Question about dissasociation

[ElizaV]

Can someone describe exactly how dissasociation displays itself? I've read some about it on the Internet but have not been able to make a connection between those descriptions and my PTSD. Maybe I just don't disassociate, but how do others experience this?

[Dunkdl]

I suffered from dissasociative personality disorder for over a decade. For me it presented as a complete detachment from reality, almost like I was living in a movie, while trying to function in everybody else's reality. It varied between people noticing that I seemed to be zoned out, to being completely unaware of my surroundings.

Hope this helps

[willingtoheal Volunteer]

Basically as I understand disasociation is going somewhere else in your mind taking you out of the situation that feels threatening. Like when (could trigger something in others) when I was being abused I would no longer be present in my mind. I would see myself walking through a flower field. Sometimes I think of somewhere I wish I was like talking to a celebrity and what I would ask him. Walking on a beach. Just going somewhere else because at the moment what is happening feels too scary to be in the present moment.

[ElizaV]

Thank you everyone for responding! I have a better understanding of it now through your personal explanations, and I appreciate you taking the time to do this. willingtoheal , Dunkdl , Hidden

I used to do this some, but not much anymore. Varying degrees is what I experienced. I guess it's good that I don't dissasociate anymore? I'm not sure, I guess I usually don't have to perhaps. Not sure if it helps though because I still get completely overwhelmed by my emotions frequently and I go kinda blank but I don't feel like I leave the situation, just feel unable to know how to handle myself, my emotions and what to say. Maybe that is some small form of dissasociation but I do not have the experiences you guys have described for at least 5 years.

Several years ago I had some strange experiences that sound like dissasociation, but generally they were more negative, finding a happy place was only possible at night time when I was alone.

There was one period of my life that I had actual delusions, and pretty severe but it only lasted a few months.

Thanks again, it always means so much to have someone respond and I truly appreciate it!

[Equis-Canine Volunteer]

My disassociation was different. When things were too intense, I would just go away. I could shut out sound and pain. I wouldn't be thinking anything and I'd loose a sense of time passing. It was helpful. Now I can still go there when I have medical procedures done. So, I've found a positive use for it.

[ElizaV]

This contains a potential TRIGGER WARNING

This is similar to one of the things I more frequently experienced, and during some of these episodes is when I would cut myself. It didn't hurt, no pain at all in fact it felt soothing.

Fortunately I don't do that anymore and I use deep breathing in its place.

Thanks for answering Equis-Canine !

[syltownsend]

I just got done reading The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog. It is written by a child psychiatrist specializing in trauma therapy. He says there are two main ways that people cope with trauma: dissociation, and hyperarousal. Some people will have mostly one or the other, or a mixture. If you can't relate then it may be that you are more on the hyperarousal end of the spectrum.

I highly recommend the book, which is a collection of case studies of traumatized children and what insights were gained from them, as well as how they were successfully treated. The authors are Bruce Perry and Maia Szalavitz. It may be triggering for some.

[ElizaV in reply to syltownsend]

Wow thanks syltownsend i do believe I have way more hyperarousal so thank you for posting. I'm interested in the book so I'll be checking into that.