Rant: Sorry I just needed to have just a little... - LUPUS UK

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CecilyParsley profile image
43 Replies

Sorry I just needed to have just a little rant here. My GP referred me to the Mebtal Health Team for counselling in October. I have been struggling with my health and relationship issues and just felt overwhelmed. I got a letter within days asking me to ring for an appointment. I rang on the 8 th October and was only able to leave a message. I have been patient because I know that the demand on services and the added complications of Covid are unprecedented. This morning I get a letter from my GP saying that I had failed to respond? I rang the Mental Health Team again and was told we rang you on 26 th October. Now the only place I have been is to the surgery or hospital. She told me we don’t leave messages and as you did not pick up the phone we have dismissed the referral??? The upshot is I have now had to get my overstretched GP to complete another referral and if I am not ready to pick up the phone when they call again I will be dismissed again. I have never heard anything quite so ludicrous in my life. I am far more fortunate than most, I am not desperate, I have a roof over my head, plenty of food and I am loved. I seriously worry about those poor souls waiting for help that have none of these things 🤬🤬🤬

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CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley
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43 Replies
Main1234 profile image
Main1234

I would contact your local PALS and complain. It’s surprising how quickly you will get another appointment. Good luck

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply toMain1234

We don’t have PALS in Wales sadly. As I said for me I can wait until January but other people may be desperate xx

Spanielmadlady profile image
Spanielmadlady

I agree with Main....contact PALS x

Joni2011 profile image
Joni2011

Hi - mental health services have become even harder to access since covid (and more needed!), but there are some other options available for people to access.

You can refer yourself directly to an NHS psychological therapies service (IAPT) online. You don't need a GP referral, you just need to be registered with one. I think it's for talking therapies.

And search for 'mental health' on the NHS website and there are lots of tips and advice for different problems. And the NHS APPs library also has several good apps.

Being NHS, everything is approved by practitioners, etc.

Good luck - hope you find something that helps!

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley

Thank you but we do not have IAPT in Wales either x

Wendy39 profile image
Wendy39 in reply toCecilyParsley

Not much happens in Wales, does it?!?! I can’t believe what I’m reading. It just doesn’t make sense that someone referred for mental health issues could be dismissed so quickly!!!! I’m furious. Which is normal for me with the state of things here. From my experience, our Community Health Councils are “busy” and it can take weeks for them to get a letter of complaint in. I’m racking my brain wondering how else it could be dealt with. I know we can self refer to Physiotherapy but it’s not advertised or patients even told about that if they need it. The trouble is, any complaint takes so much energy and doesn’t progress your matter. I wish I could be of more use. I hope your GP understands and fights your corner! Hugs. xx

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply toWendy39

Hi Wendy, in fairness I have had such wonderful service from some GP’s and the ambulance and paramedic were superb. I could not fault their care and swiftness of response. My asthma is so brittle at the moment so that is my priority. Breathing is fundamental lol I was shocked by the response, one phone call unanswered and then the referral binned because someone could have been at the end of their tether. My GP surgery responded immediately again so hopefully back on track again. On a more positive note a respiratory consultant has agreed that my referral needs priority so hopefully I can be seen or spoken to soon. I hate being on my fourth dose of high dose steroids they make my gut problems so much worse and the insomnia is dreadful. I start to reduce my 5 mg tomorrow so hopefully things will remain stable. I hope that you are as well as you can be and have a very Happy Christmas 🎄🎁🎉🍾xxx🥂

Joni2011 profile image
Joni2011

Don't you? Oh, sorry! Try the apps? x

svfarmer profile image
svfarmer

That is outrageous Cecily - and rant away - I hope you get another appointment very soon xx

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply tosvfarmer

Thank you so much xx

Oshgosh profile image
Oshgosh

I’ve been reading the posts. In reply to your post.Does this mean that you you can’t access Cognitive Behaviour Theraphy inWales ?

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply toOshgosh

Yes it is available but the assessment has to come first. I have to say the previous twice in my life that I had the “ assessment” could not have been more soul destroying, uncomfortable and lacking in compassion. The first time a CPN with a tick box fired questions at me and pronounced that I was a high suicide risk. At that time I was 40 and after 8 years of fertility treatment had had to undergo an emergency hysterectomy. The CPN told me that she couldn’t have children but got over it and adopted. I walked out and did not get any help at all. The second time I had been just knocked back for my sixth pre op assessment I felt hopeless and just cried. The CPN told me that he found my rambling unhelpful, that he had limited time and if I did not stop talking he could not get through his questions?? Normally I would have let him have it but I had felt so bad I actually had taken a morphine overdose and just gone to bed. I was very fortunate that I woke up. He asked if I wanted counselling or Mindfulness. I asked if I could try both as I had never asked for any help before.He was so abrupt and said no I had to choose. I chose counselling. He then picked up he phone and said I have a woman here who is suicidal an you book her an appointment please. I left feeling so small and ashamed. Fortunately the counsellor was great and as she took the Mindfulness group I got to do that too.

MEGS53 profile image
MEGS53 in reply toCecilyParsley

Oh CP, how cruel of these so called health professionals. But you've made it through the darkness so many times and you can do it again. You're one very strong warrior 🦓 and I take my hat off to you.Be gentle with yourself, sending huge hugs, xxx

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply toMEGS53

Bless you Meg. I am so fortunate that I am not desperate this time and just happy to wait for help now. I am more annoyed that they have wasted my GP’s time now. I hope that you are as well as you can be lovely? Stay safe and have a lovely Christmas 🎄🎁🎉🍾🥂xxx

MEGS53 profile image
MEGS53 in reply toCecilyParsley

Please take time to think of YOU! 😘

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply toMEGS53

I will I promise. Thank you Meg xxx

Oshgosh profile image
Oshgosh

That sounds horrific.I’ve had 2courses of CBT.

Both times the assessment was done by phone.igot the impression that the Person doing the assessment was just filling in a form,Idont think that they were a !theerevery pleasant. Both assessments were done by phone,the first 2 years ago.

Idid my theraphyonline,because of Covid,there isn’t ant face to face theraphy.

I found it really useful.its helped me cope with issues arising from my multiple conditions.

I’m so sorry it’s been so hard for you

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply toOshgosh

I have to say I was so unimpressed with the two CPN’s especially as when I worked as a social worker I had the privilege to work alongside some wonderful CPN’s who made a huge difference to children’s lives. The counsellor ( we only have one in my area) is good, she listens and reflects on what you say. The Mindfulness sessions were not for me. I really struggled to sit quietly, I am gregarious by nature, and I felt uncomfortable in the hard chairs and struggled to think of anything other than my discomfort but I am pleased that I tried it. I am pleased that you have found something that works for you x

Forgot2mention profile image
Forgot2mention

Wow, that’s disgusting, so because you didn’t pick up the phone you have to go through all the rigmarol again, supposed to be psychic as to what time they are going to phone you, i’ m fuming for you. Hope you get another appointment soon .

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply toForgot2mention

Yes it is completely unacceptable. Our answerphone broke and the old phone we are using for the landline is corded and without an option to take a message so potentially it could happen again. My GP surgery were appalled as they were told I did not make contact with the Mental Health Team. It is a good job I keep all records of calls in my diary. As I said for me it is not a huge priority currently but for others it could be crucial xx

Oh gosh that’s terrible. I too have waited for a long time for psychology input and I’ve been patient for same reasons as you. I missed a call the other evening assuming it was a nuisance one. In fact it was a nurse from the hosoital phoning to ask if I was fine to come in on Monday for my infusions. She is busy too but tried again - didn’t assume anything. I mean for all they know you could be in the middle of a meeting at work or on the toilet?

I do think that’s truly abysmal and enough to send a person in more dire circumstances over the edge. Although also remember that those of us with rare and complex conditions and related uncertainty can have as much need as anyone else for talking therapies. X

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply to

Thank you yes you are right we do need help. Mind you I have to say that this site has helped me more than anything else I have tried because the wonderful people here know more than any therapist what life is like and how best to cope xx

CecilyParsley, sounds tough and frustrating. Each country within the UK handle allocation of NHS funds differently, calling them different names etc but ultimately there is a huge need for mental health support in the UK but a limited number of suitably trained and employed Healthcare providers. I am a Cognitive Behavioural therapist in Scotland. I would suggest that the NHS would give you a limited number of sessions which may not meet your needs fully and that at this time there will be people who need more urgent support than you. I would encourage you to seek remote therapy via a suitable source. I also wonder if there are any group supports being offered online, even a mediation group or chat forum. If you are looking for a therapist try counselling directory, psychology today and search locally too. You should be looking for someone who has experience of working with loss and chronic health conditions. They should be able to support you more fully. I would also look for people who are willing to offer you a reduced rate or students who are training. Students will all be supported by a fully qualified professional supervisor and may already have experience of working with chronic health.

Hope this helps. S

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply toTreading_carefully

Hi Sam thanks for your response. I am afraid the Mindfulness just did not work for me. I did the course but it offered me nothing useful. I felt uncomfortable physically and it just wasn’t my thing. I am far happier with the talking therapy than the group setting and the six sessions I had a few years ago really helped me to put things into perspective. I was simply overwhelmed and not getting sufficient help with my health. I wish that I could afford to look for a private therapist but that is not an option currently. I am sure when I get an appointment it will help me immensely. I appreciate your kindness and advice xx

Choccy8 profile image
Choccy8

Rant away Cecily! That sounds really frustrating and annoying. Even if someone hadn't responded to their letter, as you had, they should recognise that if people are struggling with anxiety or depression, they might not be super on top of things and at least try to ring a few times before giving up. I wonder why the NHS doesn't contact by email, it would be so much easier than these phone calls. I contacted my rheumatology team by email over the summer, as the helpline isn't operating. Instead of replying by email, they ring at 8 in the morning, before I'm downstairs, then don't ring back. More chasing up on my part. Then it all happens again - a 'one chance and you're out' phone call, though not that my situation was as annoying as yours. I hope you manage to get it sorted :)

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply toChoccy8

Hi Choccy, yes you are right an email or even a text would e so much more reliable. I am frustrated that the GP who I reached out to in a soggy mess responded immediately and now has to waste her precious time repeating the referral. I am so sorry you had a similar experience. It is just frustrating all around xx

flo_IarFachYrHaf profile image
flo_IarFachYrHaf

think you did need a rant - it sounds very unsatisfactory - as does other treatment of you that I read about in comments.

I've had a couple of assessments and for the last one had course of CBT, available in my GP surgery, much better than going by bus to unit as could go home straight afterwards; the therapist wan't to refer me for more help but I wasn't urgent/extreme enough and there was no funding.

I hope you find what you need. I now use my GPs and just tell them when things are difficult and that seems to help me and I know then that someone official knows. They are in charge of my medication as well.

flo_IarFachYrHaf profile image
flo_IarFachYrHaf in reply toflo_IarFachYrHaf

ps in Cymru/Wales too

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply toflo_IarFachYrHaf

Thank you flofflach my GP surgery is where I get the initial assessment with the CPN so I am certain they will feedback on the debarcle. I am pleased you got some help xx

Krazykat26 profile image
Krazykat26

Hi Cecily 🤗Rant away lovely..u have every right..it's not acceptable n hopefully your GP can sort it out for u!! Were not psychic..n we all have stuff to do..so one call n then discharge is totally out of order!! 😡

Unfortunately this is how it is..the NHS is underfunded generally n Mental Health comes right at the bottom of the list of priorities for the powers that be..this has always been the case sadly 😔

As an ex CPN I am appalled at how u have been treated at previous "assessments"..that is disgusting n tbh I'm glad I left when I did!!

Mental well-being is fundamental in coping with chronic illness let alone if there r other issues too. I should imagine that the mental health teams r incredibly overstretched currently!! With not a lot of support..for their own staff let alone people in need of help!!

Oh hello..I'm ranting now!!! 😡😡😡😹

I have found MIND really helpful..I'm not sure if u can access them from where u r..but I used to see a lovely lady there when I was first diagnosed n she's fabulous..feels good to be listened too n heard..I used to take my 'stuff' with me n we'd talk about it n then I'd chuck it on the imaginary fire that I'd made in the middle of the room!! 🔥Burn it baby!! 🌈😽😽Xx

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply toKrazykat26

Ha ha you are a tonic Kat. I can see that virtual fire and burn my fears, anxiety and anger but the sadness is harder to deal with. Thank you always for your humour, your kindness and for making life better for us here. You are amazing. No wonder you were a CPN. There are so many good ones I was just unfortunate to have had two complete arses. This time I understand that they are merely a means to an end, a hurdle to get to the counsellor who will help me rid myself of the sadness hopefully and find my positivity and joy in life again. Have a wonderful Christmas lovely 🎄🎁🎉🍾🥂 xxx

stiff19 profile image
stiff19

Sorry to hear this cecily I too would make complaint to pals if you feel up to it, but don’t distress yourself stay strong and take care, maybe your go can help and take some of the strain of situation for you 🤗xx

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply tostiff19

We have no PALS in Wales. I will be ok thank you so much. It just struck me as ludicrous that they wold ring and the discharge of the phone wasn’t picked up. Someone might be desperate and in need of help. Have a lovely Christmas 🎄🎁🎉🍾🥂 xxx

stiff19 profile image
stiff19 in reply toCecilyParsley

It strikes me the same way . It’s very frustrating , unless your phone shows missed calls and who from then you wouldn’t even be certain they had. You should also be forewarned the call will take place , you cannot just discharge someone for a missed call ‘a’ . It’s just an angry insight into the workings of the nhs lately and it’s not at all nice to be on the receiving end of this, I understand how you feel, I hope it gets sorted cecily and hope you are ok , this is all so incompetent, especially as just adds more stress to you or anyone on the end of it🙏 We are always here for you to rant and offload, take care 😍 you have a lovely Xmas , 🤗🙏xx

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply tostiff19

The very best gift for me this year is the friendship, support, humour and understanding from people here. You have undoubtedly helped save my sanity and given me so much joy along the way xxx

stiff19 profile image
stiff19 in reply toCecilyParsley

Likewise cecily and a pleasure all round and it will continue 🙏😍 you have given what you have received and more , 🤗xx

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply tostiff19

🥰😘xx

Frosty1960 profile image
Frosty1960

I feel for you thats soul destroying, I hate all this phonecall carry on has 2 calls this week from different departments both adding to my medication, I have 3 pages of repeat meds already i worry incase they cause bad reaction. On the plus side did get approx time and date for calls that is shocking what happened to you I always give my mobile number as more chance of reaching me although some still insist on using home phone number think i will remove it from record. Hope you get the call next time and they can actually give you some help.

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply toFrosty1960

Thank you I hope so too. I am glad that you are at least getting telephone contact xx

Frosty1960 profile image
Frosty1960

Hopefully my gp will check them against what i am on already sure he will, good luck with your call.

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley in reply toFrosty1960

Thank you so much xx

Kevin53 profile image
Kevin53

We are all in this together. The mental health issues from Covid are immense and our devolved NHSs’ are total confusion. Let’s drive this discussion further. Sincerely Kevin

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley

Yes we are Kevin. I do not know anyone unaffected by isolation, anxiety, grief, loss and health issues.

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