Children returning to school?: In September we’re... - LUPUS UK

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Children returning to school?

Jonnyred profile image
19 Replies

In September we’re told we must send our 5 year old back to school for year 1. Do you think it’s ok to allow our child to return to school? We all know that if there’s one sure fire way of getting a cold or flu, when our kids return to school.

Do we have to return them to school and if you have kids, what are you doing?

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Jonnyred profile image
Jonnyred
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19 Replies
Lizard28 profile image
Lizard28

Hi, I’m in Scotland and our children have been back a few weeks now. My grandson loves school but he is finding all the rules a bit annoying. He fell and his teacher would not let him clean it, then another teacher handed him a plaster. He is not allowed to use his new pencils but only the ones supplied by the school, they are coming out class by class and it takes him over 15 minutes to leave the school, they go out at playtime at different times and lunches take longer and when his class goes in for lunch he doesn’t have time to finish it, his gym time is now outside and they are not allowed to get changed in school anymore, but on the whole he still loves it and is glad to be back, I guess this is going to be the new norm for the foreseeable future, I hope we don’t go into another lockdown, it would be devastating.

Spanielmadlady profile image
Spanielmadlady

Hi Jon.Two sides of the coin here.Both my daughter and son in law are key workers so my granddaughter (6) has been in school without any issues although I appreciate class sizes and bubbles will have been much smaller then they might be in sept. She has adapted to the new school routine ok and seems happier for the routine and stimulation.

My son is due to return to college next month. Im extremely nervous about this as I'm extremely clinically vunerable.my concern is what he might unwittingly bring home so he will have to wear full ppe, sanitize and get changed which I know isnt practical for everyone especially small children (although my granddaughter likes wearing the face masks I made for my daughter so I've just made her some of her own )

I think its going to be more stressful for us then it is for them xx

Horsewhisper profile image
Horsewhisper

Hi Jonnyred, my two are teenagers (13 and 17) and were happy enough attending classes delivered in real time via online during lockdown. In fact, they are more than happy not to go back! No early morning rush for the bus, a more relaxed routine at home etc. However, I feel that their attendance at school/college is important for their overall development as well as social/comms/people skills. They have kept in touch with their friends/met up online via social media but I am a little concerned that our reclusive-like existence during the past 5 months could potentially be damaging to them. I am in the extremely clinically vulnerable category and I have a review appointment on 27th Aug to assess my current health status/meds/risks. We have a plan as a family for me to isolate from my kids within our living environment if we feel they should return to school. We also have a plan for them to continue online learning if it’s deemed too risky for them to return. The school is aware of our situation and will continue to provide live-online learning to those at home. I realise my kids are older than yours and attend secondary school/6th form, so different learning provisions are in place - but the same decision process needs to be looked at - weighing up the risks of infection with the benefits of going to school. A conundrum for sure. Maybe have a chat with your school to see if they can accommodate home schooling for a little longer if you feel it is too risky for you? I hope the situation works out for you. Xx

Spanielmadlady profile image
Spanielmadlady in reply to Horsewhisper

With WHO suggesting over 12s should wear face masks would your children be willing to wear ppe ? My sons college knows our situation too but part of the engineering course he started last year is in the workshop (which is easier for social distance) which obviously cant be done online.we have had 4 cases here in the last 2 weeks ( if the local paper is to be believed!) and should things deteriorate only going into college for workshop time might be an option open to us. 🤞It's ok government advisers say send them back they are low risk but that's no reassurance to those of us who are ecv and I think there needs to be an understanding and flexibility between the genuine evc and schools x

Horsewhisper profile image
Horsewhisper in reply to Spanielmadlady

Yes indeed - totally agree with you. Thankfully we have the understanding of the school which is most fortunate. My daughter who is doing art A level may just go in for art sessions where she can access the art facilities and do her other A level subjects on line. They’re happy to wear masks, so that could be an option. Lots to think about...if the kids had a choice, they’ll happily hang out at home... maybe that’s a good thing in the grand scheme of things. If you’re ok with it, do let me know how you get on with your son returning to college sml, it’s useful to know someone in a similar situation. Xx

Spanielmadlady profile image
Spanielmadlady in reply to Horsewhisper

Yes I will do.my son is happy to wear masks too.(i made some in his favourite colour) he also has a face shield and gloves and I keep them in the car so we are never without.college was very good just before we went into lockdown and we had agreed I could pull him out without penalty so I'm expecting the same support when he goes back.

Good luck to your daughter with her art A level.id love to see some of her work sometime xx

Horsewhisper profile image
Horsewhisper in reply to Spanielmadlady

It’s good to hear that your son’s college has been so supportive - so reassuring for you. I’ll get some pics of my daughters art and post them here for you xx

stiff19 profile image
stiff19

I am fearful myself as when colds etc bought home I always get ill to a much greater extent than rest of family and schools are not best environment for bugs etc .

I was thinking how much happier and less anxious my daughter has been at home with definately no mental health problems , quite the opposite and came across an article this morning saying this has been the case for many children, improvement to their health and well being. I think for many there is a bigger interest in learning with less anxieties to deal with which school can bring. My daughter suffered bad bullying but add To that lack of control over certain children the disruptions at school this brings, the noise levels my daughter struggles with and there breeds the anxiety for many. Her favourite teachers have left, at least 12 teachers including the head have left since Covid so all new staff. I would be more than happy for my daughter to learn at home or at least part time maybe they could have appointments with things they’re struggling with work wise in small groups. I don’t have the answers but reclusiveness verses anxiety and bullying 🤷‍♀️ Maybe the way in which children are educated needs looking into. We are all different , one size does not fit all, some kids love the school environment some don’t and can be detrimental to some. My daughter loves the learning just not the environment and returning with Is showing the old anxieties added to with Covid worries. I am hiding my concerns from her but I am not happy or confident in her returning.

Horsewhisper profile image
Horsewhisper in reply to stiff19

Ditto Stiff - my daughter said that she has felt more relaxed and happier learning from home - and hasn’t missed the 6th form politics. I too read the article - maybe the pandemic situation will help highlight and possibly address anxieties relating to some kids learning in a school environment. Let’s hope so. I know you are with me on this, but you can’t put a price on happiness and they aren’t kids for long - we may well go for a mix of some school attendance for practical sessions (art) and the rest study from home. If it helps my girl with her well being and helps me in minimising the contact with bugs, then it can only be a good thing. Could that combo of some school/some learn from home work for you and your daughter? A lot to think about and to contend with - especially when we need to put on our brave faces for them 🤗😘

stiff19 profile image
stiff19 in reply to Horsewhisper

Thanks hose whisperer for reply, yes I really just thought we have to send them as they were saying they would be fining those who don’t return. The school she attends are not offering anything, just say govt say that every child should return to school but it is something I will be looking into more now.

I hope this gets looked into but I won’t hold my breath as feel we have an incompetent govt with no interest in what is best for well being,just my opinion.

Not only would this and working from home help the present situation with pandemic but with less travel for work and school will help environment a little also.🤷‍♀️

Yes I agree it’s exhausting with everything to contend with isn’t it. Wishing you and your family all the best👍🙏😘🤗

Horsewhisper profile image
Horsewhisper in reply to stiff19

Thanks for your kind wishes Stiff, always so gratefully received! Yes there are lots of mixed messages from the gov which I think only adds to the uncertainty. I just did a quick google now and some newspapers have reported that parents won’t be fined if kids don’t return, but the family must have a good reason for the non-return. (But some papers have reported that they must return, more mixed messages!) Could a letter from your GP to the school help with your situation? Totally agree on the commute costs/environmental impact etc and if it helps your daughter avoid the nasty bullies, well that’s the biggest winner. She can feed the chooks at breaktime and have an omelette for lunch, how nice would that be?! 🐓🐔🐤 Big and best wishes to you all too, I hope it all works out for you in the best way possible xxx

stiff19 profile image
stiff19 in reply to Horsewhisper

😂 as everyone Thankyou horsewhisper I think I have some feelers to put out . The bullies are the kind that don’t care less about punishment and the school ...well.... I had to get police involved and beaurocracy just meant long haul where school concerned with logging every event but doing nothing. Even more fearful with Covid 😩 I will see what we can do 🤞 yes she would be happy with omlette lunch 😂😂 a big omlette too, the record for our biggest egg was 84g but beaten yesterday and today with 89g and 88g, such big eggs 🥚😂😂😂

Best wishes 😘🤗

Horsewhisper profile image
Horsewhisper in reply to stiff19

Whopping eggs! You must have some very happy chooks in your coup! ❣️🌟🐓 Sorry to hear about the extent of the bullying, really rather horrid for you all. My daughter had some nasty bullying over social media a couple of years ago as well as the physical exclusion from friendship groups, being left out of things etc. She is quite circumspect about it all now, knows that they have the shortcomings/messed-up lives that cause them to bully people and she knows that none of it is her fault. She can now spot a bully a mile off and steers well clear, so we’ve tried to find the positives from the experience, as difficult as it has been. I do feel for you. My daughter is such a kind, sensitive soul, who wouldn’t even think about hurting another person, it was so hard to see her suffer so much. But we got through it eventually.

I had my Rheumy telephone appointment today and he said the kids can go to school if we want them to, but they must change their clothes as soon as they get in the house, put them in a hot wash and jump in the shower to decontaminate. They must adhere to all Covid school rules and social distance at school at all times. I must keep shielding well into next year 🙆‍♀️🤷‍♀️ (well I don’t mind too much as it means I can hang out with my horses 🐎 and woofler 🐶for longer!) and avoid any situation that puts me at risk. He said that due to my suppressed immune system, I have a higher chance of catching Covid, but due to high dose steroids, I may have a better outcome if I did catch it, than originally thought at the beginning of lockdown. Anyway.....I know that the kids can revert to learning from home if it I feel it is all getting too stressy for them and risky for me particularly with other winter bugs etc, so I have that option. So I feel a little more assured but a bit nervous about it all at the same time? A strange feeling to say the least! I hope you manage to get some answers that help you Stiff with decisions to be made about school, and hopefully a solution can be found. Take good care and keep us posted about your wonderful chooks! 🥚 🍳😋xxx

stiff19 profile image
stiff19 in reply to Horsewhisper

Ah so glad your poor daughter is over it now, but it’s such an awful thing for them and us to go through isn’t it. My daughters was never resolved the school were failing her I feel and though turned from physical to verbal in that sense the lockdown sad to say but was a good timing reprieve for her. She also has no bad bones and she is a tough cookie, but the mental strain of it all was hard for us both, the physical for her was not pain but it being so demeaning. I think she finds it hard to make friends and the few friends she does have get bullying too but because she don’t fear them as her friends do and doesn’t let them see it bothers her they do it all the more as if trying to break her. Trouble is it does break her inside and hurts like hell to see it when she comes home.ive also been teaching her it’s their shortcomings and she does understand but 🤷‍♀️ Just makes school life hell, which should be the time of life they enjoy. My son who is much older looks back at school with no fondness but it’s different he didn’t feel a need to fit in like she does, I just fear it torments her and the crowd of undesirables seems to larger than the decent kids now.

So glad you spoke to rheumy that sounds reassuring somewhat and hope it helps the children too.

I’m sure one way or the other we will work things out and I understand you perfectly being a little reassured yet nervous these are very strange times aren’t they.

I have another telephone appointment with the neurologist next week so 🤷‍♀️

Take good care and I hope all goes well if children return to school. Stay safe and yes enjoy hanging with your lovely animals for longer 👍🙌🏻😘🤗

Horsewhisper profile image
Horsewhisper in reply to stiff19

Thanks Stiff - yes it is hard for youngsters who get bullied and I think maybe tougher for girls as there is probably more of a desire to socially connect and belong to a group, more so than boys. So it’s a triple whammy - suffering the effects of the bullying as well as being left out, isolated and feeling different for the reasons that they are being bullied for. Also, as you know, girls can also really crank up the psychological bullying more than boys. At least we know what it’s all about and we can guide them through the bullying minefield. Good luck to you and your girl on the return to school 🤞will be thinking of you both..,

Hope your appointment with Neuro goes well next week, fingers crossed that you get the answers you need, it’s such a journey through the diagnostic wilderness isn’t it? Catch up soon 🤗😘👍❣️

stiff19 profile image
stiff19 in reply to Horsewhisper

Yes girls are very different, I used to think 🤔 no they can’t be until my daughter started growing up 😂😂

Thankyou so much hw 🙏 take care 😘🤗🙌🏻🐝

Treetop33 profile image
Treetop33

I'm keeping mine home and have registered her at an online school for the year. It's not ideal and I'm trying to find opportunities for socially distanced play dates to keep her going. All this could have been avoided if they had reduced community transmission to near zero and created vulnerable group bubbles in school. At the best of times other parents are proven to be careless about disabilities, meaning I almost always get a nasty bug in November which means I have a flare.

I have explained to my daughter that it is a short year out of her life to keep her and us safe for the rest of her life. She is quite Covid aware so does understand.

stiff19 profile image
stiff19 in reply to Treetop33

Yes there are careless parents but daughters school never give anything but attendance a second thought, their policy is even if your child is ill send them to school , we will decide if they’re ill or not😡 even when my daughter was taken I’ll at school with tonsillitis she sat for four hours in the medical room before I was contacted, so practically the whole day to get both morning and afternoon attendance marks . 3 days off school and I get letters about attendance , everyone gets ill at sometime, then there’s the home situation of others infected ,and they don’t know families medical conditions. The online may not be ideal but I’d rather that than her go to school , her father being vulnerable also and self employed.

Very scarey .

Roarah profile image
Roarah

I start back in a primary school next week and can not wait. We are closed in person on weds. For cleaning but will still have classes online. Masks will be worn by both staff and students. Most studies show that infection spread has been pretty safe in schools which remained open for essential families so I feel good.

My thirteen year old misses school so much and found online to be incredibly basic and under simulating but sadly her grade's advance placement group is starting online on the 9th and will not return in person until the 17th. She can not wait. I feel the benefit of her education and emotional well being far outweigh the low risks when our cases are less than 10 per 100000.

My state allows all families to opt out if they choose to. As an educator I feel this is very risky. I wish a doctor's note was needed.

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