What am I afraid of? Just a jumble of thoughts as I try to work out my feelings of fear and self doubt.

[Starrlight]

Lately I’ve had some awakenings realizing things that I need to work on, accept, heal from, goals to strive for... but I feel I need to fill myself, like I’m empty of a necessity yet don’t know why I feel it or what to fill up with. Also I feel unworthy compared to anyone on earth it seems. How do I know worthiness and why do i feel I don’t deserve it in the first place? Maybe too many questions. Maybe if I just accept everything as it is for right now without pressure. So that my mind may drain of some worries. To be. A being with a beautiful soul. Spilling out her heart. Hoping. Gaining strength. Belief in making it through. Flying with freedom of wings. Sunset and sunrises flip to another time. A time worth living. New lives. Perfect moments. Eternity in the clouds.

What am I trying to block out? Or stop? As soon as I start feeling great, I self sabatoge myself, I’ve been noticing this. I place myself into spots from which I will fail or be hurt. I don’t know why. I guess I think I deserve bad. It’s so hard to feel all my strong emotions. I am paranoid of people, thinking they see something scary wrong with me, and I must be the reason that the negative things happen... I wish I was as free as a bird...

[JEG325]

My friend it grieves me so much that you can't see how worthy you are. You have a huge heart that loves an incredibly high amount. When you talk to me love love for your family shines through extremely clear. I have known you almost all of the 9 weeks I've been here. In a ll that time you have been right there when I needed you. You are there with kind words for many peopla all the time! Does that sound like somehing an unworthy person does? Your poems and your posts are beautiful. You have the soul of a beautiful poet. Again, you about as worthy of person as I've ever seen! So many people on this sight and on the ADAA site love you dearly. Let our love lift you up so you can soar with the freedom of being cared for and float on a cloud of love. That is what your BFF wishes for you!

[aaronm]

That's a lot of questions but I feel like you don't want me to answer them one by one nor can I answer many of them. I do know your very worthy 9f so much. You help so many people on this site, including me and your always willing to give compassion and an understanding word. That's quite invaluable.