4 years of trying...

[hannahding]

Hey, everyone I am new to this forum. I thought I'll just post my own story and let you guys know about myself. I started trying in year 2015. We tried naturally for 9 months and there was no BFP. I got really frustrated and decided to visit a doctor. He said that we should at least try for 12 months. So we did that and nothing happened. We got an appointment with the OB. We visited him he did the ultra sound and all the tests. Told us that nothing was wrong with us. He put us on medication cycle and that didn't also work. Later he diagnosed us with unexplained infertility. It was so frustrating because everything was perfect but not really. Then our doctor said we should try IUI. We also did that, 2 times and both times it was a failure.

[sandra98]

Hello. Hope you are fine. I am sorry to hear about your loss. You should not lose hope. There are many other solutions possible. You can also go for surrogacy or IVF. Many good clinics in Europe offer surrogacy and IVF. I hope you find the one which suits you. I would recommend you to keep struggling. Don't be desperate. We should always fight against the hurdles life gives us. It is what keeps us contented. I wish you get out of this soon. Take care. Good luck ahead!

[HaileyPark in reply to sandra98]

Aww, thanks for the guidance. IVF is a really painful procedure and takes a lot of patience. I think asking your doctor for the success percentage is important. If it is below 50% then one shouldn't go for it. Always choose procedures that will suit you. What works for others may not necessarily work for you. Thanks for the help. And good luck!

[Becca21]

I'm so sorry to hear about your ordeal! The sting of infertility is insane and unbearable at times... many of us have been experiencing same things for couple of years of more in our own fertility journeys. Have hope dear one... you've got to stay strong as the success lies on the other side of the road and stopping won't help achieve that. Yes, many Dr consider 12-15 months TTC before referring any assistance. Though technically no one else can decide what amount of time on futile tries should be enough for you but the time Dr mentions in necessary because you only have as much as 20% chance of success in every cycle provided your reproductive physiology is optimum. Considering that you can probably understand that missing out on conceiving for a few months to an year could simply be a matter of luck and nothing else. The IUI failures, however, suggests there could be an underlying cause undetected right now. I think you need to move on with IVF, preferably with PGS as your case is still tagged unexplained. I know a lady from my clinic whose first child was a 4 year long struggle and there were no apparent cause for their infertility. She had several MCs though, both in natural and assisted TTCs... and it was only during PGS in 2nd round IVF they figured it was because of a trisomy glitch. They tried ICSI+IVF and it went successful on second FET... single one though.

[andylins]

I'm sorry, hun. what are your next steps going to be?? Have you discussed ivf option? I know how hard and all consuming this waiting is.. So emotionally draining..I remember at the begining of the journey everybody I talked to had some crappy bit of advice like ''It will happen when its supposed too''. ''Maybe you're not ready for baby''. ''Just relax''. ''Just have sex all of the time'' (no... really???? I didn't realise tha'ts how you made a baby..!!)

I was so unsure what I was looking for when joined this group. Maybe just a rant space, reassurance or success stories...whatever. But it did help! Knowing there so many others sailing in the same boat and willing to share experience made me feel more comforted. Of course it's pains there are so many of us struggling..But we aren't alone with this grief..

I was very afraid once to hear dx ''unexplained''. This means everything seems ok, but it doesn't happen..and you don't know what issue to battle..It must be hard not to know the reason. I'm sorry, luv. Hope you feel well. So, what's your next step??

We're currently doing ivf with donor egg at Ukrainian clinic. This is our second visit to the same place. Once we were successful with de ivf round #2 with them, so decided to come back for a sibling This all is ao emotional though. You know what to expect with clinic, staff, procedures, but are really confused over the outcomes. 'Cause noone can guarantee you success -eh? But phew, what a relaxation it is to know they know the field and will do their best. Good luck to all in this boat! Hope we'll get our bfps soon xx

[AmbK]

I know how that sounds, unexplained infertility... it's like everything looks fine but does not work fine. You've already tried so much then why not go ahead and get on with IVF, consider it. I have read in several posts and other online resources that usually the unexplained fertility has explanations but then till you get to advances assisted fertility procedures they cannot be detected. One such example is trisomy, there's some particular chromosomal trisomy that triggers MCs.... hindering gestation. Now, this trisomy cannot be detected unless you get to IVF level and opt for a genetic screening. It's often the case for women who have had conceived a couple of times but never gets past a certain gestational period and all the reports do not reflect any problem with uterian lining or hormone levels or any physiological anomaly that can possibly cause repeated MCs. I wish you luck in finding success soon... be it with or without IVF.

[andylins]

One of the major factors in failure may be chromosomal abnormalities in the embryo. This is true for all embryos. Whether naturally conceived or developed in the embryology lab. These abnormalities are the reason behind most miscarriages as well as failure to implant in the cycle. Starting from 30 yrs old, the incidence of choromosomal abnormalities in women's eggs begins to increase. By the mid-40s as much as 75 percent of a woman’s eggs have chromosomal abnormalities!! A man’s sperm develops more chromosomal abnormalities as he ages as well. BUT at a much lower rate than a woman’s eggs!! It’s unfair, but it’s true.

If you’ve had a failed cycle, your dr may recommend PGS for the next ivf cycle. PGS tests a few cells from an embryo to determine if it has a correct number of chromosomes. It's all art for me. I mean. you should know well whether you better off with an experienced RE with a long track record? Or with a new young doctor just off fellowship training who may be at the cutting edge of practice? What are the clinic's success rates with women your age? Does the lab have a good reputation? Do you feel comfortable that your dr is listening to you and is addressing your concerns? Before you commit to a second shot, assess how both you and your partner feel about the things mentioned.

[Gia_9]

I'm so sorry to hear that even the IUIs are rendered ineffective in your case! Though I believe the timeline is very personal and no one can really decide for you that what amount of futile TTC should be enough to seek help.... your Dr was also correct in his/her part. See one only has as much as 20-25% chances of conceiving over a cycle, provided there's nothing else that could possibly counter it or cause infertility for either of the partners. Hope you understand that with chances of success like that, you could be fully functional reproductive wise and yet take a few months to up to a year over just matter of luck. About unexplained infertility... I know someone who had years trying and got several chemical pregnancies, it was only during her IVF that it was found over PGS that it's because of a chromosomal trisomy from the male partner that's been causing multiple early pregnancy loss. Some remain to be unexplained but then most get's sorted during IVF.... because it involved more diagnosis, monitoring, DNA screenings etc. I don't insist but if your IUI failed you should probably consider IVF... as far as I know IUI is good to rule out most male infertility issues concerning inconsistency in sperm count, sperm motility, morphological defects and causes of that sort. I hope you find some answers to your problem soon and all the more get pregnant. Good Luck!

[Bessiejames]

Hi Hannah. My deepest sympathies are with you. I can understand your feelings. You must be really heartbroken from the inside. You are thinking that everything is lost. But don’t think like this dear. There is always a chance. We just need to be ready to take it. I would recommend the same to you. I am going to share my story. I was told that I could not conceive a baby naturally. I became frustrated. But I knew that things cannot go on like this. So I contacted a clinic in Eastern Europe. They were willing to help me in my situation. I opted for Surrogacy. The result came out successful. Now I am a mother of a son.

[Gloriarroyo]

Hi hannahding,

I am sorry to learn that you are really trying hard but nothing seems to be working. TTC for one year with no results can leave one frustrated. You have also said that you have tried IUI but still, there is nothing to write home. Finally, your doctor has diagnosed you with unexplained infertility. This is where the trouble is. It explains why IUI failed and so going that route will not give you better results. So what options are available for you? I recommend IVF as the only process that can guarantee you a child. All that you need to do is to contact a fertility clinic in your area. You will be required to supply them with relevant information on your history. They will invite you to their facility where you will be taken through a fertility examination to determine if you are able to carry a child or not. If you receive a clean bill of health. You will move to the next stage where you will be admitted into their program. Further blood tests specifically FSH, AMH, and LH will be done. It will help determine whether your karyotype is fine or not. You will also be taken through hepatitis and HIV tests. If everything is found to be Ok, you will commence the treatment. You will be prescribed medication to help your endometrium to grow. This is important since it determines whether the embryo will implant itself successfully or not. Finally, a fertilized egg will be transferred and if it implants itself, you will be pregnant.

[isla98]

Hi dear. I hope you are doing well. I am sorry for your loss. I am sorry for your situation. You should be strong at the moment. We are in the same boat. Don't think you are alone. You have opted for a wrong process. You must be had chosen surrogacy. IUI and IVF lead to failures most of the time. You should have taken this risk. But its never too late. You can try again. There are numerous clinics in Europe. Vist them once. Do proper research. They will guide you better. Sometimes unexplained infertility happens. I also suffered from this situation. God bless you.

[cathy-martha]

Well yeah, this is definitely a bad experience. Thanks for sharing your story with us here. People who are in the same process dealing with infertility or in the search of right clinics must know who are the scams. People need to share their stories with us. As it will help us and guide us. Just like Lotus who are nothing but a torture to the people who are already in distress. I am also in the process of surrogacy. Had been through this experience of clinic hunt and I totally get it. It is devastating. At that time you need proper guidance. When you end up going to the wrong clinics it just makes the situation worse. At that time when we are going through a lot, we seek that someone gives us the right guidance. Seeing negligible behavior is frustrating. I would never suggest clinic Lotus to anyone. They do nothing but waste your time and money. stay away from such clinics. Best of luck.

[Taylormine]

Hey! I know suddenly finding out about infertility can be so hard. I have had three miscarriages as well. I never had a problem with conceiving. I conceived naturally within three months each time. The problem was with carrying the baby. Tried so hard but no procedure worked. Thanks for your suggestion, I will consider it. I really appreciate it.

[angellllll]

I am extremely sorry to hear your story. This must have been so hard for you. I can completely understand that infertility isn't an easy journey. When I was diagnosed with a poor ovarian reserve I honestly got shattered. It was so hard to even accept. My suggestion to you would be to look into assisted conceptions. The technology has drastically improved and we have many options. You should consider IVF for yourself. For the process make sure to visit the clinic with the high success rate. The clinic should have doctors that are experienced. Good luck to you. Don't lose hope. I know it is easy for me to say than done. However, we all are in this together. Sending baby dust your way.

[Randi123]

Hi dear. I hope you are doing well. I am sorry for your loss. I am sorry for your situation. You should be strong at the moment. You've already tried so much then why not go ahead and get on with IVF, consider it. You need to keep your options open. Surrogacy can be a factor too. Just look over it. Take care of yourself. Keep your DH in the loop. God will take care of everything. Much love honey. Take care. Baby dust to you.

[andylins]

Hi there! I just wanted to ask for some updates. How are you, honey??

This path is never easy. And it must be twice tough to be in the case of unexplained. This must be frustrating not knowing what issue to battle. Have you ever looked for the 2nd opinion? You could have a consultation with another doc just to make sure..you know. I'm sorry your iuis didn't work out. So probably this is the right time to give ivf a try..Not insisting though. What does your doc say on this point? Anyway, I'm happy you can still use your own egg. Would really love to hear some news from you soon. Hoping for you. Stay both well.

[Lumie]

Hi Hannahding,

I feel your pain, I have also been trying for 4 years and diagnosed with unexplained fertility.

If you ever want to talk, just message me.

[JanetteMarvin]

Hi dear! Have a similar problem. Did you have blood tests on hormones? Maybe you'll find out the reason is in your husband and you should change a partner? It may sound creepy but there are cases like that. Ot maybe you should try IVF on your own eggs if IUI doesn't work? Or surrogacy in the extreme case. Anyway, you can always text me if you wanna talk: [e-mail].

[Mel77]

All this situation must be frustrating. The thing you don't know exactly what's the problem. You've been on ''unexplained'' list which is itself emotionally draining..I'm sorry for that. Then, if iui was suggested, then your dr must have suspected sperm issues..Have you ever thought about getting the 2nd opinion? And what's your next step going to be? You may try ivf, but you should expect it will cost the sum unless you pass it abroad. Just wanted to wish you the best.

PS.I've successfully been through donor egg ivf cycles. If I may be of any help, please let me know.

[andylins in reply to Mel77]

Cardially congratulate you!

Could you answer some of the questions? TIA

Where did you pass DE IVF? What are the costs at the clinic?

Any specific pros of using them? Any cons?

What you wish you knew before applying for treatment with them?

[JustKnewIt]

Hi I'm so sorry. If iui doesn't work they are more likely to offer you looking onto ivf soon..Though not insisting. You should make sure you trust the place you're with/doc/staff..That you feel absolutely at comfort with them. A good doctor will not order a bunch of expensive tests after each failure. And he/she will make sure that you have realistic expectation about the entire process..Hope this message finds you well.

[andylins]

Seems IVF is going to be your next step. Here you might like to think of the following. During insemination, healthy sperm and mature eggs are mixed and incubated overnight.

In ICSI, a single healthy sperm is injected directly into each mature egg. (ICSI is often used when semen quality or number is a problem or if fertilization attempts during prior IVF cycles failed.) Here I tend to think that you'd better opt for ICSI. (As your previous IUI attempts failed. So you'll more likely need to have sperms injected into your eggs). Not insisting though. Just some of the thoughts. Take care x