Support / opinions for IVF

[Elpis_]

Hello,

I am new here, and to the IVF world, so please forgive me if I'm ignorant.

Background :

I am 41 years old, and me and my partner have been trying to conceive in the past 1.5 years.

I've had an AMH test and some additional infertility tests ( gonadotrophin, serum prolactin, serum progesterone, and a vaginal swab) and all came back normal / "good for my age".

My partner’s semen analysis also came back normal.

I've seen a consultant gynaecologist in the NHS back in November, and he suggested having a HyCoSy test to check my fallopian tubes (which is planned for next week).

Moreover, because of some investigations for an ongoing abdominal pain (with no diagnosis so far), the doctor also referred me to have a diagnostic laparoscopy for endometriosis, which is planned for the end of next month (end of February). The pain is not related to my cycle, which makes me believe it might not be endometriosis - but I've done all other diagnostic tests (2 ultrasounds, 2 MRIs) and they found nothing - so that's the last way to find out what causes the pain. Also, the pain comes and goes. There are periods of every-day pain, and then long periods (months) of no pain at all. This period I am feeling fine, so I am a bit skeptical I might have to do the operation for nothing.

What happened:

Because of the fact that I want to look for IVF treatment soon, I've contacted a private gynaecologist who specialises in fertility treatment to discuss and ask questions (she is based in my home country). My main concern was to ask about the operation, because I read that after you have a laparoscopy you have to wait 6-9 months before you have an IVF cycle. I've sent all my fertility test results to the gynaecologist before our call, so that she has a picture of my situation. By the moment we've started the call, she asked my age and really stressed out that this is the most important of all. We've been on a call for 50 mins, and mainly she's been telling me that I have no time, we have to act now and in 6 months I will lose the game. She also mentioned that in my age it is pointless trying to conceive the natural way, and I should start IVF straight away. She said having the HyCoSy test is pointless, cause IVF overpasses the fallopian tubes anyway, and the operation is useless and I should not waste time on it.

My questions / concerns:

I'm really puzzled cause when I saw the consultant back in November, he checked my test results and did an ultrasound. He then referred me for the further tests and the operation (which was to investigate the pain cause), and he really encouraged me to try to conceive the natural way in the mean time, and he said we will have a follow-up appointment in 6 months to see how it goes - if I'm not already pregnant by then. In our appointment, he didn't mention anything about my age or how difficult it is going to be, or the IVF option - although I guess this would be the next step, in our follow-up probably.

I'm not naive, I know that to get pregnant at this age my chances are very low and I know it is going to be difficult. However, this woman gynaecologist I had the call with, really made me anxious and feeling like I have too low chances, and I felt really bad after our call.

I am feeling really puzzled. Should I cancel my operation, get straight on a plane and go to my home country, stay there for a month and do the IVF straight away without losing any more valuable time? Or should I follow the route of the NHS consultant, do my tests and take it from there?

Also, I'm trying to understand whether I could be eligible for IVF through the NHS. I have asked my GP but they said they have no information and cannot advise on this. They said I have a follow-up appointment with the consultant who saw me before and I can ask him, when we meet. The problem is that I read online that the age limit is 43, but I see mixed information, and in some websites it's 42. I'm worried cause I am going to see the consultant in June, and in July I turn 42 so it might be too late by then.

I'd really love to hear your stories and opinions on this. I know it's a personal decision, but knowing what other people - who went through a similar journey- think, would really be appreciated.

Thank you in advance