The scene: my hallway, this morning. I am on the phone to my GP, discussing the results of my recent synacthen test.
Me: Thank you for sending me the copy of the endo's report to Dr Rheumy. He recommends that my thyroid markers should be re-tested in 3 months. Does he organise that then?
GP: No. He's discharged you from his care.
Me: So Dr Rheumy will organise it?
GP: No, not usually.
Me: *waits*
*crickets chirping*
......ok, so you will?
GP: ......er.....would you like me to?
Me: Is there anyone else?
GP: Well...you could....um.....
Me: I only know that the endo wanted that to happen at all because I asked you to give me a copy of the letter.....but now it's come up, yes, I would like you to schedule that for me please.
GP: Righto then, I will put a reminder in your notes
Me: Thank you. That reminds me of the neurologist report sent to you last November. I had raised CK levels then. Did he suggest a repeat CK level?
GP: Er...let me see.....ah, yes.
Me: Soon?
GP: ...um...no, no. It's not urgent. It just says to repeat it.
Me: I see. So when is that scheduled for?
GP: When would be convenient for you?
Me: Don't worry. I can magically get my own readings LIKE I CAN MAGICALLY READ THE REPORTS YOU ARE GETTING ABOUT ME AND NOT BOTHERING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT
GP: You're welcome.