Cleaning

[AresOnline63]

I seem to always find myself cleaning. Yes I know a guy who cleans omg 😹. But when I disappear and come back to reality I’m just cleaning I always just seem to be cleaning something and it just never feels like it’s ever clean I take a break I lay down and I just feel everything is still dirty and not even worth trying to clean anymore. Usually seems to be on my days off I get like this and during the week I’m so busy with work so I can’t clean. No idea what this even has to do with anything but it was just on my mind right now 😹

[peacefulandcalm Encourager]

hi Ares, do you dissociate you mean? …...'when you disappear and come back to reality, you are cleaning'….like your mind goes away and comes back? mine does. I have been dissociating so badly. Not sure if that is what you meant.

Cleaning helps me too. It is grounding and useful and then makes one feel good after things are clean.

I am the opposite about eating. I just read your next post. You eat too little. I eat a lot when scared, triggered, depressed, lonely. I guess people do one or the other often.

At least you are aware of it and drinking that vitamin drink, good. Maybe tomorrow you will have an appetite.

We can try to give ourselves compassion for all we have done and do to survive. It has been an incredibly difficult life and we have survived and are surviving.

It will pass eventually, the depression and triggering, dissociating. good for reaching out.

what else can you do to ground yourself? I must do the same, cleaning does help

one moment at a time, tomorrow could be easier, hope so, try to take good care of you, I will tooxxxx

[AresOnline63]

Well I mean yea I guess it is like disassociating just idk lol. I feel sometimes I’m just stuck here sometimes is how it feels that’s when I just someone how end up cleaning. The just doesn’t make since as well. Like I’m not even feeling sad right now. I’m doing the small space squishing myself thing right now and I’m feeling better actually. I think just needed a little bit of external pressure on myself. Don’t have a girlfriend or wife to give me a hug so fixing it the way I can. I haven’t needed to do this for awhile. I normally hate cramped spaces and being touched by random people.

[peacefulandcalm Encourager in reply to AresOnline63]

never heard of that, but if it works, good. I can see why, feels secure, yeah. Great self care. I hold pillow in bed for that feeling too, you probably do that too.

one day at a time, gentle on selves, can be stressful time of year, kind to selvesxx

[AresOnline63 in reply to peacefulandcalm]

Yes I have pillows in my bed as well. My therapist had taught me the cramped space thing even though I hate being constricted. Just push your self against the wall or wherever you can find and just take one or both hands and push down on your chest

[peacefulandcalm Encourager in reply to AresOnline63]

that is interesting, do you face the wall or back on the wall? like in a corner or just on the wall? I am trying to see how to do it. It helps a lot? great.

one day at a timexx

[AresOnline63 in reply to peacefulandcalm]

The way she showed me was in a solid chair and feet on the wall cause you want pressure on feet and back. I have a small hallway that I can do both at the same time.

[Anxiouspony12]

Hi sounds like OCD a bit. I went through a phase I got up and cleaned and tidied in the night. I'm not kidding and I known other people go through it too. Maybe it's a way of feeling in control of environment when feel life or rather ourselves is getting out of control? It's a vicious cycle though as can go other way into clutter then back to cleaning. Might be linked to perfectionism too which is never a good thing in the long run cos nobody or nothing is perfect as such all perfectly imperfect.😊❤️ And dissociative states been there where I once lost who I was and where I was completely. And I even felt like a doll or zombie like I was a little doll in the past. Not good place to have been and I hope you feel more yourself soon xx