Anyone cured?

[jamie2727]

Don't mean to be a downer on here. But has anyone experienced the 100 percent recovery as Michelle has in her life? I WANT to hear a yes.

[Hidden]

In my opinion as a CPTSD survivor I must tell you Yes you can heal. I won't say 100 percent symptom free but for me that's not the expectation. I went from a total breakdown with a firestorm of PTSD to 100 percent functioning again in less than 2 years. But I am a new person with a need for self care and compassion for my well being. My symptoms that do still come are messages calling me back to what still needs attention. I have a philosophy for my own recovery but I believe it's a personal and unique journey possible for all.

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer]

I'd like to say it can happen, I have tobelieve it can. For me so far I am experiencing less pain than I was but its still there. Like Capejoy, I have CPTSD and DID.

[Hidden]

I think CapeJoy expressed it very well. I had someone say years ago "I stay away from absolutes any more." That's been my experience - I've found that it's more a matter of degree with most things in life. Yes, we can heal, but for me to say I'm symptom free - I'm not sure I'd be the best person to gauge the accuracy of that statement.

My symptoms are so much less that I'm having to get used to it. I too have CPTSD, and it appears that with a pattern of abuse over many years, there are some deeply imbedded issues I've had to deal with.

To hear a lively discussion about the whole issue of "can it happen" you might want to check out the pinned post "Can We Really Recover?" We had it a couple of years ago, and it brought out some really amazing insights.

[Equis-Canine Volunteer]

I was wondering the same thing. It is harder to notice changes in yourself because it is such a slow gradual process. I ask my therapist will I ever be healed? She didn't give me a yes or no answer but she pointed out how much I have changed since she has been treating me. Three years ago I hardly left my couch and now I am planning a big trip overseas. I'd kind of tried to forget how bad it was and that was real validation of improvement. Some parts of myself that I am very critical of may actually be good parts . (It is ok to relax on the couch sometimes!) That is a silly example but it is symbolic. I can still become triggered but much less often, I also know new ways to help myself recover more quickly.

I may always be a sensitive soul but maybe I was born that way. There are many sensitive people who don't have PTSD. Maybe I am just too hard on myself and need to change the way I view myself!

[red85]

Good question. I get more encouragement from hearing people say they're NOT 100% cured though.

I recently read about the "myth of continual improvement." There seems to be an idea in our culture of continual improvement and anything that's not improvement is stagnation or a setback. The person explaining this idea offered an alternative view that our lives, like nature, happen more cyclically and that there are times of growth, rest and death-->like the tide. She said something really good and I can't remember it exactly but it was something like

"A continually growing tide is eventually a tsunami--it needs to ebb and recede."

I kinda like to think of progress that way too--there's a natural ebb and flow to it. She also likened it to your breath--you breath in-pause-and out-pause. There's ebb and flow and rest. If I put myself on a journey up a mountain and I reach the top--what then? I much more enjoy a rambling stroll through rolling hills and valleys with plenty of stops to rest.

I dunno if any of that makes sense--hopefully. Your question got me thinking anyway and I'm grateful for that.

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to red85]

Hi red,

It makes sense to me. In economic classes we learned about stages of growth for companies. That there are periods of growth and then consolidation (don't remember the term exactly). I think people are the same, periods of growth and then changes, regrouping, slowing down. I have heard that both stages were equally important.

[MicheleR Founder]

What a great conversation! CapeJoy kicked it off just right, I think: For each of us our healing objectives differ and so what defines success differs. I continue to be 100% symptom-free.

When I was in recovery I took inspiration from others and kept my mind focused on what I wanted my healing outcomes to be. In the end, I believe that's the best each of us can do.

Healing, however, does not mean I'm the same person I was before. It's impossible to go back to who we could have been or were before our traumas/PTSD. Instead, we're challenged to create a new person, to choose the new self we wish to inhabit each day and define as ourselves.

Over the past decade I've spoken to and/or worked with hundreds of survivors, many of whom report full recovery. That includes several of my clinician colleagues, many of whom had PTSD, healed and have gone on to develop a career in helping others.

So, to answer your question from my personal knowledge base: Yes, it's possible to experience 100% recovery. The percentage is not important, though. The real objective, as I see it, is for each of us to clearly define what it is that we want to achieve in healing and work toward achieving it. We all walk the PTSD recovery path together but have our own personalized version of what we want, what we intend and what we experience.

[jamie2727 in reply to MicheleR]

HI Michele,

Symptom free for me would be to not having a physical/mental feeling of doom. It would mean allowing myself to feel good about feeling good about myself without feeling that I am conceited.

As far as going back to my old self....Yes I want to be that person who I was before. A person of poise, confidence, attractiveness, compassion, an inspiration to others and myself. To be able to watch a movie without my mind wandering. To be able to date a woman and allow myself being caught up in the feelings you expressed when you started to realize you had a romantic attraction to your dance instructor. (and you couldn't understand why at first he didn't :))

It's funny. When I read your story about how you healed and you talked about salsa dancing, I smirked. Because before trauma happened in my life - literally a week before it happened - One of the things I wanted to do - and to be seen doing and enjoying - was salsa dancing.

I want to have my identity back. The very one you spoke about in the first pages of your book - the soul essence that was ripped from me. I could go on and on and on........

Thanks for writing back Michele,

Jamie

[Ancientroc]

I want to be free to be the best version of myself!

[Equis-Canine Volunteer]

It just dawned on me, this forum is for people with PTSD not people who are healed! So we probably won't get any responses from those who are free of symptoms!

[Hidden]

I found that my perception of healing depends on the day that the question is asked. I think there is always hope to get better but the human condition will always be there. Happiness is definitely achievable and to me that is good enough. There was a time that I wanted to be so spiritual that I would feel above all my emotional problems but then I realized the if I achieved this state that I would not be any earthy good. I also realized that my humanity would keep kicking in and I would continue to make mistakes in my life. Mistakes always are painful. So have become mostly functional in the outside world most of the time. Happiness flies by every once in a while and if I do not sabotage it, it will hang around for a while. This seems to be how normal people do it so it is ok with me.

[Hidden]

I have an interesting observation that I've seen about PTSD and healing. I hope that I'm completely off base and maybe Michelle has some input. I do think the cause of the PTSD and the severity along with the length of time involved has an impact. That said, I have noticed the following:

The people who claim to be healed or claim to have had significant healing AND talk about it are all now self employed in a setting where they can control who they interact with professionally as opposed to people who have to or try to work in an employer/employee setting. On one hand, this makes sense as those working for another have to in some degree punch a clock. On the other hand it does seem that those (especially who obtained ptsd from trauma inflicted by another person or persons) and say they are healed have created an environment where they can control things more.

Just an observation. I'm writing this while taking a break from my own consulting business and I am very anxious about working for others. Recently Svava Brooks had a summit and almost all who claimed healing or great strides worked on their own and a large part of what they do is behind a computer.

I'm not saying this is wrong. I'm saying what I'm observing and as someone who got laid off over the holidays AND am terrified about going back to work.

[jamie2727]

My PTSD was not combat related. I was never physically abused. I was not raped. I was not in an accident. I am open to the possibility that it was an emotional entrapment that happened over a few weeks. that much I know.

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to jamie2727]

I think that emotional trauma is a trauma too. The standard definition of ptsd is about being in life threatening situation.

But I feel that those situations are not the only source of the ptsd, the psychological abuse was a trauma too.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

I cling to hope that some day the symptoms will not stand in my way of living my life. I mean for example experiencing fear but able to function and manage it as opposed to being completely paralysed by it.

I believe I had ptsd before and I recovered without any professional help. But it was less severe and more manageable and I had a job and a structure.

Still, overcoming nightmares and depression and anxiety was a big deal. For many years I was symptoms free. The nightmares stopped. I reached a point in my life when I was really happy and felt strong. I was able to overcome a very high anxiety situation so that was a sign of overcoming the trauma.

Now it is taking a very long time but it's partly due to circumstances.

I really don't know if ptsd symptoms returned because I wasn't cured or is it because there was a new situation that I couldn't handle which created a new trauma.

Even though it didn't last, I think it counts as recovery. That gives me hope that it is possible at all.

Some days I can imagine myself recovered completely. Some days not. I believe in power of self suggestion: if I believe something can be achieved, I can "convince" my subconsciousness to cooperate. I can see it's possible but I don't know yet how exactly.

[Comdytrd]

I'm much improved and now, when i have relapses or issues, I have the tools to deal with it much more quickly.

[SavingGrace Administrator]

I don't think I will ever be normal or have a normal life. I'm far too unconventional to be able to be that "role-model." But perhaps that road was never for me anyway.

PTSD has been the catalyst to show me of alternative ways to being - which I can only learn [and learn to learn] from.

I do intend to be the confident, empowered being that I 'know' is feasible and have experienced in pieces before. Life is continual learning though and adapting.

I just hope to be happy, healthy and healed of the incomprehensible fear and emotional pain/agony that has been part of my life for well over 30 years.

It will be, though. I have to believe. Faith keeps me moving onwards and upwards!

I won't mind if I have the occasional symptom - like anxiety at a party - but as long as I have the tools and know how I can manage to live in an ever-changing world, then I think I shall feel ok and free. I have to maybe learn to listen to all the alarm bells ringing and why they are; perhaps that is more a signal for me to choose a better path, rather than try and conquer the one I am facing?

[jamie2727]

People talk about relapses. I just don't know what a relapse is because there is not been a state of serenity ever since I was 24. Not being a downer here, I am just being honest.