Why cant I stop worrying

Hi, today was my first day of injecting myself with heparin (I am taking innohep) and 75mg aspirin a day, I am literally just pregnant at 4weeks and 5 days, I have previously had 2 late miscarriages one at 16 weeks and one at 20 and I am absolutely thrilled to be pregnant and want to have a successful pregnancy this time but I cant relax, this is the first time I have been treated so in that respect I feel great, I want to be allowed to feel happy but I cant relax. I have read so many stories from so many different women, I am doing "all the right" things persay and just wondering if anyone has any advice, I will be having my first scan in 1.5 weeks and I feel I have a great team behind me already.

12 Replies

  • Firstly congratulations twice, firstly for your news, and secondly for getting on with the jabs, I remember my first one as I sat in St Thomas' in bed practising on an orange, as I came off a Heparin pump I had been on for literally weeks. I think this is a time to call in favours from family and friends, in order to focus on the positive and relax. If there is any chance of doing any activity that could take your mind off it all, now would be the ideal time. I know I got into watching hilarious films and walking, the woman in the next bed to me with same condition, (not that we knew what we had at the time), joined a lively singing group etc. MaryF

  • Ditto all that Mary says. I know its difficult as you settle into the routine and build up confidence but the key is trying to relax and take your mind off it so that you don't stress too much as that in itself will not do you any good. Rally your friends and explain what you need from them, join something you think you will enjoy and know you won't get a chance to do once the baby arrives. This is "your' time to enjoy, make the most of it!

  • Hi Kate, congratulations!! My story is kind of similar in that I had 3 early mc and have started innohep and aspirin since 4.5 weeks. I'm 19 weeks along now with twins from IVF and like you, feel very positive about this treatment. However, I did find the early weeks an anxious time and it's difficult until you get into the second trimester. To help me relax, I walk, knit and do pregnancy yoga but you can't start yoga until 14 weeks or so. I did go for the odd swim but now that I have a bump I'm finding it hard to get a decent swimsuit! If you like swimming though, this is a good thing to do. I'm also very addicted to Netflix and all4. In my early weeks I also went to counselling but this was partly because I was going through IVF too.

    As for injecting, it becomes routine after a while and you don't even notice it anymore. If you ever have doubts, just remind yourself why you're doing it. I wish you a happy healthy pregnancy - and this forum is great, we are lucky to have good support here.

  • Hello, interesting story. Can I ask why you did IVF with Hughes ? Is that the protocol for it? I am trying naturally and like you have had very early mcs. So if I test positive for Hughes I assume I have to take aspirin and heparin and that's it ... I hope

  • Hi Orangepie, no you don't need to do IVF with Hughes. For me, after the 3rd mc I was monitoring cycles and noticed I wasn't always ovulating and some cycles were shorter than they should be. It was taking longer than it should to conceive so we looked for help. Turns out my amh was low, therefore my egg reserve is low and I might not have been producing good quality eggs every month. I'm 36, almost 37 so I didn't want time to run out for me!

    So yes if you test positive for Hughes you'll start aspirin and heparin from a positive pregnancy test usually.

  • Congratulations! As someone who wants to try for a family very soon with APS and a variety of conditions, I am always hoping for the best for anyone but I am so hell bent on getting myself healthy, I don't realise the stress is of course, not doing me any favours. Stress is not our friend!

    I would third or fourth, Mary. Relax by watching films or tv series that you haven't seen so your mind cannot wander. Also, walking as I've read from many on here is very beneficial.

    Best of luck!

  • Thank you everyone :) I feel so much better just after those few replies, I feel so happy right now which is good and I hope this feeling lasts :)

  • Hello Kate, my name is Hayley, I had 2 miscarriages around 10 weeks then a stillbirth at 28 weeks prior to my diagnosis. I know how you are feeling and my heart wants to reach out to try to calm you. I am currently 33 weeks pregnant, under the management of Prof Cathy Nelson- Piercy at St Thomas' and I have come through the terror and fear of the past thus far, so, I inject daltaperin twice daily alongside my tablets: aspirin, citalopram, bisoprolol, ferrous fumerate and folic acid, I am scanned every 4 weeks, recently every 2 and my baby boy is fine so far, I am expecting to have him no later than at 38 weeks and owing to my Libman Sacks endocarditis i will be allowed to push for an hour before a c -section if he hasnt yet arrived! I really hope my story reassures you and you manage to have a reasonably stress free pregnancy although I totally understand how difficult this will sound for you right now. Put your faith in the doctors and the medications as I am proof they work, My baby boy is measuring perfectly and blood flow through the placenta is just fine. I am so excited to have him and it's all down to following the directions of Prof Cathy and putting my trust in the experts. injecting is the least of my concerns, i do it first thing in the morning and last thing at night in my hip as it hurts there the least, and think nothing of it. lots of love and luck. X

  • It will take time and to be completely honest, you might not relax until that sweet baby is in your arms (and then there are a million other wonderful things to worry about ;) ). Hopefully this helps though... I was in your shoes and along with the blood problem I had an incompetent cervix and struggled with preterm labor. I was on strict bed rest for 18 weeks with my first and 16 weeks with my second and a month of that one in the hospital. The worry was through the roof!! But I have my boys. So, just know that although we weren't blessed with easy or worry free pregnancies the end result is beautiful. Even if it doesn't work this time, your team will figure it out and you will get that beautiful baby you've worried so much for. It's worth it! Hang in there!

  • Before my diagnosis and them finally putting me on the shots, I went through 7 miscarriages. I had a great experience with the shots. Best pregnancy yet!! I'm almost 40 year's old and this time around I didn't deal with any high risk complications like my other 2 pregnancies that I was able to carry out. I felt the best I've felt in over 20 years. I just delivered a healthy, strong, baby boy at almost 39 weeks gestational exactly 1 month ago. Have faith. Your odds are so... much greater now. Keep it up!! Try not to worry (i know it's hard). Feel blessed you've been given another chance and you now have the medical support you need. One thing to look forward to to ease your worries is that they will probably monitor you a lot closer now and you will get to see that beautiful creation your body is making more often then if you didn't have any autoimmunes and such. I was able to have bi-weekly ultrasounds in the beginning and weekly towards the end. Which was so reassuring and kinda neat to get extra special treatment.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!

  • I have been too afraid since loosing my daughter at 22 weeks got my diagnosis after and I'm now 40yrs old. Be brave it sounds like everything is working in your favour I'm sure you'll be a mom before you know it, sending love and hope. Xx

  • So Katemurray how are you doing now?

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