friends

[justlilme]

since being ill so caled friemds hae dropped like flies anyone else find this when u need help there not there when they need help com crawling back hurtful offensive but yet am sooo lonley cannot get out my house alone so stuck is and understatement! x x

[Ginsing]

Morning Justillme It is very difficult isnt Have you got some one you can ask for help it. I found this particularly when my husband died - everyone was there offering help and within a bout six months they had all disappeared save for my really good friends. I now count the friends on one hand the real ones and some times I dont manage to see them for weeks.

Itis brilliant being able to talk to people on here though makes me feel human and not so alone Maybe you need to see if local services can come in and give you a hand sometimes nurses on courses or sith formers doing their duke of edingburgher . There will be some one good luck xgins

[Jeniwren]

(((((HUGS))))) I think a great many of us understand. It seems to be the way when people have long term illness that doesn't get better & doesn't kill them

My husband & I moved areas about 7 yrs ago & I'm so isolated. I've not made a single friend in that time. He's been working all the hours in the day trying to make a living so we can have some choice in our lives so I don't see him for long each day.

I don't know what the answer is....I'm pretty much housebound & not able to get out much. I don't have anyone I can ask for help. People have suggested volunteering but I can't 'cos I can't guarentee I'll be able to turn up. There's no money for hobbies. Life just seems to be wasting away.

The only lifeline I have is playing games on Facebook.

Sorry hun.....I hope you're able to find something in your community that can help you.

[Hidden]

A great many of us can sympathise with you here sometimes I don't leave the house for weeks except for getting to the drs hospital apts etc..... Fortunately I have ONE good friend who has never given up on me and we try and meet up once a week for a chat over coffee and cake... I must admit most if the time it's at my bungalow as my friend is pretty fit and can walk the mile to me, whereas I have to get a taxi or if the weather is really good the hail and ride bus goes from my door to hers..... I help out on here and I play games and read there's so many things I used to do that I can't now..

Are you getting all the help you are entitled to??? have you been to your GP and explained how you feel he can refer you to services to give you extra help

VG x

[Maladjusted]

I think many of us have experienced the same thing. It is only when something turns your life upside down that you really find out who your friends are.

Most of my 'shallow' friends have disappeared into the ether. It hurt at first of course, but now I take the attitude that I am better off without them. That thought doesn't stop the loneliness. Although I manage to fill my days, I still miss the social interaction. Fortunately I have many email friends, so catch up with them when I am not too stiff to sit here and type

[ladymoth]

I agree with you, Mal - so many people only have friendships for what they can personally gain - you soon discover the true friends when you need help yourself!

I can honestly say that I don't have any real friends apart from an ex-boyfriend who treats me a bit like a sister - and I'm glad enough of that.

I'm not lonely, because I'm lucky enough to have my family nearby. I have become substitute mother and agony aunt to many of my daughters university friends, and I love the company of these young people.

I manage to get out a bit, so have plenty of acquaintances and I do a couple of hours voluntary work each week, so meet a lot of people there. I am constantly aware that if I become more disabled, which seems likely, that my network of people to talk to will shrink dramatically, and I shall have to do a rethink. I'm very happy to have online friends - it means such a lot!

Social Services used to run clubs for people who are disabled and isolated - I don't know if they still do so - probably not, with all the cuts - I shall see if I can find out

Moffy x

[justlilme]

thanks everyone for replies! i will look into like friends services coz i am so lonely and thanks again for not judging me. i thought i may sound desperate but am just lonely.

[fibro]

I've actually found the opposite, its not my friends, its me…..I don't even want to chat on the phone… i don't want to go out and don't really want to see anyone. I think its me driven them away; I'm sure I'm not alone.

I'm home alone most of the day so I guess I'm lucky i like my own company, but i do hope you find an answer and some friends soon. its so sad being lonely xx (((hugs)))

[justlilme]

thanks fibro for a different view maybe i have pushed people away. x x