chat

[Julesgettingthere]

hi anyone awake jules here.

Sorry its late, just wondered if anyone was awake.

Nothing new to report, just saying hello to you if you are awake too.

Love

Jules

x

[cat3]

Hello m'love. Had a word with your lovely mum yesterday after she messaged with the good news that 'Janet' is now fully recovered and leaping around !

How're you tonight Jules ? ................. not quite reached the leaping around stage yet ?? xxx

[Julesgettingthere in reply to cat3]

Hi there Cat,

Nice to hear your voice again - hope you are ok are you ?

Thats great news about Janet, she is a lovely dog, i saw her and her litter mate when they first arrived.

I seem to be going through changes again, very edgy tonight. tried all day again to try and produce something for work. Its just not happening. I keep giving up, then hear something inspirational somewhere, or something that makes you want to get back up brush yourself down and try harder. But tonight is the same as the last few months, nothing produced.

Something has changed because i dont feel able to do any of my 'projects'. I dont have the heart.

I was chatting to other people on the forum earlier, and their lives are so much in need of love and care compared to mine that i should just 'button it'.

I am going from angry to sad to angry.

will it always be like this Cat? because if it will and nobody is telling me, then they really should be because at least then i could weigh up my life and know a bit for certain who/what i am now.

I feel like i am struggling against something that everybody else knows doesn't exist.

Is this really all its going to be now Cat ?

Love

Jules

x

[cat3 in reply to Julesgettingthere]

I think you've been repressing your feelings for quite a while haven't you Jules, which is bound to have slowed down any emotional recovery process.

But now, with therapy, that process should be revitalised, albeit with a few scary revelations here & there.

I always use the metaphor of Dracula .......so long as 'loaded' emotions are locked away in the darkness of our minds they feed a monster within us which torments us with troubling thoughts and ideas.

But once those emotions are brought out into the light they're rendered harmless and die, so the monster ceases to exist.

Keep on exorcising those demons Jules. It isn't easy facing up them but imagine how liberated you'll feel, hopefully in the not-too-distant future.

..................not sure where all that came from but I'm sure you'll get the gist !

Night-night Jules ; I'll be thinking of you tonight (this morning actually !)

Love Cat xxx

[Julesgettingthere in reply to cat3]

nite Cat, thank you

Jules

x

[cat3 in reply to Julesgettingthere]

Just read through yours again Jules and had to say..............Don't ever feel you should 'Button it' ! That's the most counterproductive thing you could do. As Jan has said, we miss you when you're not around. xxx

[Hidden]

Morning Jules, sorry I wasn't around to chat when you needed someone last night. Hope you are feeling a bit more optimistic this morning. It is probably the therapy that is making you feel like this, it is hard to bring out things that you would prefer to keep hidden and not think about but, as Cat says, in the end these things are better in the light, looked at and put in their proper place and then they won't affect you like that again. I have had counselling and haven't wanted to think about things that the counsellor has brought out, but now I can dismiss them as not having the importance I was giving them and don't know why they had such an impact. They are still there in the back of my mind, but not hidden anymore, just in their proper place.

Your mum hasn't been on here lately. Hope she is doing well. There is a nurse from the Gambia at my husbands chemo unit. He was telling us that the political situation in the country is a bit unstable at the moment. Hope none of this affects your mother and her dogs.

Do look after yourself, you are such a valuable member of this forum and we miss you when you aren't here (at least I do). When I see 'Just Jules' here, I am always so pleased. Don't forget we are here for you like you have been for others (although I am not usually around in the early hours like you are!).

Sending lots of love

Jan

[BaronC]

I wasn't awake, but hello

[Julesgettingthere]

Hello Mr Barron, Jules here.

Nice to chat with you, often listen to your videos.

hope you have a lovely day

Love

jules

x

[swedishblue]

Hi Jules even though I'm eighteen hours too late!!

[Julesgettingthere in reply to swedishblue]

Hello Swedish, jules here.

Better day today - thank you for 'listening'. Lifted my day today knowing you are there.

Do you know anything about jellyfish ?

Love

jules

x

[swedishblue in reply to Julesgettingthere]

Hi Jules, I do hope you're having an easier day. Keep Hope Alive, is my motto always.

What's with the Jellyfish question? Is this a project you're working on?? I don't live by the coast, but have seen various species around the world on my travels. I wouldn't want to come up against a box jellyfish as they can be pretty lethal and they attack!! x

[Julesgettingthere in reply to swedishblue]

Hello Swedish, jules here -

Jellyfish - i had a rant about them a while back, this forum gave me loads of advice and i was more settled, but i kicked off with it again the other day as i say Healthunlocked digest page was using a picture of a jellyfish.

I guess i find them remarkable now, i didnt think about them before the crash.

I dont know if its a biological explanation or something deeper like a spiritual thing (like 'what is a persons 'self'/soul). I struggle with life, but i have a brain which is physically the size of the whole jellyfish, i have bones in my limbs and a heart to pump blood around.

If the jellyfish has no brain at all, no bones and no heart then how can it 'think' and make choices in its life, (the scientists apparently have witnessed jellyfish figuring out how to get through a maze)

I have never been to church (apart from at Christmas with my mum).

I have not been a 'church goer' as i dont know what to believe. But since the crash i have had a deep desire to go along just to ask 'him above' to answer some of my questions about life and death.

Sorry, ranting again - jellyfish get my brain going round in circles !

Do you have any thoughts ?

Hope you are having a good day

Love

jules