Lack of motivation

Does anyone know if lupus is also related to a part of the brain not functioning that has something to do with motivation? I am finding lately that I am unable to get up out of bed, or off the couch. I dont feel depressed in any way really. I am just tired, and unmotivated. I dont even want to make my own breakfast anymore. Or lunch or dinner. When you hear those words, it sounds like depression, but I think it is more than that. A part of the brain malfunctioning. I also noticed my heart beat is rather slow. I know I have a mitral valve prolapse my entire life. I wonder if at 53, I am just tired of working hard all the time.

I again, have an opportunity for a full time job, but not sure I can handle the long hrs, commuting and coming home to cook dinner every night. I know I am sounding like I am whining, but I really dont know if I can do it physically. I feel like I will have a heart attack. I try to explain this to my husband, and he just gets quiet.

I feel like I am just making excuses. Should I be working till I drop like everyone else in the world?

10 Replies

  • Hi. Sometimes I feel that too but I guess it's just me that feel tired. With lupus we get tired more than other people and I sometimes I am confused too is it because of the disease or me being lazy.

  • "Should I be working till I drop like everyone else in the world?"

    Strangely - not everyone in the world works like that! It seems to me to be a very anglo-saxon thing that is particularly to be found in the USA and UK. In many other countries there is a rather more laid-back approach to life - and while we may not be financially as well off there is a quality of life that is priceless.

    I think lack of motivation is part of autoimmune disease - and I suspect it may be your body telling you to slow down. There is a difference between being ill and being lazy. I do what I want to - and the things I don't want to do do get left lying until I have to do them. I work on the principal that if my husband really can't take it - he will do it or pay someone to do it.

    I do, however, appreciate that when you live and work in the societies that do work until they drop it can be very difficult to opt out, especially in the US where it may be the difference between having healthcare and not.

  • My entire family lives in the US. My sister met her husband in college. He was from the Netherlands. And that is where they have been living for the past 30 yrs. We all joke about how she will live the longest because she is the least stressed. Granted her husband supports her, and she has never worked a day in her life even though she has a phD in physics. Bless her.

    My husband and I have been stressed for 20 years that we are together. I never had a well paying job to begin with, and chose to stay home and raise our daughters because that was most important to me and him. He is a now retired carpenter because his body is broken, and is making very little money at a hardware store. His parents are helping us with finances still.

    We stayed in NY where most of our families are, and are both in our 50s now and literally broken physically, spiritually and mentally. Still being held here by our families because they dont want us to leave.

    I do believe my spirit is broken, and that may be why I can't get out of bed. And I do believe it may be my body telling me to slow down.

    I am hoping in 2 years, when our last daughter graduates high school, that my husband and i have the clarity and strength to leave this state and go elsewhere.

    Thank you for responding

  • Hi Natura. So sorry you are feeling so down. I too have no motivation to get up in the morning and when my husband says what shall we have for tea my heart sinks because I don't want to do anything. I thought it was just my age but I think this is all part of Lupus so just don't try to do too much. Hope you feel better soon

  • Thank you Gery. Its rough isnt it? I got off the couch today to take in the garbage cans. Lol. Was thinking of taking a small walk. I am going to push myself a little, and do that. The fresh crisp air will be good for me.

    Take care

  • Push yourself to do the nice things - the less nice things will come later! Even deciding what to have for tea...

  • I definitely empathise. I think that when you're suffering with pain and fatigue all the time it is very difficult to be motivated!

  • Maybe that is it. I feel less pain now. It was bad when I got up. I had a deep tissue massage yesterday. It wasn't all pleasant. Actually it hurt. Felt like he was pushing on my bones. And I am not that thin. It just hurt for him to touch my muscles at all. I woke up with my hands swollen.

    Feel bad. Didn't get out for my walk yet. My daughters parrot was screaming at me to let her out. She is getting quite spoiled.

  • That doesn't sound like a very nice massage! Sometimes hurting might be OK but to wake swollen isn't.

    Take care and I how you get your walk soon. X

  • Hi nature. As u no I suffa wiv burning brain.vertgo as well I'm sure vertgo started it of .but I cleaned 21houses a wek. On my own .my wheels was burning Rubery. Ha.but wiv the brain thing .I'm like that .just don't want to do nothing everything effect. And my depression good at mo .immediately OK. But God I don't want do no think. I fink everything catching up wiv u.slow yr hrs down in work .driving bk forwood. Over yrs .can take a toll.i I've got 3 kids until late they lived wiv him ha.i dint work.but I did as single lady .u got a partner kids let them help u a bit. Don't fill u letting them down .u just take time out do wat u want.good luck 😊

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