Does anyone else struggle getting their children to school?

I have had to keep my daughter off school today because im in too much pain to get her there,ive phoned the school asking for help and they said theres nothing they can do! the school is 5 minutes away but it might as well be 10 as i just cant walk it! i havent lived here long and i dont know anyone,i have even posted on the local community site begging for help...i know that if i see someone begging for help i would offer but no one has answered,im so tearful and feel very very down i feel so alone!

9 Replies

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  • I used to Kat. The school put me in touch with other parents locally prepared to help me out (and vice versa) but I'm guessing they no longer do this in case it involves them in some future "incident" leading to litigation. Hugs to you hun - I know only too well how you're feeling. You should ring Social Services and see what help they may be able to offer or suggestions they can make. You are not alone :) xxx

  • hello katknapp

    this really saddens me, as the school run is very hard when you hurt so walking is almost impossible sometimes, i know how you feel as i to in the past have struggled to walk,however my kids are teenagers and get themselves to school now (thankgod) but for me i did have help i just found it really hard to ask for it so i carried on reguardless and like you left them off at school.

    i wonder how serious your chat was with the school,maybe when you feel better you should go into school and have a chat with the head and be honest about how difficult it is as im sure the head doesn t want your child to miss too much school anyway.

    also with your daughter being at school you can take the oppotunatly to relax and rest which is asmost near impossible when kids are home alday.

    many schools have volunteers who come in daily maybe ask about that. its a difficult one and i feel for you if i lived near i would gladly help.

  • Hi Katnapp,

    I'm so sad for you that you are in pain and struggling with getting your children to schol. Do you know that social workers/family support workers/vounteer care agencies are able to help with this sort of thing. Sometimes the first phone call to ask for help is the hardest. A social worker could assess your need if you are having difficulty and then be able to tell you what is on offer in your area and be able to co-ordinate this for you. They could do any liaison with schools for you too. Your GP would be able to make this call for you to access some help, particularly if you say you are struggling. Please do not make the assumption that these services will do anything other than want to help you.

    As a 50 year old woman I know how much I have struggled the past year and my heart goes out to people who are trying to raise a family with this condition as I don't know if I could. If must feel like you are climbing a mountain before you are out of the door.

    Please keep us updated and I will keep my fingers crossed that you are able to access the support you need too xx

  • Thank you all for your kind replies,i dont think the school can understand just what its like to try and walk when all your joints are flashing in pain,the attitude was oh your only 5 minutes away, i will go and see my doctor and see if he can get me some help,things seem very uphill at the moment for mex

  • R they old enough 2 walk with friends? I have the same problem, my kids' school is a 15 minute walk (takes me about 40 now lol!) so some mornings, if my meds aint kicked in, I put my 2 in a taxi. Ok, it's not ideal, but luckily the Taxi firm I use r brilliant & they send the same driver every time 4 them, I have his ID number, he drops them off at the main entrance & the school secretary sends me a text 2 say they have arrived. Just 2 clarify, they r 8 & 10. Fair enough, it costs & it's money I could do without spending out but sometimes it has 2 b done. I have enquired 2 SS b4 & explained my difficulties but was told unless I lived a certain distance away from the school (can't remember what they said it was now) that there was nothing they could do. It's not just doing the school run, it's actually getting them up & sorted too, especially if u're feeling like s***!

  • Hi,

    i can fully sympathise as i was in exactly the same situation. Get in touch with your local childrens social services. They used to come and collect my children and take them too and from school, they were fantastic. Also get in touch with adult social services and explain to them that you need help with being a parent to your children and they should be able to come and assess you and your needs.

    look on the government website, there is a payment to help you be independent so you can employ a carer for an hour or 2 a day, the name of the benefit keeps changing.

    Otherwise the school should be able to recommend a good taxi company that runs other children to school so at least you know you they are safe.

    hope this helps

  • Nothing fab here. I have a 13yr special needs child to get ready and to school (single parent). Somedays it really had for me and him. I have asked for help - been accessed and turned down as I chose for him to go to a school nearer where we live (3miles away) with a 6th for provision for specil needs children and that was all on one level, and knocking 100miles aweek of our travelling - rather than sending him 12 miles away to a specialist unit..

    So - no help or funding for him. Also no male help with personal hygine either...

    The morning are the worst for me as it take me ages to get going, and the pain is really bad...

    xx

  • Hi Hun,

    I really do empathise with you, I've been going through the same. I've written my own blog inresponse to you as there must be a lot more of us out there suffering with the same problem. I'm now getting lots of assistance so check out my blog 'where to get help with children, chores etc' - I really hope it helps. Any questions please don't hesitate to ask. Chin up xxx

  • Hi, you are not alone in this predicament. I was diagnosed after I got an infection from a c-section. My twin boys aged just 6 months at my diagnosis. I went to my GP once and through talking I burst into tears. She was great and worked through her lunch with me. She filled in the forms for social services for me not the children, she also said for me to phone as the forms take a while. You can also just phone up social services yourself and ask for help. They sent out an ot to assess me and my needs and that of my family. They helped me with equipment but also started me on the process to get a carer. You are helped along the process and you do the interviews etc that way you get a person you like. We are now in a much better place as a family. Its not unfortunately a quick fix but a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Its called Direct Payment. You get given an amount of hours per week how you use them is up to you. You could get somebody to come in at say 8am to help get the children ready for school and walk them as well (they are not supposed to shower the children but can get them dresses) they are your help not the children's but they are to assist you in being a mum, or that's what is in my carers contract (she had to have an advanced child check paid for by social services due to the children's presents). They would then come back from the school run and help you get showered or breakfast, cleaning doing clothes washing or even preparing the evening meal for you.

    It is also possible for the social services in some cases to have an agency or care staff employed by them to come in before you have actually employed somebody to give you immediate assistance. This is different in every local council area as they all have different rules.

    We were also passed on to Homestart who have a volunteer come in once a week to play with the children to give you a bit of time off. Our boys are now 6 and are now members of the local young carers group. In our area this is run by Barnardos. They have activities most Saturday mornings and trips during the summer. They even get to go away for a couple of days on a residential.

    One final thought when you go see the head teacher ask if it would be possible that on your worst days a teaching assistant etc would be able to come to walk your children to school this is a long shot and has insurance complications etc (you could say you would sign a form saying you would not hold them responsible if anything happened before they get to the school gates).

    I hope that you feel better soon and that some of the information helps you. Good luck and best wishes to you and your family.

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