Always exhausted and trapped within a... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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Always exhausted and trapped within a lead weight corpse.

psychorrax profile image
16 Replies

My physical form is simply not designed for modern life. My wiring has become fried and short circuits with alarming regularity........oh and my corpse also behaves just like a barometer....it knows when it's going to rain, snow, hail or thunder. After over 30 years the novelty factor has long worn off. However, my spirit is strong and hopefully always will be throughout being trapped within afformentioned 'corpse'. I have lived with Fybro for over 20 years and it would be wonderful to have a day away from it. Most days it lives like a quasi-dormant parasite sucking the energy out of me and on the other days........I don't exist.....it someone gave me a button to self destruct, for it all to stop, I have to admit it would be pressed. This is not due to depression, I have embraced my inner masichistic streak, it is simply the fact that I find it hard to cope with the torture of living with chronic pain that no amount of medication can take away. I have to reduce my existance to breathing in and out and writhing around into bizzarre contortions to vainly attempt to find some position that doesn't hurt quite as much :-) Fybro won't kill you, but sometimes you wish it would.....Just remember, relax, breathe and even the worst pain will eventually pass. Blessings be X

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psychorrax profile image
psychorrax
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16 Replies
irisjoy profile image
irisjoy

Hi

yes you have sumed fibro up perfectly,if only we had a switch that would turn it off

i do the contortions and its the few seconds before your brain realises it still hurts that keeps me going when i am really bad, but my main pain is due to arthritis

i always think tomorrows another day and maybe, just maybe i will be painfree

take care , sending you warm hugs x J

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b in reply toirisjoy

I'm sending you a gentle hug and hopes for a better tomorrow. (( :) ))

sandra

jonesclairem profile image
jonesclairem

Gentle hugs.. I live by this moto which keeps me strong!!!

"No one said life would be easy... They just promised it would be worth it"

Much love xx

Ginsing profile image
Ginsing

So you have indeed become a grand master of Fibro how right you are. But even with this all encompassing pain we look to search for pain free days and ways to ease our lot keep smiling sister through it all :) xgins

I,ve always said if we had to work we would make great talking barometers.. You have summed it up perfectly

VGxx

ladymoth profile image
ladymoth

I feel just like that this morning!

I dreamed I was trapped in the boot of a car, and I was trying to prise it open, but my arms didn't want to work. It was only my duvet holding me down!

You have a gift with words, Psychorrax, and you have described fibro exactly.

Moffy x

Angeldancea812 profile image
Angeldancea812 in reply toladymoth

I have recently had the opposite dream to yours several times. I can fly as easily as I can walk. I soar over buildings and all my troubles are left below as I fly up to the roofs and then fly/walk up there.

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b in reply toAngeldancea812

I fly too, but just above the ground so I don't have to walk.

psychorrax profile image
psychorrax

Thank you all :-) It is wonderful that there is true understanding in all of your words<3 It is something we all share, the good and the bad moments. Gentle hugs to you all.

Caroljm profile image
Caroljm

Yes, you have summed up fibro beautifully but it is that wonderful smart person which keeps us going. Its time that some research was done to find a way of rewiring us. After all when house/homes need rewiring you call in a sparks to do it, so way can not neurologists or biochemists or physologist do the same for us!

Fibrofoggiest profile image
Fibrofoggiest

I agree with the others, you have managed to put into words the way I have felt for so long, the wish to turn a switch and it could all stop causing so much agony. I dr once sad a bout another condition I had, that one day a chemical in the brain would be found that accounted for the condition (not fibro) and to a degree they have and that has turned around how they approach treating patients,

How I wish that a similar thing could be said for all of us and that a cure or at least a really good medication could be found to stop the suffering of so many.

Gentle hugs. Foggy x

angib53 profile image
angib53

Psychorrax you have wrote so spot on , worded so correctly , just this morning I woke and said please give me one day I dont feel this , thankyou for sharing xxxx big hugs x

Cinnabar profile image
Cinnabar

Thank you so much!

I'm just recently diagnosed (2 years) and now beginning to understand the condition.

'Exhausted' & 'Lead Weight' are indeed a perfect description of FMS.

I have many other conditions too. I have an orthopaedic double bed (which I don't share). I need to move position frequently throughout the night. Every movement is painful.

It can indeed come down to finding a position that causes the least pain!

Thank you for sharing!

John W X

Annabell profile image
Annabell in reply toCinnabar

Hi these feelings are so right and in time e do seem to live with fibro. I read with interest John's comment on not sharing a bed. I dont know if John has a partner but I have a husband I do sleep with. I emphasise sleep because anything else is impossible lol:) The point I am trying to make is that as you are aware we are up all night in and out of bed etc and my poor long suffering husband wont let me or him sleep in the spare room. Has anyone got the same problem as me.

Hope you are all having a great day.

Take care

Bye for now love A xx

psychorrax profile image
psychorrax

Hello All, I actually do not have a bed, I have a mattress on the floor. One of my friends recently gave me a very appropriate sticker which says 'The older I get, the easier I find rolling out of bed in the morning..........getting up of the floor however is altogether a different problem'

More often than not I end up on the living room floor propped up by a pile of cushions rather than disturb my long suffering husband. I must add that he hates the fact that we rarely go to bed at the same time and can't quite grasp that I just can't get up the stairs and go to bed.......I wish it was that simple. Even if I actually get to bed I'm up and wandering the house into the small hours waiting for the pneumatic drills in my legs to stop and the person who has the Voodoo doll of my effigy to stop sticking the pins in.

I don't know if anyone else feels the same, but when I try and explain specifically my sleeping issues to anyone from either the medical profession or the DWP the simply do not nderstand. They just stare blankly and put their head on one side and say 'Keep taking the tablets' *expletive deleted*. Sometimes I would like them to have a day and night in my body just so they could understand.........but I wouldn't be that cruel to anyone.

Blessings be <3

loppyloo61 profile image
loppyloo61

Thank you, I agree with all th other comments, your girft of words have summed up description of living/existing with Fibro perfectly! I have recently "Blogged" re having "Flare-up" since well before Christmas. I hav"nt stepped over door except for hospital Appointments, no motivation to get dressed, just live in P.J"s!! Fibro been particularly worse for past 5 weeks, i hav"nt even been abel to get out of bed! No interest/concentration for TV/reading which used to keep me pre-occupied! The PAIN has just englufed every part of my life. Out of character for me but even had to call GP out for the pain, only to find I had nasty bout of shinges/UTI & bed- sores from having to stay in bed for so long! On top of Fibro!

I don"t know if anyone else has tried this but it has brought a little relief for me to sleep ( ha ha look at the time 4.30am!) hubbie bought me a king-sized duvet which he folded into four, put on top of mattress from pillows down. I"m like "Princess & the Pea Story!" but it has brought me a little comfort! He also says its like sleeping with me "roasting a chicken", (room so hot as we all know how cold pain makes us) but when i scream/moan out in pain asleep, he tries to keep turing me from side to side, onto back ect. as pain seems to be worse if left in just one position for length of time! I suppose anythings worth a try to elivate pain even if just a little!

I commend you for your description of living with incidious illness of Fibro and think your words should be put into Pamphlet as they are spot on! I have lived with Fibro for 20+ years and have never heard it described in such an accurate manner!!

Thank you.

God Bless BB X

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