Eat your heart out maralyn munroe

Eat your heart out maralyn munroe

I cruised slow and sexily towards the fridge dragging my left leg hanging onto my right arm with a rigor mortice grin on my face. Then with a breathlessness like the blonde bombshell would envy I leaned down to open the fridge door

Not being too bright as we know if you are a sex symbol you dont need brains...I yanked the door open with a flourish that almost put the fridge mechanics on double time smacked myself squarely in the face with errant door

Tears of laughter and pain (having visualised the sheer come hither of all this) I reached into the f#@$+g fridge blindly grabbed for the butter and the creamy coleslaw the last bit if cold chicken and did the sex shuffle of coleslaw and sointo the kitchen found a two day old bread roll (waste not want not) and cafefully buttered it in fact it was utterly buttered when I was done

Chopped up chicken and put it on the roll feeling generious I fed what was left to wotsit the cat who was making loch ness imatation lakes of drool warching me.

Slipped the top off slipped the top off the creamy coleslaw and spread it onto the other side if the stale bread roll benefits being suspended during the swap from being walking dead to aging dead makes one become quite frugal. To be fair the coleslaw Was extremely creamy I then moved back into my safe pkace to enjoy . lawd knows its a quite a feat making a sandwich......

And lo and behold a miracle had taken place the coleskaw had been turned from creamy coleslaw into a very thick white milkshake slash slush puppy no dinner fir me then

My carer who actually does care came along and decided that I was too distressed and depressed cant think why and called my ,ate the hairdresser sony is training her daughter in lawand I am the guinea pig some hours later I had extensions and hair to match the dumb sexy blonde I was becoming like

Well two out of three isn good odds hmmm not too bad for 62 she thinks and sits up straight all night to preserve the look


16 Replies

  • Hiya Blossom (not faded)

    I have to say that this had me in peals of laughter, what a hoot!!!


  • Hilarious and sounds so like me (not the blonde bombshell bit) but all the rest so apt xx

  • Fantastic. I thought that was really funny. Like me too. You said you smacked the fridge door in your face, do you walk in to walls, door frames and everything else when having a flare up? Just want to check. Do you also tip over? ...... There has to be some humour in life. Me and my Manager were absolutely laughing our heads off the other day at having to buy new sets of really, really cheap cups, plates and glasses really, really regularly after breaking the others dropping them or whatever. It you didn't laugh, you'd cry (and I've been there, and done that, and refusing to do it any more!!!!!) Enjoyed reading your post.. Thank you!

  • I do not walkminto doors and walls THEY MOVE when I look away and as forbthe floor its always tipsy lol

  • lol i know just what you mean , doorways always move when i walk through them , so many bruises but i do love the pretty colours ha ha

  • Thanks FB and IJ. Oh good, well not good but you know what I mean!! Reassuring in a strange way! And, if you aren't fully, fully concentrating on standing up straight, for example when you are putting your coat on, or looking around a room, do you fall over then? Just picking your brains really trying to see if these things are "normal Fibro".

  • umm yes , i can fall over stood still lol , its just one of those things x

  • Yes, that too! Thank you very much for responding.

  • For a while I used to put couscous into tea and coffee instead of sugar, (well they tend to look alike when you have severe cataracts!), had to move the couscous elsewhere in the end!

    So glad I'm now cataract free, just waiting for the follow up appointment with the surgeon so I can get reading glasses.

    Cheers, Midori

  • Lovely picture and description, and so glad it's not just me, at my last opticians appt he asked about the dent in the arm of my glasses. Oh that's where. I shut my head in the cupboard I said... Matter of factly.....his face said it all...

    VG x

  • Pictured the head cupboard lol had my cateractsvremoved overbtwo years ago cant see a damn thing again:(

  • bravo bravo when are you thinking of releasing the film? lol thank you for putting a smile on my face. i think i do the same sort of walk and i'm 50. lol

  • I enjoyed this - more like Tom and Jerry than Marilyn - tho' your hairdo looks lovely!

    Personally, I specialise in snapping or bending my door key so that I can't get into my flat. Had to call daughter home from work last week, so she could let me in with spare key!

    Moffy x

  • Oh Blossom, you are a superstar... and by the sounds of it my love, a great multi-tasker too!! you looking stunning...but that sandwich! reminds me of when my mum sprayed hair lacquer then discovered it was pledge!!! mind you her hair never looked so shiny ;) and we immediately replaced her anti-perspirant spray for a mum roll-on one ;) knowing my old mum she would have starched her armpits and dads work shirt lol You sure are a star and La Monroe would never have looked so good in a million years!! its hubby's birthday in Dec if I book soon will you come and sing him "Happy Birthday"?

    Thank you so much for sharing

    lots of love





  • I should be very breathless by dec and may even squash squeeze would never do into some red and black lace underwear and fish net stockings theres a large man down the road if I waggle my blubber he may be so in tears with laughter that he won't notice me borrowing them but darhling he won't part with his diamonds cis diamonds are a cross dressers best friend

  • rofl!! bless your heart take care and keep smiling and laughing



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