute walk most days, I’m worn out after that and struggle to keep her entertained a lot of the day. Husband is at work dawn to dusk and the kids are away at uni and sleep on until midday when home so hopeless at walking her when most needed first thing. She settles on my lap on my recliner chair for a few hours a day but won’t settle properly if I’m trying to get things done in the house and tries to get me to play or go in the garden with her. She’s being spayed next week and turns one in 2 weeks so I’m hoping she’ll settle down more but I’d be really grateful for advice/pep talk/accounts of how other dog owners manage. Thanks!🙏
Any tips on coping with lively dog while unwell p... - LUPUS UK
Any tips on coping with lively dog while unwell please?
Hi Cathyan. 5 years ago I decided to get a dog after being without one for several years. I got a cavachon. Mix of bischon and Cavalier. He wanted more attention than I could give him out in the sun so we we got another one !!! Same breeder different litter. It worked wonderfully. When they turned 2 they truly calmed more. Woe is me I got one more half King Charles and half poodle/a cavapoo. He turns 3 next month. He is the smartest dog I’ve ever owned and has challenged me physically as well. Like you, I can no longer walk them everyday. I bought one of those ball launcher toys. I sit and wing a ball that flys away a good bit and he runs after each launched ball for about 30 minutes. I can do this inside or out. Mostly they are very good company and are all out of the puppy stage. And I would think yours also will be out of the puppy stage in this next year. Best, Titters
Oh you made me laugh Titters. Thank you for the tips and reassurance. Not sure I can bear to go through toilet training again with a second dog but company for her would be good. Your dogs sound lovely!
Hi Cathyan I totally agree with Titters a second dog makes real sense. We got a cocker spaniel and they are absolutely nuts. I used to cry because after being dragged for a half an hour I was exhausted and Brodie was still racing, jumping, nibbling, wanting to play. So we got Dylan. They chased one another all over the house and up and down the garden, they tugged at their toys and rolled around before collapsing in their beds spent for a few hours then did it all again. As for the toileting your older dog will guide the puppy so it will be easier for you. With having Brodie and Dylan just three months apart I would put the puppy pads down and Brodie would snatch and chew them while Dylan peed on the floor. You can also get all sorts of distraction toys and lick mats to keep your dog occupied. Please post a photo. Good luck. If all else fails get a good dog Walker to wear her out once a day xxx
Thanks CecilyParsley I can totally relate to crying when a walk doesn’t wear them out. Am coming round to the second dog idea! Lick mats have not worked so far but I will try again and get some puzzle box thingies.
Kings are good and the little balls that they can bash around to get treats out of. Word of warning don’t get one with a bell in like I did as it will drive you potty lol xxx
Thanks CecilyParsley. Will look out for these 🙏
Lexi
Omg she is just scrumptious. What a gorgeous girl and a bundle of mischief I suspect. I just love her 😍 xxx
Lexi is so adorable! but I understand your problem. Our dog, Gigi is a border collie. She just showed up in our yard . We found her owners who turned out to be illegal dog breeders. We had already had her for 10 days and were attached. The dog authorities asked that we did not give her back to the owners. I knew having a puppy would be very difficult for me, but the thought of her life with her owners was not good. We met them and they had no feelings for Gigi, but were very happy to sell her to us. I was very stubborn and didn't listen and tried to leash train her. All was going well until she saw something and took off. I ended up with breaking the main neck bone and right wrist. That was 2 years ago. We still have our sweet, energetic and exuberant girl. She brings us so much joy. I do not walk her and I do feel bad that I can't. She has calmed downed a lot now that she is over 2 and likes her toys. We also have a cat, Pumpkin and they have worked out a coexistence. Gigi knows not to chase Pumpkin. We are still working on that she should not eat Pumpkin's food. I guess what I am saying after all this, if you can work it out, the unconditional love from our pets is so worth it. I like the idea if you could get Lexi a companion or someone to help with walking and playing. I hope you can work it out for both you and Lexi.
Healing hugs.
Thanks Pumpkin2009. What a story about how you got Gigi. So lovely to hear it’s worked out in the end. I guess I need patience!
It is often possible to find a dogwalker locally - so many people would LIKE a dog but can't afford it or they aren't allowed in their accomodation and they are happy to help out someone like you. And there are also older people who don't want to commit to another dog having lost their own but are well fit enough to take someone else's for a walk.
Thanks PMRpro. Yes I wondered about. I know the walk is good for me though. It’s coping with the rest of the day that is then difficult really.
Mmmm - but a longer walk would tire her out more and calm her down so it doesn't stop you going out with her too. And you have some respite while she is out for the other walk.
Titters post reminds me of a friend who had a sheepdog. When she broke her leg she used to sit on the children's swing in their very large garden and just swing gently. As long as she did that the dog would race round and round the garden in circles until she's had plenty of exercise - and then passed out in front of the fire indoors 
If the thought of house-training another dog is too much but another dog isn't - what about a rescue dog? There are often charities that have fully house-trained older dogs whose owner can't keep them due to illness or something and they must be rehomed.
Borrow my dog is an option for having a few hours of break or weekend away if you find a reliable dog lover. Many people tried it and it can work given you find the right person for your dog. Its free with a small yearly fee x
I don’t have a dog , more of a cat person , here’s Mr Waffles (see attached) but my daughter who is now away at uni loves them. She is a volunteer and walks dogs for people who need help. I agree with others saying if someone took her for a longer walk you could still enjoy your walks . Maybe there is something like it in your area, I think it’s something like Borrowmydoggy . My daughter really enjoys walking the dogs and being a student she obviously cannot keep one . Good luck M x
Thanks for that recommendation for the volunteer dog walking Maddymay. Love Mr Waffles 😍 I’ll look into borrowmydoggy and anything else that happens locally. Hope you’re doing okay xx
What a beautiful cat . Love the golden eyes . From another cat lover .
That is exactly the best reason to I got my dog and then dogs. They make you get out!Also I want to add there is a product I get through my vet called Zylekene. It is a natural calming agent made from mother dog’s hormones. I open a capsule on Teddy’s food about once a week and it simply calms him. Not a sedative. I use it for fireworks here in US on holidays as all my dogs get anxious with the noise. Worth a try!
Thanks Titters. I’ll check out Zylekene. I use a plug in calming defuser called Adaptil which helps a little and give her a powder supplement called Calm-K9
A lively dog is tough - there is a website called Borrow my Doggie, so maybe using that and walking on alternate days might be easier for you. A ball chucker could also help you out (not sure what they're actually called!)
They do calm down a bit with age, although our 3 year old mini-labradoodle can still be manic.
Thanks marypw I’ll check out that website. There’s a community email system locally which I could try as well. I must get a ball chucker! Our last dog was a labradoodle also mad. He shed and didn’t need to go to a groomer so it’s been a shock to realise that Cockapoos need a 2 month appointment!
Ah, the joys of a cockapoo. I have one who is now 3 years old. They are so intelligent and as you say need to be stimulated. They are also masters at inducing a guilt trip when we need to rest. Did you know that they are known as the velcro dog - they can get so distressed when parted and have a long puppyhood. Yours sounds just like mine - toy /ball obsessed and constantly wanting to play. Like you, I was getting exhausted. I gave in to a dog walker. She is fantastic and takes her for group walks (she carefully groups her dogs) so pups comes back having gone to 'playgroup' pleasantly tired and ready for a nap. Apart from weekends she does alternate days so I can do every other day. Pups adores her.
I also bought some 'challenging' games - fill them with treats and she has to work out the puzzle in order to get the treat -loved them but I do need to get a more challenging one.
Do you have some neighbours /young person who would love a dog but can't have one who might fancy walking her?
Ultimately, she is now aware of some signals that say -no hope- have a snooze. E.g. if I get a sewing basket out, turn on the news etc.
Hope some of this helps.
I'm sure others have come up with ways of entertaining their pups. Looking forward to some other tips. xx
RosieA it really helps to hear what you have tried with your Cockapoo. Separation anxiety has been such an issue recently as there were 4 of us home over Christmas and then kids went back to uni and husband went to visit his father in Sri Lanka for 3 weeks- complete nightmare of a stressed dog that couldn’t be left and agitated over a particular toy all day and wanted to go out and come in constantly. I was on my knees!
Hi Cathyan unfortunately cockapoos are extremely lively and need a lot of exercise , we were going to get one and did a lot of research and asked a lot of owners and they all said the same thing so we settled on miniature schnauzers , we have mum and daughter, you’ve properly seen pics of Mira as she was born in lockdown - I walk them every other day as like you am exhausted all the time - the rest of the time they are quite happy sat on my lap- which I do every afternoon and like others have said getting another dog is company for the other and my two do play a lot - Bea is 5 in June and Mira 2 in April, We never had any toilet issues as the puppy just watched and learnt from her mum- I also think a dog walker would be a good alternative xx
Thanks svfarmer. I hadn’t realised that about Cockapoos. I blithely assumed if we got one instead of a labradoodle this time round it would need less exercise because it was small 🙄 Had to stick with a hypoallergenic dog because one child gets a bit wheezy with dogs after a few hours exposure.
Have you tried a Liki mat, I've heard that they can be very good at calming dogs. Interestingly, if I leave the house pups becomes upset but if she leaves to go for her walk with the dog walker it's fine. I think that getting your pups enough exercise is key really. A walk with lots of opportunity for sniffing does mean that you walk less to. Do you have somewhere close by where you can walk off lead, throw a ball etc?
Hi Cathyan,
If you feel she’s really wiping you out, it might be worth contacting The Cinammon Trust (cinnamon.org.uk/home/). They offer a dog walking service for people who aren’t physically able to walk their dogs due to ill health and help people keep their pets. (It’s also a great charity to volunteer for if you can’t have a dog for logistical reasons but would love to walk one regularly and don’t want to have to pay to do it). It can be temporary or an ongoing arrangement, and all of their volunteers have references checked . They do most of their work with elderly or terminally ill people but also sometimes work with disabled younger people or people who have significant long term health conditions, so it’s worth giving them a call.
P.S. if anyone’s having a bad day, their newsletter always cheers me up, it’s lovely hearing how walking the dog(s) has helped the owner and the walkers and there are lots of cute photos! (Christmas. 2021 newsletter: cinnamon.org.uk/wp-content/.... They also offer fostering services (e.g. when people go into hospital) and foster all kinds of pets.
Borrow my doggie is another good suggestion, though I think you might have to pay a fee to use their services.
Alternatively, it might be worth asking around if you have any friends or neighbours who might be able to help out with an extra longer walk a few times a week.
Another option if you have the funds is a local dog walking service, one of my friends has a Cockapoo and she works from home and finds he gets bored quite a lot. She has a local dog walker who takes him out a few times a week which works very well as he comes back tired and will then sleep through for longer. She used to send him to “doggy daycare” but that was a lot more expensive.
Thanks so much citygirl1234. Lots of useful information for me to look into there 🙏 Will check it all out.
I have 3 pups, my chi-mix named LUPUS, does nothing but sits in my lap. My Boston is/was the energy dog. My source of motivation, get to patio, get vitamin D, get a ball launcher, run him as much as I tolerated. I also have a female yorkie, her only job is to yap at the Boston as he tries to chase balls 😂 she has no desire to play, just voices her opinion, or maybe she’s motivating him 😂. My kids off to college too, and I’m caretaker of these dogs, some days hard. Getting dogs fixed will help somewhat, but…with the pandemic we have soooo many dog walkers, I stick to the middle school, high schoolers looking to make some cash, who ♥️🐶. Also, those treat toys, have you tried them? Worth a shot, keeps them busy. Sadly, my Boston struggling right now, may not have another spring with him launching ball 🎾. Good luck…please keep us updated in what works, I’m sure we all need solutions on the hard days! Best to you
Oh they are gorgeous Byourownadvocate 😍 I’m sorry that your Boston isn’t doing so well. I’m determined to get some treat puzzle toys now. They’re expensive and I’ve been putting it off. I hid treats in boxes inside boxes for a while like Russian dolls but she chewed them so much that picking up the pieces of cardboard almost made it not worth it. Also I was using medication boxes and thought that probably wasn’t a great idea incase she got hold of some still with pills in 🙄
Laughing, I get it, the clean up, how long can you tolerate etc…when they get an empty water bottle, sure it’s a distraction, but I can only tolerate that crackling noise so long…I always check online garage sales too in the “pet”section, I find some good items , well priced…
Oh that’s a good idea looking for second hand dog puzzle toys. Thank you Byourownadvocate
One wonders whether this is the wrong breed for those suffering chronic fatigue?
Cockapoos seem highly fashionable now being a cross between a poodle + spaniel but they are very “manic”!
I think the guy who invented this breed regrets it now?🧐😩 I used to board retired guide 🦮 🦮.
Wonderful calm, obedient and loving animals. No problems. Either for a few days or several weeks. I’m in charge.
Our son gets wheezy with most dogs after a few hours. Our last dog, a labradoodle, was fine but needed plenty of exercise and in my ignorance I thought a Cockapoo would need less being smaller 🙄
I think for sheer calmness and obedience labradors seem the choice that’s why Guide Dogs for the Blind choose them but they also reject many. All the retired ones are super calm and I’ve loved them all.
Hiya, Cathyan. I did the same, for different reasons, bought Pickle and 8 months later rescued Bubbu… tears were part of journey as Bubbu had all sort of issues. Got the best dog trainer😇 in London and he is much better. They play when we go out. Chase each other at home, tease our cats and we became a one big happy family. Pickle now has a friend and never lonely. Bubbu is safe and happy around Pickle and they leave me alone. If you opt for another dog, given introduced carefully, etc I think they can be great company to each other. Our dog trainer said what tire their mind as well and works, hiding their treats and let them find it. Kong’s are great if filled with raw food, or if you have cooked food, freeze it and give it in their crate to create a happy moment. I leave ours in Their create 2-3 hours with their frozen meat staffed kongs, they are happy. The trainer said if you make their mind works, they can be calmer as well. Treat train them to sit, roll over, sit pretty help to stimulate their mind and within 20 mins of treat work, they are as good as hold. We are only few months away from Being 2 and 1,5 years old.. but Pickle is already calmer ish☺️. And YouTube videos can also give you ideas. Hope this helps and love to all animal lovers xxxx
Ah good idea to hide the treats around the house. Should keep mine amused for ages. She loves playing hide and seek with her toys. Trouble is she hides them now and waits for us to find them. Bless her, she can't help but look in the direction of where she has hidden it. I am always amazed though at the decision making that goes into her hiding her toys for us to find. We watch in awe as she changes her mind etc until she's happy with her choice of hiding places. x
That’s really helpful to hear LalSD. Looking into the 2nd dog but also I know Lexi needs more training. She did puppy classes but they were a 45 minute drive away at 6pm which is my exhausted time and her run out madly (zoomies) time so not very successful 🙄
Hi there! I hope you enjoy years of happiness with your lovely girl-I find that my animals help me enormously, even if sometimes they are hard work! As someone who worked for many years in pet supplies /kennels /etc, one of the most popular things to get is a "Kong "rubber toy. They come in different levels of toughness (red average, black hard,blue soft)&sizes (buy bigger than you might think)&can be stuffed with almost anything! Vary the fillings, to keep your dog interested and try freezing your wet dog food maybe (watch the any carpets for mess!)...& take that from her food ration, not as an extra!
Keep it for times when you really need some peace,so that it is something for her to look on as a lovely reward, or work it into her routine.
As Cockers are a working breed, you maybe able to get her to "help" you around the house -try teaching her to "hold" and pick things up for you,if she's dashing around or under your feet. If she has little jobs to do, she's going to feel useful and appreciated!
Wishing you all the best with her! Hope this helps?
Aww thank you Mustgetaroundtoit. That’s really helpful. I’ll get a couple 🙏
You could split the walks up. I do sometimes. One in the morning, one in the afternoon and one early evening. I have always chosen dogs with lower energy though like a wheaten terrier or a bichon. They only need half an hour a day and are happy. You think you won't get through it but by two years old they generally calm right down but depends on their personality a bit and pack position when they were a pup. If it sticks by you when you go out for a walk it'll be easier quicker than if it runs off investigating things and forgets where you are. Two dogs are harder work as it's two to feed, walk, groom, vet fees but they do play together more instead of pestering you all the time. It will get easier in time.
Yep it's trying to cope with situation at hand now. If you cover up and even ten minutes can help them relax more when you get home. Throwing a ball in the garden if you have one but standing in shade if you can. It's not easy. Puppies are really like having a toddler for a while. Exhausting! I love my dog but this is my last, I don't always have the energy when he has energy. 😀 Hope all goes ok.🐩
You can train her to walk on a treadmill, get a fetch bucket machine
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