low mood/ low or lack of motivation

I have been feeling very low and have no or little motivation. I can be irritable and have no interest in anything. I never used to be like this, in fact quite the opposite. Somedays i can't even bring myself to get up before lunchtime if i'm not working that day, often too i find it too comfortable to stay at home when i'm not working and not venture outside, even though when i'm out i'm ok with it. I have no sex drive and a lot of self loathing, feel like a failure, like i'm completely useless and there's nothing i can do about it. Can anyone else relate to this? If so how did you deal with it?

10 Replies

  • These are typical symptoms of depression and many of us have experienced them. It is best to see your GP, who will be able to advise on the best treatment.

    Good luck


  • I thought so. I'll book an appointment asap. Thank you for your advice.

  • hope the appointment goes well. Many practices have a nurse who specialises in depression, so hopefully you won't have to wait too long to start getting some support.

    Check out the web on cognitive behaviour therapy, if you do have to wait a while for a referral. You tube has quite a few vids on c.b.t. which will be really helpful to get you challenging the thoughts you have been beating yourself up with.

    To steal someone elses idea from another healthlocked site (action on depression) treat those horrible thoughts as unwanted cold-callers, and calmly close the door to them and say, not today thank you,

    whether you opt for self-help or start with professional advice, the important thing is is act sooner rather than later, before those horrible feelings about yourself become a life-long habit.

  • hi... ummm having had depression for ages I've found that just ignoring those thoughts, trying to 'close the door on them' just set up a sense of opposition within me... like I was fighting myself actually that critical voice was getting louder and crafting ever sharper criticisms ... in the end I chose a different route... first I chose, believe it or not, to accept these horrible statements... boy did that hurt... it went on for years... slowly I realised that this horrible judgemental voice was actually me... this was interesting because it made me realise that if it was me then actually I could do something about it... I found the judgements were all based on prejudices and beliefs that I had built up since childhood about things such as what success was, about what was right and wrong about how I 'ought to feel' etc. some where also repetitions of judgements people had shared with me about others or about myself that I had elaborated upon in a negative way... I realised that I was using these critical comments upon myself but would not use them on other people... I also recognised that they were self abusive... but there was something else too... I realised they were an expression of anger. I looked into this a bit more and I realised that this angry part of me had something to say.

    Slowly, with the help of a psychologist we were able to ask questions that undermined the assumptions that I'd made which formed the basis of those beliefs and prejudices that supported all those cutting criticisms... this took some of the heat out of the anger and helped me re-frame and re-evaluate my situation in a fundamental way... following on from this I found I was able to ask questions of those critical thoughts and, having been listened to, this part of me began to calm down and we began to talk. In fact now these two parts of me work together constructively. There is no war. In fact the part of me that used to be critical isn't... other emotions are now being expressed instead, one being fear... but in this place there's a sense of co-operation and care. A sense of valuing each part of me and letting each bit of me contribute ... its a team effort. I've learnt to listen to myself. Listening to all of me helps me to form a more balanced picture and make more balanced decisions, for instance when the emotion expressed is fear I accept it's there as a warning and I take head, but I don't let it rule, I balance it with the other elements of me, a gentle rational approach, a summing up of what I imagine the best and worst to be, and a look at the probabilities of what is likely to happen.

    So much as it might take all the courage you've got and perhaps you'll need the help of an experienced psychologist too... I would really recommend trying to get to know the character behind your angry thoughts... working out if you really agree with the belief system that supports the criticism... dismantling it if it's appropriate and forming another one (this is best done with careful and challenging questions from an experienced psychologist)... once the heat of the anger has gone you might find, as I did, that the part of you that has been delivering the most abusively critical thoughts is actually the bit that is most hurt, even damaged, and needs your love, protection and care to recover that sense of self again.

    This is perhaps just one other way to get through depression... but it's worked for me... Take care of yourself... you are the only expert on being you... good luck on your journey. :)


  • Hi, I feel exactly the same. Has something happened in your life to unlock these emotions.? I would definately recommend going to see your gp to tell them how you feel. I have tried cbt but it doesnt work for me, they may put you on antidepressants.

    Good luck with appt

  • Nothing recently. I've had these feelings on and off for about a year now. But recently they're more regular, just about everyday. I put on a brave face at work and just get on with my job but really inside its a different story, at home I don't have the patience or understanding for my girlfriend that I used to have even though I love her dearly. I need to sort these issue out. If it means seeing my GP then so be it.

  • My advice is to speak openly to family and close friends. Also speak to GP about counselling, I have found out thro my own depression that tyou are actually entitled to counselling but you have to push for it.

  • It helps to talk, I have kept things bottled up for too long, only recently I have shared things, it does help.

  • Just remember 1 in 4 people have a mental illness of some sort so there is a lot of help out there just need to know where to look.Mind website is a very informative site for depression and anxiety. Hope this helps.

  • I think it is best to get help and medication asap as this helps the sooner you get it rather than later before things get out of control. Speaking openly with family or a close friend may help. Just remember 1 in 4 people have a mental ilnness of some kind so there is plenty of help out there and Doctors have seen it many times before. Hope this helps.

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