Seriously Fed Up :*(

I think I have finally got to the point where I am completely 100% over Everything!!!!!!

Although I was really against the idea of anti-depressants. I think this is the only option left for me in order for me to get by.

I don't think I even care if I turn into a zombie, (my personality and everything about me has been stripped away anyway) so if I can get by with a fake smile and see bunnies & sunshine then so be it.

I am sooo sick of constant having 'Split Personality Disorder'. I Cannot stand work,(and hearing the same old pathetic rants over the stupidest things) and just people in general. I just wanna scream f*£# & leave me alone!

I have Zero tolerance & Everything (I mean Everything annoys me) even my partner has said the same. He feels I'm always on his case, even for the smallest things..

I know there are others out there who have it worse off, and feel selfish for complaining but I am really struggling mentally.

I'm seeing a therapist in London, but need to find something closer to home, but even that is gonna be too much energy...having to go to go through everything again! mehhhhhhhh

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  • Hi chucch,

    Sorry to hear you are feeling this way,

    If you need to talk, obviously, please continue to use this forum, but please also get in touch with us if you'd like somebody to talk too on 01708 731251. We have contacts all over the UK that have lupus themselves so they can understand and are there to listen.

    Take care,

    Hayley

    LUPUS UK

  • Please go and see your gp and explain how you are feeling. Depression is an illness and one that can be treated. If you have reached this point you need some extra help. Why not print out your post from above and take it with you. It perfectly explains how you are feeling. Good luck x

  • Go girl - I was laughing at your text because I have so been there. The emotion the guilt the lack of energy. Yup Anti D have really helped feel more like the old me, sense of humour back looking forward again for the first time in ages and people less annoying - but sometimes I fake it so I can let rip lol.

    If its any help I didn't become a zombie, still forget things sure, but the anxiety, the depression, the short temper have all reduced - they take about 2 months to start kicking in and it feels like nothing is happening at first but start you and you'll be on the turn around for xmas.

    All the best

  • Thank you all very much for your replies! I really appreciate it.

    I made sure I went home & had a nap then followed by a good nights sleep.

    I know i'm due on, so i'm wondering if this has anything to do with my moods (but it's hard to tell these days lol)

    Will kick myself up the butt and 'Suck it up Buttercup!!!!'

  • I was feeling like that 2 days ago, really felt like leaving everything and doing nothing at all, but then I realised what the course was lack of slep was frustrating me and head hurt so bad it was unblevible so that went on for 4 night and last night with help of sleeping pills I had a good night slep and this morning I was feeling way better then the past few days. Maybe could be coz ur due, who nws these days. :)

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