Firstly, thank you for all your kind words and thoughts. I haven't been on for a while and just being discharged from hospital after 4 weeks.
Prognosis is they think I may have had a mini stroke/blood clot on brain, though all my test and scans were clear they think the volume of steroids I have been on since Nov may have masked the clot. I have triple positive APS antibodies and high lupus activity.
It's been very scary and realisation has definitely kicked in as to how serious this illness is. I had my first Rituximab infusion last week, I did have a reaction followed by various side effects. My next one is on Fri and I'm scared. I also being started on Gabapentin as I have lost use of my right hand. This is making life very difficult as I am right handed and I'm struggling with day to day activities. I live on my own and obviously off work.
My pay is due to go down to half pay next month and I am a mess. I can't physically go back to work yet or even cope on my own and still trying to accept my health is deteriorating quickly. I look nothing like me.
Sorry for my post but I have no idea where to turn, how to feel, what to do and I am so scared but I feel like I can't open up to my family or partner as I think they have had enough.
Big hugs to you all 😌