The Fibroaction team, the day trip and Mr Darcy

As a new volunteer I was very excited to be invited on the FA team annual outing and getting the chance to meet all the people who work so hard to run this site. Unfortunately moffy had organised this years outing.... By the time we had all struggled into our outfits it was mid afternoon and the horses pulling the carriages bolted and left us stranded in a cornfield.. But it gave us time to bond and dream of being rescued by Mr Darcey.... So with that in mind .... Who would be your Mr Darcey .........and could you enjoy living in the times of no Internet, writing letters and leaving visiting cards...????

[ladymoth]

Bradd Pitt for Mr Darcy, sez me!

There again, the original - Colin Firth - would do very nicely. I have left him a visiting card and asked him to dive into that lake again, so that we can all goggle at the wet shirt with the manly chest beneath - Phwoooaaarrrr!

I have ordered a new team of horses for the carriage, and told the local peasantry in no uncertain terms that they must pop along and wait on us with strawberries and cream, game pie, Madeira wine and other such small essentials.

I shall miss the internet, and I shall miss M&S - what did they do for underwear? if I have to make my own I shall look like Wilma Flintstone!

Moffyx (AKA Lady Catherine de Burgh)

[Angeldancea812 in reply to ladymoth]

If Pride and Prejudice was first printed 200 years ago this year very much doubt if Colin Firth is anywhere near 'the original'.

[Hidden]

Don't tell Sandra put I pinched one of her budgies feathers,,, due to fibro fog I have lost my quill and am writing to complain to you about the lack of organaisation and planning so don't read this as you will be getting a letter delivered by my footman shortly... I have also got my dressmaker to run you up some suitable underwear... They will be delivered shortly........ Due to the trauma I am confined to my chaise lounge for the rest of the day. So will not be at home to visitors though you may leave a calling card.... Now before I have another attack of the vapours I must think about my Mr Darcey........

VG ( aka Mary Bennett) x

[ladymoth]

I'm lying on a chaise as well, so we can keep those idle footmen running around all day with our messages. I might dig out my sedan chair and pay you a visit - that will keep FOUR lazy footmen employed! Are we supposed to have 'Handmen' and Legmen as well?

Lady Moffy of Motheaten Manor

[Hidden]

Not really but knowing you , you will invent them just as an excuse to have more MEN about...

Yours sipping weakly on Madeira wine and thinking about Mr Darcey while trying to fend off a very distant cousin who seems to be dressed as a vicar and demanding my hand .... Why does he want my hand ... And which one????

VG of VeryGothic Manor

[ladymoth]

Very Gothic - I like that - it suits you!

Having personal attack of vapours - pass that Madeira wine will ya?

Hey - a large piece of tumbleweed has blown past my chaise longue - where IS everyone today?

Just Motheatenx

[Hidden]

Please stop munching on that rather nice fabric of your chaise... I have dispatched a parcel of Madeira wine and some dainty biscuits along with the now completed undergarments... Do not get confused and eat the underwear ...it is made of a rather fine wool....and shove the biscuits under your dress as the resulting lumps will look most unbecoming when Mr Darcey comes a calling.... As to where everyone is today after the general disaster of your outing all of the Fibroteam are lying prone with sal volatile... There has still been no word from my Mr Darcey ... I shall go into a decline

Just Grumpy x

[summerlite]

Better late than never! Am all in a bother by the mutter of the name Darcey!!! Did i ever mention that in a past life, I was the Lizzie Bennet that my good friend Miss Austen wrote about ? Only today my Darcey is ol' Russ. We are still at the 'stand off' stage at present...S x

[ladymoth in reply to summerlite]

Welcome, Miss Bennet, we shall forgive your somewhat tardy arrival!

[ladymoth]

Very well - I will leave off chewing the fabric as Darcy has just arrived. You can have him when I've finished with him. He is eating the dainty biscuits like a man possessed, so I shall be unable to shove 'em under my frock.

Ah - here comes Mr Bingley, too - t'is either feast or famine - I do declare! He has harnessed up his phaeton ( don't worry, he says it's not painful) and we depart this forenoon for Bath to take the waters. Am taking spare bottle of gin to take the taste away.

I have this day received a kind letter from our dear friend Sandra, who has fallen upon most unfortunate times. She may have to take a position as governess poor soul, but at this moment in an attempt to ward off starvation, she is plucking her budgie, and stuffing it with sage and onion.

Never fear, dear VG - we may yet come by the feathers to decorate our bonnets!

Swooningly, Lady Moffy

PS. Who is this Sal Volatile? Has she no title? We must restrict our membership to persons of the very best quality you know!

[hamble99b in reply to ladymoth]

indeed you have me wrong mistress, 'twas not budgie, 'twas a guinea fowl - I am undone!

A gent asked for a kiss for a guinea. I obliged and he gave me the guinea fowl!

am I still able to wear white should I marry?

[Hidden]

I am afraid she is a person of somewhat questionable morals as she is lying down with the rest of the Fibroteam I am at this moment composing a suitable note to send to the team warning them of the consequences of associating with such a woman. I have just been visited by Mrs Gardener ...despite me telling the servants that I was not to be disturbed ...who came with some alarming news.... Apparantly KazF has been seen down by the docks.... Unchaperoned....She SAID she was teaching the sailors to write their names so they can get their wages...

I have just realised why my Mr Darcey has not yet arrived... I forgot to choose him..... I need a cold compress for my head while I think of a suitable refined man for such a job

Yours suffering with ague

Lady VG

[ladymoth]

I've always said you 'ague' too much!

I am deeply grieved to hear such news of KazF- to think that poverty has brought her so low that she won't even share her sailors with us!

Must nip down to the docks to chaperone her - and maybe offer a few words of advice

Now - for you - how about Daniel Day-Lewis? He is a very noble sort of person, and rather tasty as well. 'Tis my opinion he would make a fine Mr Darcy.

I am off to go into a quick decline - it seems the fashion these days!

Lady Moffy, Countess of Holey- Vest

[Hidden in reply to ladymoth]

Come on down - there's plenty to share - all the nice girls love a sailor.

Apparently, they want to learn more than just writing their names! Any ideas what else I can teach them...?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I can send you my distant cousin the vicar and he can preach sermons to them while asking you for your hand ... I have refused to give him either of mine as he seems unable to tell me what he wants them for, oh and look out for Motheaten Moffy Countess of Moulting she is coming to the docks to take you off to Sandra's to partake of a morsel of stuffed budgie

I enclose a vinaigrette and sal volalatile, she has finished with the fibro team and is coming to help you with the sailors

Lady VG the Very Gluttoneous

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

sailors very excited about your cousin. Planning to take him on a voyage. Don't quite understand where - but it must be some far-off land - maybe near the north pole, because they said something about putting his sermons where the sun don't shine. How wonderful for him!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That is indeed an incident of momentous importance... I am sure the sea voyage will be good for his health and as many hands make light work my cousin should be in his elemant to have so many hands to choose from... I must admit to being a trifle piqued as he was at such pains to obtain my hand for reasons unknown, and now he has rushed off with a crew of sailors with a multitude of hands at his disposal... I hope his intentions are of an honourable nature... I would write more but I seem to have worn out my budgie feather quill and need to send a servant out to purchase a more sturdy implement.

Whilst I have my skin suitably whitened for tonight's small soiree

[Hidden]

Daniel day Darcey sounds perfect.. Perhaps you should escort KazF round to Sandra's to partake of a stuffed budgie as they both seem to be in financial straits .... I would invite them to my grand supper tonight but I fear that will offend their sensitive natures and I would never wish to make them embarrassed ( or full) for the world..... remember to take your vinegarete with you , their are some rather unsavoury smells emanating from the docks... And get back home in plenty of time to rest before attending my grand supper tonight as I have announced to my guests that you will be singing tonight while I accompany you on the pianoforte.

Lady VG Countess of the coloured ivories.

[Hidden]

Alas and Alack - All my sailors appear to have run away to sea (!) with Countess VG's distant cousin. I understand they are making their way to some foreign port call Handburg. Lord only knows what they will do on arrival.

So, as I can no longer discharge my bountiful philanthropy in educating the poor wretches, I find myself quite at a loose end, and shall be most grateful to be attending VG's soiree tonight.

In the meantime, I shall amuse myself with a small vist to the Lady Sandra, where I understand one may stock up on the fashionable new miniature quills. Just as well, those sailors quite wore mine out!

[Hidden]

Please do not tell Sandra of my small soirée tonight as I fear the thought of plucking and stuffing her budgies for sustenance will send her into a severe meloncholy if she realises she need not have taken such drastic action, though I have dispatched a small basket of nourishing tid bits to get her through the night... If you manage to obtain a small supply of the fashionable miniature quills please keep them well hidden about your person as I would hate your carriage to be attacked by nefarious persons in search if these rare items

Yours having her hair crimped in the latest style

VG x

[hamble99b in reply to Hidden]

after my downfall earlier [see above] I fear I have become an outcast and must wear the scarlet letter... sigh!

[Hidden]

Sandra upon reading of your innocent nature being put upon by some scoundrel I am sending my carriage around for you forthwith.. You need chaperoning and sustenance ... The secret of your stolen kiss will be well hidden and we shall find you a suitable husband of the Bon ton with haste and ease ... Due to Moffy spreading rumours of your great inheritance upon your marriage. Bring your budgies , I have sent out for millet and cuttlefish .. All is safe at my residence KazF sent my only dubious relation the Vicar off on a long voyage so your hands are safe.. Yvette is waiting here to dress you and your hair in the most becoming of styles

Yours picking out suitable marriage invitation cards

VG x

[hamble99b in reply to Hidden]

a small bowl of broth if you could spare it.

[hamble99b]

laurence olivier was a fine mr darcy

[Hidden]

A small bowl of broth indeed you shall be dressed in white as becomes a debutante of the highest social scale with your hair crimped you will steal the hearts of all the eligible bachelors socitety has to offer.. And you will placed near the head of the table at supper... I am planning for Mr Darcey to escort you into supper to show you off to you best advantage...Please do not bring the guinea fowl all evidence of your earlier mishap should be hidden

Yours hoping this will not lead to a disagreement most unpleasant between moffy KazF. And myself if Mr Darcey should become enamoured of your charms

VG x

[hamble99b in reply to Hidden]

I shall endeavour to be prim and proper, but cannot count for mr darccy being unable to resist my beauty.

watch & learn girls !

[Hidden]

Paper and quill is much more reliable I am unable to reply to angel dancer I keep getting error 404 but angel if you see this down here who would you pick for Mr Darcey...?

[Hidden]

Perhaps you didn't read the original transcript of pride and predudice .. In it Mr Darcey had a strong fascination with all things with fins..... So my talents on the pianoforte with my fins of steel will send him into rapture a my feet

Yours with an original transcript of pride and predudice with a few added pencil notes abut fins hastily added

[hamble99b in reply to Hidden]

so that's why he dove in the lake!

[where's my shark outfit?}

[ladymoth]

Good evening Your Most Gothic ladyship - which of these guys is complaining of a small soiree? is it the same one who wants hands? Maybe it's Frankenstein making another monster with all the hands, after all, we've got plenty of footmen, maybe he needs a handmaiden!

Hope your fins of steel have not rusted this day

Yr servant, Madame

Lady Moffy of Moulting x

[Hidden]

Ahh lady Moffy could you please refrain Sandra from donning a most unsuitable outfit for a young debutante and most importantly keep her out of the lake where I have an assignation with Mr Darcey... It seems he has an infatuation with my fish like charms and I want him all for myself

Yours shellfishly

VG the lady of the lake

[ladymoth]

You're getting a bit crabby now as well as shellfish!

I will tempt Sandra away from the lake with an assortment of chocolate coated budgie truffles so that you can carry on with your debauchery in peace <sniffs disapprovingly>

Don't interfere with his winkles!

Lady Moffy of Trufflehampton

[Hidden]

Hmmmph do I sense an air of jealousy emanating from your breast... Or is it rotting coconut shells... If KazF will chaperone our wilful protégée I will lend you my second best wetsuit and you may converse and recite a little poetry with Mr Darcey and myself and whatever else we can winkle out of him.. I am hoping he will invite me to his home where I can duet with his charming sister you are welcome to join us and assist the housekeeper in removing the dust sheets from the furniture

Yours VG the future Mrs Darcey

[hamble99b in reply to Hidden]

mr bingley doth plight his troth and I have accepted him.

might we have a double wedding?

we intend to honeymoon at downton abbey.

lady s