Call up the troops!

Call up the troops!

Have you read the latest news?

HM Government want to cut disability benefits and increase funding to the Armed Forces!

We must help - there is no alternative!

We must all join up in some capacity.

You can be any rank you wish, combatant or non-combatant, though personally I wouldn't mind chucking a custard-pie grenade or two at No. 10 Downing St.

Tut-tut - mustn't be seen to encourage violence!

Anyway, bags I be Camp Chef, so I'll be in the Cookhouse Tent, please have your lunch orders in asap.

No IBS allowed in cyberspace so feel free to eat and drink as much as you fancy!

VG has graciously consented to be Field-Marshall, though she likes to be Private some of the time.

We are still short of Sergeants, Captains, Colonels, Wing Commanders etc, so grab your rifles, aeroplanes and tanks, choose your rank and join Fred Fibro's army.

We haven't found an enemy yet, so suggestions on a post card, please - we'll fight anyone! :)

28 Replies

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  • Private VG. Reporting for inspection ... Ten shun....clicks smart shiny boots together .... Hmmm maybe I should be a Field-Marshall do I really want my privates inspected.... I think that's too much for me and the forum..... Caresses twirly moustache and goes to order lunch...

    What are you doing in the cookhouse tent camp chef moffy .. . You are supposed to cook lunch not take orders and get it delivered from M&S....

    Marches off muttering about stiff upper lip ... Though that might be the moustache... No backbone .... Harrummpphhhh

  • Sausage, mash, beans and gravy for lunch, Madam Field Marshall, followed by rice pudding and stewed apples.

    We offer a choice, of course - take it or leave it :)

    You're in the Army now, yew 'orrible little person. Where d'yew think yew are - b* Claridges?

    [stamps big, black boots fiercely]

  • Squeaks and runs of to put the privates on parade.... Left right left right... March

  • The ranks are sadly depleted, Ma'am. I think they are all still in bed. Hopefully they will turn up later today, with their boots well- polished!

    Until then - we shall have to eat all the sausages and mash! :)

  • its amazing how many ex servicemen are physically and mentally disabled after serving our country . Its a hot air balloon again who would you save? for me i'd chuck every politician out straight off the gang plank to the sharks/bankers. Most are carer politicians who have never had a 'proper' job. A history of Art degree is so handy when you are ruining oops sorry running the UK economy. As for red nose day I WILL NOT be giving anything with Cameron and Mrs in has lost its credibility to me.x

  • I read this report ohh a week ago to my OH and when I said there was talk of the welfare benefit being cut in favour of the army my OH quipped back immediately well all the sick people should apply to join the army and that would cause meltdown....

  • Ps I won't be giving to Red Nose Day cos I can't afford it .... Full stop..

  • They are selling a very nice, decently sized bag with Mickey Mouse on, suitable for carrying shopping in, cheaper than some supermarkets I could name and all in a good cause. Well worth the £2.

  • Obviously when it comes to discussing politics, this site is restricted to disability issues, but I see where you're coming from, Peely!

    It is a shame about all the disabled servicemen - it looks as though we may be joining their ranks before long, if all disability benefits are cut so savagely - how else shall we get a living wage?

    Seriously, if all disabled folk who get put back onto Jobseekers or WRAG decided to hobble along to the Army Recruiting Office and offered to serve their country, it would cause an administrative meltdown.

    Rather a good idea as peaceful protests, go!

    Moffy x

  • Ooohhh bangers and mash and plenty of it...... The troops are on parade duty I set them marching and they marched off........

  • Wanders in rather late in the day having been on a covert mission to somewhere....can't tell you where....nod nod etc.......hey you lot get outta MY kitchen......me is the cordon bleu cook round here and I won't have other ranks taking her position.,...... Now shall we have Beef Wellington followed by creme brûlée all washed down by some rather good bubbly......turns and sniffs.......sausage and mash........never......(unless her friends really want it in which case it will be cordon bleu sausage and mash with a red onion marmalade and red wine reduction)........ Bimbles off to the kitchen

  • That sounds like a more digestible option.

  • Bimble away Foggy! >>takes off apron and sits down with knife and fork<<<

    I will have large helpings of EVERYTHING! :)

    Moffy x

  • Ohh luveerrllyyy some one who can cook erm not saying you can't Major moffy

  • >>>>>>>. bimbles back in, she's been slaving away over the hot stoves and has come out with copious quantities of beef a la rubber boot and something which looks creamy and a lake of crisp toffee on top...~~~~^^>. dogs in pursuit ??? sausages, flying and mash all over the place >>>>> whoops got a bit carried away, sorry Major Moffy hope I didn't offend, hopes the offerings will placate everyone :-) :-)

  • Foooooooooddddddddd!!!!!! :D

  • Sighs - and mashes more spuds, opens more cans of beans - you just can't get the staff these days! :(

  • Only kidding Foggy - can you really make Beef Wellington? It's the trickiest dish in the book, and I always panic if I have to attempt it. same with Creme brulee - it's difficult to get the toffee layer just right!

  • Oh yes in seedy, I was trained at Tante Marie in Woking and boeuf wellington was a dish produced on many occasions. I do an alternative without pastey and use chopped herbs which i roll the beef in, then put parma ham or proscuitto covered with porcini mushroom and then rolled tight....it is a. Lighter version. I had may own tea room and then outside catering business until fibro and other health issues rendered me incapable. I solved the creme brûlée conundrum by using a proper blow torch instead of one off the poncy ones in cook shops which a candle could beat for hear. Either that or I really really cheat and make the caramel in a pan and then pour it on top of the creme, making an almost skating rink effect, the joy of taking a spoon and bashing it when serving is great......

    Yours, mouth wateringly. Foggy x

  • Ps what did you think of my virtual dogs.......nearly worked ?

  • Indeed my attempt would taste like a Wellington for both it's actually a relief to my family I can't cook a main meal now......

  • Did someone forget the Royal Navy?

  • No, Jack is welcome too - bring your own warship and your own supply of rum - there have been MOD cuts, you know!

  • Ohhh and the airforce can I fly a plane.... Can't be that much harder than riding a mobility scooter :)

  • That would be right, he is takeing from us because we are weak and vulnerable. Less able to fight back. I can see a war happening within our own country at this rate... sign up for us, the British less abled army....& they can start to pay us for our supplies.....

  • Being ex army, I can tell you one of the things you need to pass is the medical, as long as ATOS does this, I expect to see you all on parade at 0800 hrs.

  • I'll join as Captain please, in the nursing sector!! Oh, could we please have chicken tikka masala on the menu? I love this!! Mind you, I love food, full stop!! Except spinach, broad beans, butter beans, olives, tripe, tofu, and probably some more things, but fibro fog on the move!!! XXX

  • Sergeant of Horse for me! (sidesaddle for all Fibromites, it's more comfy!)

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