Heal My PTSD

5 years in Therapy


I'm new to this forum. I've been in Therapy since 2010. I spent 6 months with one T, then 4 years with a new T. I've had complex PTSD since I was a kid but only diagnosed this year, after 2 Hospital visits. Before that, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which didn't seem right, and has since been dropped.

Last year I finally started to feel 'normal' a few times. However, when I went back into my triggers after feeling this way, the pain was excruciating and I became unstable again for the first time since I began recovery. Before that, I was almost blissfully stuck permanently in my symptoms. Now I'm back in my Ptsd big time, though slowly improving.

Has anyone who is further along on their journey experienced this? I know that recovery is slow and often unpredictable, but it seems like I've taken some pretty massive steps backwards. I have only felt 'normal' a few times this year. I'm losing hope and thinking that this grounded 'normal' feeling isn't possible to have long-term.

I'd also be interested to hear about peoples long-term experiences of Somatic Experiencing. I'm just learning it now and hope it's what I've been looking for.

5 Replies

Hi Johnny & healmyptsd community,

I am also new to this forum. I was diagnosed with recurring major depression in 2014 and with PTSD in spring 2015. I was relieved when I was diagnosed with PTSD because the diagnose of depression never felt quite right and did not explain my symptoms fully. So I totally understand what you are writing about your bipolar diagnosis!

I have been in treatment (weekly

Therapy, five weeks in-patient treatment and medication) for one year and a half. While I felt better this summer I relapsed in October. Since then I feel like going downhill. I am so tired of not feeling progress on healing & recovery.

Today I read some sentences in Michelle's book that really helped me understand my feelings: "1. You can't go back to who you were when you were "two steps behind" 2. You can only FEEL as though you have gone backwards"

It gave me hope when I felt I was stuck in a big muddy pond of despair...

Don't lose your hope and intention to recover!!!


Hey. Thanks. I'm a bit of a fan of Michelle and that quote from her was timely. I also was diagnosed with Major Depression and GAD, but in my last Hospital stay. I told my Psych that I had the same symptoms as people in there with PTSD and it all unfolded from there.

I enjoyed reading your reply. Thank you

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I have been experiencing this too recently and thought I was backsliding...until I ran across this perspective.

Our recovery is like climbing a mountain and the higher we go the steeper, more difficult it gets, and the more tired we feel.

So perhaps we are right on course to recovery.😀




I just noticed you were also asking about Somatic Experiencing therapy.

I have been doing that for about 2 years now, and I can say in a positive way, I have never experienced anything like it.

I feel that with it I am on my way with healing and recovery.

You might look at many of my previous posts here for my experiences with it.

Best Wishes,



Hi Carl,

Thanks for your replies and I'll check out some of your previous posts.

I'm happy to hear you've had a positive experience of Somatic Experiencing over the two years. I can relate to your comment that it is unlike anything you've ever experienced before.

Thanks for replying, because I've needed that sort of reassurance that I'm on the right track


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