Looking fantastic.

[58trinity]

Hello all, i was diagnosed with terminal T4 N1 MO adenocarcinoma six months ago, have had 4 week course of radical radiotherapy (only option due to Kidney problems) I felt rough as hell at times and still do occasionally, the thing is , everybody say's how fantastic and healthy i look. Has anyone else experienced this? it is getting to the stage that i feel like a bit of a fraud for not looking worse.I am sure that it will come in time, but i start wondering that there is nothing wrong with me, even though i know that is not correct.

Tony.

[Cockailschemocancer]

Take the compliments - some people tolerate treatment better than others. I think people also thing we should look like we are on deaths door! Not always the case thankfully! Don’t worry about it! Best wishes

[Marla222]

I had a friend who was terminal for quite a long time. She did look really well most of the time. It was only the last time I saw her (about 6 week before she died) that she looked poorly. She got on with it, she lived and although I knew it, I never saw how poorly she was. Take the wellness and looking well. You are definitely not a fraud, even though you are terminal, you don't need to look it. None of us really know how long we have. So live every day the best you can. Take care 💜

[Manninmaid]

Really sorry to hear about your diagnosis but glad you are looking well. I think a lot of people on hearing that someone is terminally ill expect them to look extremely poorly, yet that isn’t always the case. I too have stage 4 adenocarcinoma, which has metastasized in my bones. Diagnosed in 2016. I am often told how well I look and am delighted with the compliment. We are not frauds as our diagnoses are factual but I think we should enjoy looking as well as possible as long as possible. Enjoy the compliments. 😊

[JanetteR57]

never ever feel a fraud - I remember feeling that way when on a respiratory ward (prior to my diagnosis ) and all the medical students came into speak to the much older ladies who had lung cancer whereas I'd been diagnosed as 'uncontrolled asthma' - little did they or I know what the truth was. Unfortunately we somehow seem to have an image of how cancer patients should look - no hair, wired up to chemo yet some chemo agents for lung cancer don't result in hair loss and some treatments are tablets or as you say radiotherapy or surgery. Images on tv are more often like those with consumption/TB in the start of the 20th century - coughing up blood, really pale and thin quite unlike many stage iv even terminal patients with lung cancer who I've met. Several continue to do sports - marathons, half marathons, cycle, swim, and work.....the late Stephen Sutton was trolled online in his last few weeks for having quite an energy spurt despite raising millions for teenage cancer trust when they'd predicted his demise was imminent.... awful behaviour - for a young man who did so much to raise awareness and refuse to accept that living with a terminal diagnosis meant giving up entirely..

you don't need anybody's acceptance of how you look - there will no doubt be days when you don't feel so good but in the meantime, continue doing what you're doing and living your life as well as you can... good luck.

[Nopinkforus]

Hi Tony, I get this all the time.

I don't know if it's a psychological thing but since I was diagnosed I take even more care with my appearance, as I want to avoid looking like a 'sicky' - well, for as long as possible anyway!

No ways do I want to look like those people on the cancer leaflets. (no offense to them)

If it means paying £££s to have eyebrow tatoos, false eyelashes and the best hair system money can buy, I'm going for it lol

I may be a victim but I'm damned if I'm going to look like one.

Luckily I don't need those things yet, but when the time comes, I'll be having it all!

I feel like a fraud as well. In my opinion people watch too many films and have this idea in their heads of how someone with cancer SHOULD look (pale, tragic, frail and sad)

When we don't look like that it confuses them!

Its quite funny really.