so today i felt okay! i was feeling a bit anxious, bu ta few cofees later i was ready for panic! i let things settle - i felt pretty happy but couldnt undetsand what was going on and the dynamics. people were talking too quick and i couldnt adapt at that time. later that day when socially things bgan to settle. today felt like the greatest day of my life - just if i was to have a perfect day - today was it. something switched and the turning place was when i was hungry - let it be.
customers were happy enough - i was told i have a glow!
all i changed - ? i dont know but things sunk in! i had control of sonny - not other people telling me what i am and who.
usually i feel out of place - and why am i here ! today there was a guy who was fairly unfamiliar with the work i was helpimn him out!
but wha tchanged ? when i really think about it three/four things
- peoples company i was in - people were awesome
-i stopped eating - for some reason when i dont eat things make more sense) - it is very strange!
- a lot of stimulants - alertness
and ocd - ocd gives a purpose to live i remember a list - if i forget the list i almost feel suicidal as it fills a void! cd is massive superstition - like now i feel so good about myself that i don't want to get ofthe couch - as wen i get off the couch things can i only turn shit - i probably am goi to ge ocd - in order to stop the change and keep this feel and perception.
i could live every day of my life like this - i feel ecstatic - just on the basis of how my day went! i have no reason to be sad!it sounds messed up - seriously ...but the impression i gave off today makes me feel excellent.
i have written this as an archive so i can dia in to what the possible diagnosis of what i have - is?! so if you read this so be it/if you don't fine/ if you have an input i find useful - i cant thank ytou enougth!
people on this site are supportive and i owe a good bit of my life to it.