My sad story. Any help or advice girls?

My sad story. Any help or advice girls?

Hi everybody, I’m Martha and I want to share the story of my life with you, because I personally think you can learn a lot from my experience and my mistakes. Things were not going the best way possible lately, but as saying goes “The night is darkest just before the dawn”. At least I want to believe that.

My story begins when I was 33 years old. I fell in love, madly. Unfortunately my love interest was poor choice but I got to realize that later. First couple of years flew by like it was nothing, I thought we were happy and loving, but then my husband started to get worse. I saw that he cares less and less for me, no more flowers, compliments, gifts, attention, all of that started to go away. The only thing I was left with was his aggression and enormous ego. Nevertheless we lived pretty good life, in our own house, without need for anything more. Then horrible accident occurred. After 5 years of relationship I got pregnant. He demanded abortion, threatening to leave me alone with child, saying that he won’t give a single penny to “little brat”. I was shocked, how man who I loved so passionately could say such awful thing about our child. But I agreed to his threats and did an abortion. Everything got even worse after that, that abortion hit me really hard. I started to lose faith in myself, my self-esteem dropped down the well. I started to take anti-depressants, trying to kill crippling depression that grew inside of me. Two years later same thing happened again. Another pregnancy, another threat to leave, another abortion and mental breakdown for me. I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I gained weight because I tried to drown my feelings in sweets, alcohol, pills. No surprise that didn’t work out very well. I felt like a bag of bones, life lost all of its colors. This nightmare continued for 4 more years. After couple suicide attempts I realized that I need to change it right now or I will end up jumping from the bridge.

After one of our fights full of broken plates and screams I decided to change everything. I broke up with this abusive moron. Little did I know that that bastard will crawl back to me in 3 months, pleading for me to forgive him. “Not this time” I said to myself. I moved to separate apartment and broke all connections with him. Only after that I started to realize how bad my health and mind state was. I got gym membership, started to eat healthy and tried to enjoy what I have. Even after 8 years this horrible relationship has its mark on me.

The other day I went to corporative meeting where I met wonderful man. His care, honesty and charisma shocked me. As we started seeing each other, my horrible past started to let me go. Mathew has 15 years old son, very well behaved young boy named Marvin. As strange as it sounds we got along pretty fast, soon he started to see me as his good friend and didn’t hesitate to ask for my advice. But my past still found a way to screw me over. I was too old and too afraid to have kids. I was afraid being rejected once again until Mathew told me that he wants to have a child with me. Needless to say I was stunned. Unfortunately I cannot give birth anymore, menopause is cruel thing, to every women. And now I feel miserable because I can’t give life anymore, I feel like I have no purpose anymore. My husband comforts me and says that we will find a way to have our very own child, and I trust him. Can anyone suggest anything? Did you have similar problems?Thanks for reading. Photo of me and Marvin. .xx

13 Replies

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  • I'm so sorry for you! Abusive relationship is even worse then being alone. So glad you got rid of that man(dont know if he can even be called man after reading that). I hope you will find a way to concieve, you will 100% get help and support here. Don't give up on your goals, you finaly got your personal life covered, I think everything else will come with time too! Baby dust to you :)

  • wow, that sounds horrible! How did you manage to survive like that, couldn't imagine myself in such situation... Good that you two have now teenage kid, that'll give you some practice in parenting, teenage boys sometimes can be problematic but hope you will deal with it.

    Have you considered IVF or surrogacy? I guess you cant do ivf after couple of abortions, but to make sure gotta check your doctor, that can help you a lot

  • Thank you for your support, it was a nightmare, and im really glad to finally wake up. Marvin is quite calm and polite young gentleman, Mathew is best father i ever saw, he really knows how to raise a boy to a man. Nevertheless we want to have our child too. I already visited my doctor, he said that i cant carry anymore.

    We are looking for surrogacy clinic in UK, but it's not looking too good here. Maybe you can advise smth.?

  • Hi Amy, I know clinic that can help you with IVF or surrogacy, it's called Biotexcom. They can provide all procedures and help you need, but you will need some documents with you. My sister went there for surrogacy, she was very happy because all went well and best part was the fact that clinic has very professional attitude and staff.

  • We looked at the Ukraine and I contacted quite a few clinics however lots did not reply to my initial email! Obviously didn't want the business. I had discussions with Vittoria Vita, Biotex and ISIDA. We were drawn towards ISIDA however the conversation was difficult because of the language barrier and I got cold feet. I have also heard some bad things about Biotex so we kinda choosing now.

  • My sis said that everything is completely fine and dandy. Dont know where these rumours come from, prob another clinics try to screw them up or something. As far as I know, everything is totally ok and they provide high quality ivf and surrogacy.

  • Oh, thats nice. Please ask her about situation in Ukraine, I heared that they have war or some kind of conflict there, is it safe?

  • Yes, it's completely safe. She said that there is no signs of conflict ar anythin, but she has been only to Kiev. Atmosphere there is pretty calm so you have nothing to worry about.

  • Doctor said that I can go for IVF, how much does it cost? We dont know if we can affor it or not.

  • We also used to search that kind of info earlier and got some answers from manager. As for the UK programs they offer 3 of them:

    1 attempt - ECONOMY - 4900 euro in 1 installment after you sign the contract. In case selective reduction is needed we will be charged 1000 euro additionally.

    2 attempts - DOUBLE - 6900 euro in 2 equal installments. Selective reduction is covered by the package price.

    5 attempts - GUARANTEED SUCCESS - 9900 euro in 2 equal installments. In case of 5 negatives they refund the money paid. Selective reduction and meds are covered by the package price as well.

  • That sounds very reasonable, I think we will go for double one, hope I will concieve well and everythind will be ok. We are going to contact manager on monday or so, gonna PM you then, cya.

  • ok, that sounds good. I wish you best luck there! Hope you'r gonna be good mommy ;) Baby dust and best wishes!!

  • Haha,I also anted to suggest isida or biotexcom, heared a lot of good things about both. Also heared that translators at biotex are super cool. Saw women on forums complaining that they gave them super cute long-haired guy translatod and her hb was really jelous xD