It's been a long time coming. I have asked my partner to leave.
He was a weight around my neck and life is hard enough without that. I needed strength, he gave me weakness. I needed a friend, he leant on me. My girls needed a laugh, he made them feel low.
I know it is the right thing to do. I've always been really independent till I got this dreaded illness. Now, even though I want us to part, I'm scared of being on my own. He has never done much, but he would do things like drive the girls to school if I was in a flare etc.
I now have to care for my 8 year old daughter too. She has been poorly for 3 months with a suspected muscle disease. I have to lift her and do almost all of her personal care. I was already doing that before, but now I will be completely alone with it.
Am I weak to think like this?
My girls will be so much happier when he leaves, but I'm still scared.
She is having an OT assessment soon, so that should help.
My other daughter who is 13, is struggling emotionally. I got ill 18 months ago and now her little sister is ill.
I know we will get there eventually, but the journey is daunting to say the least.
I can't work, which means I can't provide for them financially.
I don't want to put too much pressure on my older daughter and I definitely don't want her to slip into being my carer.
Thanks for reading. Sorry for going on.